Whirlwind of a Journey
by Regina-sp
Summary: A Clarisse and Joseph Story. An unexpected someone re enters Clarisse's life sending her world crashing down around her. Will Mia still be Queen and will her marriage to Joseph survive?
1. Chapter 1

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to quickly introduce myself, my name is Gina. I usually write Dr. Quinn or Scarlet Pimpernel fan fictions and have several I really need to finish, but lately have become obsessed with Joseph and Clarisse after reading so many just incredibly well written C&J fan fictions on here, so I just had to try my hand at it too. Hope you enjoy, it will most likely end up being a pretty long story. Please leave me some feedback whether good or bad and thanks!

Whirlwind of a Journey

Chapter One

She stood there in the throne room yet again just as she had many times since that day a little over a month ago after Parliament had tried to force Mia into an arranged marriage, she stared intently into the face of the portrait before her as if she were somehow willing herself to discover the answers to her dreams she so desperately sought.

It was those eyes that seemed to call to her as if beckoning her through some unknown force, the same eyes that both her grand daughter and her beloved Phillipe had shared with the man staring back at her from the portrait. He had been King, her husband, and her best friend for so many years and although she had never been able to return his intense feelings of love, she had always known that he greatly cared for her and respected her as his equal. She might have been able to live the rest of her life in this way, never feeling anything other than gratitude and respect for her husband, if he had not insisted one day that she suddenly had to have a personal bodyguard by her side at all times and in walked Joseph, turning her life upside down, invoking feelings in her that were so intense and full of burning desire that left her breathless and longing for his touch so much that it used to frighten her. Joseph was everything to her now, from the moment they had first laid eyes on each other and been introduced, their heart and spirits had connected, sending them on a whirlwind of a journey that neither had ever expected but was oh so eternally grateful for. If only these horrid dreams would end now and leave her to the bliss of now belonging to her beloved Joseph in heart, body, and mind as she so longed to be with no intrusions of the past coming back to haunt her.

He watched her through the monitors in the security control room, easily sending Shades and Lionel away with some excuse; he studied her, almost transfixed by the expression in her eyes as she silently gazed at the portrait of herself, Rupert, and their two sons. Try as he might, Joseph could not rid himself of the feelings of hurt, jealousy, and pain that stabbed at his heart and plagued his mind every time he witnessed his wife coming back into the throne room to simply gaze at this family portrait. He knew it had something to do with the intense dreams she had been having but insisted on suffering in alone. He had tried many times since their marriage of a week ago, as they had naturally taken to sharing her bed and he had soon discovered her unrelenting terrible dreams that seemed shake her to her very core. He could not imagine what these dreams could be about that would frighten her to such an extent that she would wake up shaking and crying. Clarisse was the strongest person he knew and it broke his heart to see her like this. What had it been now, four dreams in the last six days? She would scream for him in her confusion before realizing that it had only been a dream, clinging to him as he whispered soothing words into her ear and her breathing would eventually calm as the tears fell. Only when he tried each time to question her about her dreams, she would pull away and beg him not to ask her right now, each time she seemed to withdraw a little bit more from him into this protective shell that he couldn't reach and end up exactly where she was now, staring into the face of the King as if he held some sort of power over her, forcing her back to him. And yet, how could that be? He knew Clarisse loved him with the same intensity that he loved her; he could see it in her eyes every time they touched or made love. If only she would open up to him about this and let him help her! Why did she feel the need to go through this alone when he was right there longing to ease her pain and be with her through everything, no matter what the cost. He would gladly lay down his life for her; it had never been about duty in all these years as her bodyguard, it had always been about her and this undying need to be fulfilled by her love. He had sworn in his heart and soul, to love, honor, and protect her for all eternity long before they made their vows to each other before God on their wedding day last week at the alter.

A soft knock at the door startled Joseph from his thoughts as Mia poked her head through the door. "Joe?" She called sending him a soft smile.

"Yes Princess?" He replied unable to keep from returning her infectious smile even though his heart was in such turmoil.

"I was looking for Grandma and ran into Shades and Lionel in the kitchen and they told me you were in here and actually I'm glad because I…I…needed to talk….and since I found you first…if you don't mind?" She was nervously wringing her hands together and suddenly realized she had been rambling but desperately needed some reassurance about the coronation that would take place tomorrow making her the new queen of Genovia.

"Take a seat, Princess." Joe replied as he stood and pulled out a chair for her to sit in.

"You really don't mind me coming to you with my problems, Joe? If you're too busy or anything?" She asked nervously suddenly stopping mid sentence as she noticed Joe once again closely studying the monitors, one in particular claiming his attention.

"I'm sorry, Mia. You were saying?" He replied as he tore his eyes away from the image of his wife being interrupted by Charlotte in the throne room. Joseph had always been amazed at how Clarisse could just close her eyes for a moment and then quickly transform from being Clarisse the woman who clearly felt so many things on so many levels to Queen Clarisse of Genovia who was a tower of strength and could handle anything with her diplomatic answers and ideas. As he mentally shook himself and forced his mind to focus on the young girl before him, he suddenly took in her appearance, the doubt and worry that clearly showed in her eyes, making her suddenly look even younger than she was to the man who loved her as his grand daughter, for she had stolen his heart in San Francisco just like her grandmother and had quickly wrapped him around her little finger.

"You're worried about her, aren't you Joe?" It was more of a statement than a question.

He wanted to deny it and just shrug it off as no big deal but stopped when he saw the love and concern in her expression, realizing it would be wrong to hide the truth from this wonderfully intelligent girl.

"I suppose I will always worry about her, I have for so long, it's just hard though when she won't let me help her. I know she is going through something right now, but I am afraid she insists on keeping it to herself." Joseph sighed and smiled sadly, glancing briefly back to the monitor that now showed an empty throne room.

"I know what you mean; I honestly don't know how she stays so strong and holds it all together all the time!" Mia replied wistfully as she gazed down at her hands, so unsure of herself at this moment.

"Is that what's bothering you, Princess?" Realizing just how hard Mia was being on herself as she tried to live up to becoming the new queen and all the expectations that were being placed upon her as she accepted this new role.

"Grandma is just so perfect, she always knows just what to say, just what to do no matter what the situation is. What if I can never be like that? What if I fail miserably and all of the people of Genovia end up hating me and think I am a terrible queen? I am so afraid of disappointing them, but even more than that I am afraid of disappointing her…and you. You have both worked so hard to make Genovia what it is and I don't want to mess that up! I don't want you both to feel like you wasted your time on me!" She spoke passionately, throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis and then dropping them into her lap and looking down.

Joseph had never been as touched by Mia's words as he was at that moment. "Mia?" He spoke as he gently lifted her chin hoping she would see the truth of his words. "Your grandmother and I both believe in you, we always have. She thinks you are ready to be queen and so do I. Just look what you did last week in abolishing that ridiculous marriage law?" He grinned. "If you weren't ready, you could never have done that. You got up there and spoke from your heart. You are a special young lady just like your grandmother, who in time will find your own way in handling things as a queen, you just need to have faith in yourself and let your decisions come from your heart.

A tear escaped down Mia's cheek, her hand coming up quickly to wipe it away. "That's exactly what she told me outside of the church when I was freaking out about marrying Andrew."

Joseph smiled. "She's a very wise lady sometimes, you know, must run in the family. Just don't tell her I said so or I'll never hear the end of it!" He winked.

"I won't, I promise." She smiled. "Thanks Joe!"

"Any time Princess!" He returned her smile and then suddenly cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the monitors as footsteps could be heard in the hall.

Mia got up to leave but then suddenly turned back. "Joe?" She called quietly to him again, regaining his attention.

"Yes Princess?" He replied.

"I'm not sure really what is going on with Grandma lately either, but I do know one thing for sure."

"And what is that Princess?" He asked.

"She's crazy about you, Joe! She's madly, head over heels in love with you!" Mia grinned cheekily.

"And just what makes you so sure about that?" He challenged playfully, unable to contain his delight.

Mia suddenly took on a very serious expression as she spoke. "Because every time she says your name, she blushes and her face lights up like she is on cloud nine. She gets excited and gives herself away because she starts talking really fast before she realizes what she is doing. She never did that before she married you, Joe." Then in a perfect imitation of Clarisse, she said. "And you know how Grandma always says that a queen must always be strong and remain in control of her emotions at all times in the public eye. Ha!" They both laughed audibly as Joseph stood and allowed Shades and Lionel who had just entered back to their posts.

"Gentlemen…I'll see the two of you later." Joseph murmured before placing his arm around Mia and heading out the door.

"Thanks Princess and thanks for being such a special grand daughter! Although….." He suddenly mused. "After tomorrow, I will no longer be able to call you Princess."

"Oh Joe!" Mia giggled. "You know you can always call me that, I won't mind, but you are the only person who can just as long as I can call you, Grandpa!" She added mischievously.

"I suppose it's a deal then, Princess." He let out a long dramatic playful sigh. "But you are the only one who can call me that, too."

"Deal!" Mia laughed.

To Be Continued……..


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to DameJules, NikNik4, nofearonlylove, and I luv Julie Andrews for all of your wonderful feedback! I appreciate it all so much! I just wanted to say that in this chapter, it sort of explains what is happening in Clarisse's dreams, the real coronation to make Mia queen, being the following day has not yet happened, that will be in Chp. 3. Initially I had written a very intense love scene here, but decided to leave it out and go heavy on the drama, but don't worry, if you like the romance, believe me there will be plenty in this story as I love writing romantic scenes, so I will save that intense love scene for a little bit later on. Keep reading and leaving feedback and please enjoy!

Chapter Two

Joseph laid there in the dark contemplating the day and all that had transpired with Mia and how proud he was of her, especially this evening when she had managed to shoot the flaming arrow and actually light the torch. He suspected that somehow Nicholas had something to do with that, he had seen Mia as she practiced and sometimes wondered if she would actually set the palace on fire, but then Nicholas had showed up and suddenly she was hitting her target. Joseph couldn't help but chuckle about how everyone in the palace had started mysteriously disappearing last week every time the Princess announced that she was ready to practice and the looks on the faces of her ladies maids when she insisted on trying it with the flaming arrows, they owed Nicholas for his help in more ways than one, he thought wryly.

Clarisse shifted a little and moaned softly in her sleep. She was spooned against Joseph's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He had sincerely hoped that at some point throughout their hectic day that Clarisse would have come to him and finally opened up about what was going on with her, instead as soon as he had escorted her back to their suite and they sat down together for a moment in the sitting room, she had leaned against him and fallen fast asleep as all of the exhaustion of the past few weeks had caught up to her. Carrying his precious burden gently to the bed, he carefully undressed her, only her undergarments remaining and quickly divesting himself of his own clothing without her ever stirring and quietly took her into his arms, pulling the covers up over them both. He would just have to try and be patient, Clarisse wasn't a person you could force into talking and he wouldn't do that any way, expressing her feelings had never come easily for her even now after all of these years. He just hoped that at some point soon she would talk to him, he couldn't stand seeing her in such turmoil and it broke his heart to watch her suffer.

_She felt as if she were in some sort of fog standing there as tears glistened in her eyes. Finally, Mia had done it! Her grand daughter was now the Queen of Genovia and Clarisse had never been as proud as she was at this moment. So many times over the course of the last few years and especially the last few weeks she had wondered if this would actually happen, if Mia would ever really be ready to take the throne. Last week though as she had watched her granddaughter stand up there in the church and move to abolish that ridiculous marriage law pertaining to present and future queens, Clarisse knew then that Mia was ready and would do very well as queen._

_She smiled as Joseph took his place at her side and they watch as Mia walked through the arm of swords. The haze was becoming thicker now and it was harder to see what was going on but she could hear Sebastian Motaz, the Prime Minister proudly belting out Genovia's national anthem and then as if it were in slow motion, she knew with dread what was going to happen next, as it happened in each of her dreams. A man carrying a pistol breaks through the crowd with several other men heavy in pursuit, he aims it straight at Mia, she feels Joseph brush her arm as he moves instantaneously to protect her grandchild. As a shot rings out, it narrowly misses Joseph and hits Nicholas in the back as he pushes past the former head of security, saving Mia as Nicholas falls against her, sending them both into a heap on the floor, followed by Mia's screams as she searches for her grandmother's face. _

_Clarisse is frozen, rooted to the spot. She watches as Joseph pulls the lad off of Mia and several people begin to gather around to help, her husband obviously checking the young queen over for injuries before Mia pulls away to get to Nicholas, blood staining the once beautiful and very elegant coronation ball gown. Still Clarisse is unable to move, for the first time in her life unable to set her emotions aside and take charge of the situation at hand, knowing what is coming next as she looks from her granddaughter's terrified face and back at the gunman whom Joseph and Shades now have pinned to the ground as all of security are running to bid her husband's charged commands. It is then that she sees what makes her heart lurch in her chest as all color abruptly drains from her face and she collapses into an unqueenly heap on the floor. One word escapes her lips before loosing all consciousness. "Rupert!"_

Clarisse bolted up out of bed, her heart beating wildly. Joseph instantly sat up, reaching for his wife as he took her back into his arms in an attempt to calm her. She frantically searched in the dark around her, the only dim light coming in through the window from the glow of the moon, she gasped for breath as she struggled against him.

"Clarisse! Look at me, Clarisse!" He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "It was only a dream, Sweetheart. You're safe. I'm here, I'm right here!" As he saw recognition dawn in her eyes, Joseph lovingly held her to his chest, rubbing her back soothingly as her breathing calmed and her struggles ceased.

"Oh Joseph!" She sobbed into his chest still trying to catch her breath as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "I feel as if I am loosing my mind!"

"It's going to be alright, my darling. Shhhhh." He soothed, whispering into her ear as he gently rocked his wife in his arms.

It was then that Clarisse realized that through every bad thing that had ever happened in her life since meeting Joseph that he had been her one constant source of strength, even after he disappeared for all of those years, he was still very much in her mind and heart and that gave her hope that one day she might see him again. In his arms she could always find the courage to face every situation, to even just be herself and not what every one else believed her to be. Sometimes with just a look or a touch, she'd suddenly have the reassurance she needed to do anything, and yet it was that same touch that left her breathless and wanting more, sending currents of electricity shooting down her spine.

She suddenly had this overwhelming need to reconnect with him body and soul. As she pulled back a little to look into his eyes, eyes that she so often lost herself in, she spoke in a mere whisper, her voice quivering. "Joseph, make love to me."

Startled by her sudden request, Joseph searched her eyes. "Clarisse, my darling, you know I would like nothing more than to love you right now, but don't you think we ought to talk about what's bothering you?"

She immediately tensed and moved out of his arms, but he grabbed her shoulders firmly with both of his strong hands, refusing to let her withdraw from him again.

"Just let me go, Joseph. Let me go." She couldn't stop the tears that were threatening to spill forth.

"Damn it, Clarisse." He shook her a little in his frustration. "You've got to talk to me, stop shutting me out! The problem obviously isn't going to just disappear." Then in a softer voice, almost a whisper, he pleaded. "I can't bear to see you suffering like this; please darling, let me help you." He couldn't help but notice as she seemed to be considering his words how small and frightened she suddenly looked.

She closed her eyes for a moment as the tears flowed freely down her face, taking a deep breath to steady herself, she whispered hoarsely with resolve. "All…all right. I'll tell you everything, but not now, in the morning, all right? I promise, I will tell you everything then." She knew there was no other way, she must tell him everything.

"If that is what you want, Clarisse, then I guess, I have no other choice but to wait." He sighed and then pulled her tightly to his chest.

As she reached for his hand and slowly brought it to her cheek, she whispered breathily. "I need to be with you, Joseph right here….now. Please, make love to me. I just need you so much! Please!"

He could see the pain in her eyes and wished with all of his heart that he could somehow take it all away. With his other hand he gently reached up and brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek. His eyes locking with hers, he began to place teasing gentle kisses to each of her eyelids and then to the tip of her nose. He then cautiously found her mouth and his lips slowly came down over hers.

She deepened the kiss almost instantly and clung to him, her hands at the nape of his neck, her mouth and tongue moving rhythmically with his. She wanted to loose herself in loving him and make everything else go away. In the morning she would have to tell him everything and risk loosing him once again. When he found out what she had kept from him for so many years, would he be able to forgive her and understand why she had kept it all a secret or would he hate her now and leave her forever this time? She couldn't bear to think of a life without Joseph, without his love and strength to get her through; she needed him like she needed air to breathe.

Their lovemaking was not slow and sensual like it had been in the past, but full of pure unadulterated need, hers because tomorrow she might loose him forever, and his because he desperately wanted to love her and take all of her pain and sadness away.

To Be Continued………….


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to Megan, nofearonlylove, Nikki, and DameJules for your encouraging reviews. I wanted to say a couple of things. First, as my 14 month old has been sick with a cold and has kept me up for most of the past 3 nights, I apologize if there are some errors in my editing as I was rushing to go ahead and post another chapter for you guys to read. Secondly, I do love writing cliffhangers as you can probably tell! LOL! Third, I chose for Joseph to have the last name of Ramirez because it means "wise protector" and that just seemed to fit! And last, if there is enough interest then I will try and get another chapter up tomorrow otherwise it may take me an extra day or two, depending on how much I rush and try to sleep. LOL Please enjoy!

Chapter Three

Clarisse shivered involuntarily in her husband's arms as she realized all too soon that morning had come and she would have to keep her promise to Joseph and divulge the secrets she had been holding onto all of this time. After they had made love last night and Joseph had finally drifted off to sleep, she had lain awake in his arms for hours, trying to put together in her mind what she would say to him this morning. Their lovemaking after her dream last night had not been slow and gentle, but wild and untamed as she had tried to loose herself in loving him. As if a damn had burst, all of their unbridled passion was released and they were like two wild animals trying to satisfy their hunger. They had soared together to that place of absolute pleasure where only the two of them could go and fallen completely over the edge, but as Joseph rolled them over and held her tightly against his chest and lovingly rubbed circles on her back as her body still quivered against him, telling her how much he loved her in the afterglow of their experience, Clarisse was unable to calm her racing heartbeat and began to suddenly gasp for breath as she clung to him. Joseph noticed immediately and had momentarily almost panicked before abruptly sitting her up, and after a several long moments of taking some deep breaths, she had finally managed to calm herself and reassure her husband that she was indeed alright. It was just that she had needed him so much; it was if the world around them had ceased to exist, and the only thing that mattered was their need to become one. It was the most intense encounter she had ever experienced in her life. What had possessed her to act that way with Joseph? She suddenly tensed and her face reddened as she wondered what he must think of her now.

"Clarisse darling?" Joseph spoke huskily as he woke, his warm breath on the back of her neck, sending a delicious shiver down her spine as he startled her from her thoughts. She lay wrapped in his arms as she so often did, spooned against his chest.

She was too nervous to speak so instead tightened her grip on his arms as they held her lovingly against his chest in reply, letting him know she had heard him.

"How are you feeling this morning, my love?" He whispered in her ear, placing feather light kisses to her neck and ear as he spoke.

Her voice faltered as she tried to give him some sort of answer. "Truthfully….more frightened than I….I…have ever been in my life."

"Clarisse?" He questioned. When she wouldn't answer and he felt a tear fall from her face onto his arm, he abruptly sat up, pulling her around in his arms to face him. Yet, though she didn't try to move out of his embrace, she sat stiffly, refusing to look up and meet his eyes, the tears now flowing freely down her face. He took her face in his hands and gently swiped at her tears with his thumbs before pulling her trembling body closer; holding her to him as he ever so gently began to sway slightly back and forth in an effort to soothe her. As her tears began to ebb some what, he tried again to get her to open up, knowing soon they would run out of time as the demands of their duties would once again be thrust upon them. "Clarisse, do you think we could talk now?"

The question she knew was sure to come and yet, she dreaded it with all of her heart, hoping that maybe he would somehow just forget. Pulling back and taking a deep breath, she quickly wiped the rest of her tears away, determination setting in her eyes as she tried to find the words to begin. "Joseph…..I am not at all sure even where to begin, but yes, we do need to talk or rather I need to try and tell you some things and hope to God you can somehow understand and forgive me."

Okay, that was not what he had expected. What could she have possibly done that she would ever need his forgiveness for and what did this have to do with the nightmares she had been having? A thousand questions began to run through his mind as he tried vainly to concentrate on what she was saying now, something about moving to the small couch in the other room, but before he could think further, they were interrupted by a series of incessant loud poundings on the sitting room door. Joseph sighed heavily as he realized he would have to answer it.

As he squeezed her shoulders slightly in regret and then threw on his robe to answer the door, his wife somewhat momentarily looking relieved for the interruption, headed for the bathroom to wash her face, put on her own robe, and again try to gather her thoughts.

After a while, Clarisse made her way to the sitting room and noticed Joseph as he closed the door behind him and appeared momentarily deep in thought, then turned quickly catching her eye.

"Joseph, what is it?" His expression very serious.

"Uhhh…Shades just informed me that one of his men….." He wasn't sure how much to tell her but knew there was no turning back now. "One of his men failed to show up this morning for duty and when he sent someone to check his suite, there was no one there and it looks as if this person just packed up his things and disappeared." He was about to ask her if they could try to talk a little later, maybe after the coronation or something, when he suddenly noted her very pale appearance and the slight shake of her hands.

"Clarisse?" He studied her face after rushing to her side. "Clarisse, are you alright? What is it?" He gently maneuvered her to the nearest chair, helping her to sit down.

"Oh Joseph!" She tried to still her trembling hands. "This will probably sound foolish, I'm sure it's just my nerves with Mia being crowned today and all, but I'm worried because in my dreams, something goes wrong and a man carrying a gun gets into the palace and tries to shoot at Mia." She purposely left off anything involving Rupert and hoped he wouldn't ask more questions, still though, she felt better mentioning that portion of her dream to him.

"There's nothing foolish about anything that causes you to worry, my darling, but if you think you will be alright here, I think we would both feel better if I went to help Shades get to the bottom of things." He reasoned as he took her nervous hands in both of his and kissed them.

"Yes, I suppose it would." She replied, looking down at her hands where he had just kissed them and giving him a weak but determined smile. Then putting her facade into place and squaring her shoulders, she added. "I'll be fine, Joseph, really. I have more than enough to do to get ready for Mia's coronation and I'm certain Charlotte will be here any moment wondering why I'm not yet dressed and sounding off a list of problems for me to handle." As if on cue, a gentle knock was heard and Charlotte's voice on the other side of the door requesting to speak with the queen. She gave him that "told you so" look over her shoulder and sent him a coy grin before tightening her robe and walking towards the door to greet Charlotte.

"Clarisse?" He said near her ear, as he grabbed her from behind by the waist, just before she reached it.

"Oh Joseph!" She gasped in surprise and then relaxed back in his arms once more for just a moment. The way he spoke her name making her temporarily forget all about Charlotte waiting for her at the door.

As he turned her around to face him, gently cupping her face in his hands, he needed to make sure that they would still have their talk later on. It was killing him that he had to go when he was certain that she really needed him to stay and they desperately needed to talk about so much, her words registering again in his mind about hoping he could understand and forgive her echoing and burning into his memory.

"I am so sorry that I have to leave you, my darling Clarisse, especially when you need me." He kissed her lips lightly and then trailed hot kisses over to her ear making her breathless.

"We'll talk right after the coronation?" It was more of a statement than a question and without waiting for her reply he softly kissed both of her eyelids and then placed another gentle teasing kiss to her lips, sucking lightly on her bottom lip. She moaned way back in her throat, so far gone at this point, she would have agreed to anything he asked of her.

"I love you so much, more and more each day!" He trailed little kisses down her jaw, then down the line of her throat. Clarisse pressed herself impossibly closer to him, completely lost in his touch and kisses and what he was doing to her.

"And there isn't anything that you can say to me that will make me not love you or want to be with you." She shivered uncontrollably and swallowed hard as their eyes locked and he moved back up to her tremulous lips, kissing her long and hard, deep with passion as she reciprocated his kiss, her hands at the nape of his neck.

Joseph finally broke the kiss, his head taking over as he remembered that Charlotte was waiting on the other side of that door and that Shades needed his help in finding the missing security man. "Darling?" He tried to gain her attention as they both tried to catch their breaths from the heated kiss. He felt Clarisse's hands tugging on the knot of his robe and he smiled.

"Uhhh Clarisse?" He reached down and grabbed her hands to still them.

She looked up at him, a question in her eyes, obviously having forgotten all about poor Charlotte waiting for her.

"Remember Darling, Charlotte is waiting for you at the door and I must go help Shades." The expression on her face was priceless as her cheeks flushed at the realization of what this man could make her do.

"Oh dear, Charlotte!" Her hand came up to her mouth in shock.

"It's okay, Clarisse!" He kissed her cheek. "And have I told you how beautiful you look when you blush?" He teased before slipping away to get ready and help Shades.

Somewhat flustered, Clarisse finally managed to open the door. "Good Morning, Charlotte. Come in. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"Not at all, your majesty!" She replied, trying to hide her faint smile.

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A little while later directly after the coronation…………..

Mia looked from her grandmother, who looked as if she had seen a ghost, to the man before her and then caught Joseph's stunned expression as her grandmother suddenly swayed, bringing Joseph out of his shock and rushing to Clarisse's side as she fell unconscious.

"Take the Queen to her rooms immediately and place Mr. Ramirez under arrest!" The man barked out authoritatively as if brooking no argument. Several members of the security team slowly came forward, looking from the man giving the orders and then to Joseph, unsure of what to do. "Now!" He barked.

Mia immediately snapped to attention as she took a long hard look at the strange and yet somehow familiar face, giving the orders, as some of the security began approaching her grandma and Joseph. "No…wait! You can't…..who are you?" Her voice trembled.

The man suddenly turned and stared straight into her eyes, causing her to immediately recognize who he was from the portrait that hung in the throne room. Just this morning she had stood there staring into those eyes in the portrait, telling her grandmother that her biggest fear today was tripping down the stairs in her dress and landing on her head at the bottom of the stairs. Now she had been shot at, Nicholas was hurt, her grandmother was unconscious, Joseph to be arrested, and the grandfather she believed to be dead standing before her, staring at her intently before speaking to her in a regal, very strong voice. "I am Eduard Stefan Rupert Renaldi, your grandfather, and King of Genovia.

To Be Continued………….


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to CJmynixMG, nofearonlylove, and I luv Julie Andrews for your reviews! Also an extra special thanks to nofearonlylove for pointing out how the story sort of jumped in the third chapter. Hopefully that is now taken care of somewhat and you will learn as the story unfolds more of what took place through the different views of the characters as the King made his appearance and where he has been all of this time, his past relationship with Clarisse as well as her secrets, who the reigning monarch will now be, and most importantly lots of loving between Joseph and Clarisse. Also it doesn't say in this chapter but will be dealt with later on but Nicholas is all right, bullet went through his shoulder and he was immediately rushed out as the scene now unfolds. Enjoy and please take time to leave a review if you are interested in reading more of the story! Thanks again! Gina

Chapter Four

A pen drop could have been heard as the air in the room stilled and the silence became deafening as the invited guests of Genovia took in what they had just witnessed, followed shortly by the roar of loud murmurs as the crowd began to talk amongst themselves hardly daring to believe that their King was alive and well and standing in their mist. Even the infamous Elsie Kentworthy and her news crew seemed at a momentary loss for words.

The Prime Minister, Sebastian Motaz was the first to recover enough and come to his senses, his duty taking over as he realized that this man, although his appearance was somewhat changed, was indeed "King Rupert" and in a loud voice but heavy heart he made his announcement. "His Majesty, King Rupert of Genovia!" In a slightly lower voice he added. "Welcome back, Your Majesty." His tone lacking any real warmth or emotion for his king, but still he bowed as did the entire room save for Mia and of course the unconscious Clarisse.

Charlotte moved subtly closer to Mia as she opened her mouth to speak but was cut off as the King suddenly turned from her as if he were dismissing her and walked towards Joseph, who was still holding onto Clarisse.

"Gaylord?" Rupert addressed the man by his side that had returned to the palace with him and had once been his royal head of security. Joseph recognized the man right away as the man who had hired and trained him years ago and was thought to have died along with the king.

"Yes, Your Majesty." The elder man came to attention.

"First, I'd like this room freed of all guests, then you will see to it that the Queen is indeed taken to her rooms and Mr. Ramirez taken into custody along with the gunman, and I want security posted at every exit until further notice". The gunman was pinned firmly to the floor, having been accosted earlier by Shades and several of the royal guards.

"Yes Sir, Your Majesty, right away." Gaylord had always been very fond of Joseph, but he had pledged his service to the king and the two of them had become sort of close throughout their captivity, well as close as a King and a Head of Security could be.

"And see to it that the entire palace is cleared immediately!" He demanded, taking control as the reporters tried to fight their way back into the room through the security.

Mia sprang into action as she watched the guards approaching Joseph, a look of shock and apology silently communicated through their eyes as they took Clarisse from him and started to put the Queen's former head of security under arrest. Joseph stared after Clarisse before turning his attention to the King, his eyes unflinching.

"Wait!" Mia struggled to keep her voice strong and even as she stared down the King. "As of today, I am now the Queen of Genovia and reigning monarch. You may take my grandmother to her suite, but Joseph will not be arrested and taken into custody!" She challenged the King, her eyes boring into his but speaking to the guards. Then directing her attention to Charlotte at her side, she spoke softly. "Ummm…Charlotte, would you mind going with them and seeing that she is all right?"

"Certainly, Your Majesty!" She wasn't at all sure that she should leave the young queen at the moment and hoped Clarisse wouldn't be too upset that she had. Years ago when she had first come to the palace as Clarisse's new aide she accidentally overheard a very private conversation between the King and Queen, Charlotte realized then just how much her Queen had given up for her country. Making her way up the stairs, she just hoped Mia knew what she was doing and that Joseph would be all right. Why did this have to happen now? Hadn't her Queen been through enough already?

"Prime Minister?" She called to Sebastian trying to sound regal and sure of herself.

"Yes, Your Majesty" He replied.

"I suggest a meeting with Parliament in one hour to discuss today's events and what happens now." Her knees were shaking, but she knew she had to somehow appear strong and take control of the situation. An hour would give her enough time to maybe at least speak to Charlotte and even more importantly, her grandmother, surely she would come around by then.

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Sebastian replied before bowing, suddenly feeling proud of the young queen as she attempted to take charge of things, Clarisse had done well with her granddaughter.

Mia took a chance and stole a quick glance back at the King, he was silent and his attention focused solely on one person as she was carried up the stairs to her suite.

Joseph felt like this was some sort of nightmare that he desperately hoped to awaken from and soon. He must see Clarisse!

"Joseph?" Mia interrupted his thoughts. "Would you come with me, please?" She asked softly.

That immediately got the King's attention. "You will have security with you from now on at all times and will stay inside the palace? Is that clear?" Rupert demanded.

For a brief moment, Mia thought she saw his eyes soften and then something akin to fear flash through the King's eyes, but he covered it so quickly that she wondered if she had seen it at all. Then in a gentler tone, the same voice he had often in times past used with Clarisse, he requested. "I'm asking you, please. I know your life to be in grave danger, I will explain everything in Parliament, but you must listen!" Then with one last look at his granddaughter, Philippe's only child, he turned and walked away, leaving Mia and Joseph staring after him.

"Oh God, Joseph!" The young queen let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding as she walked over and grabbed his arm. "I don't understand any of this, but let's go see Grandma, okay?"

"Yes Princess!" He replied as they both hastened up the stairs to see Clarisse.

To Be Continued………..


	5. Chapter 5

Many thanks to DameJules, Nikki, nofearonlylove, mainer2121, petriebird18, Prettycrazy, and Megan aka iluvjulieandrews for your kind reviews! Your feedback means a lot and really does help to encourage me in writing more. This weekend is pretty crazy, but I may be able to get at least one more chapter done and then it may be a few days before the next, but we'll see, you never know! This has been a very fun story to write so far, I have never written a PD fiction before, but am enjoying it immensely and have already come up with another storyline for another PD fiction after this one, so keep reading and hope you enjoy! As always, please, please, please leave feedback and tell me what you like or don't like in the story. Gina

Chapter Five

Joseph hovered over her attempting to bring his wife out of unconsciousness. "Clarisse darling, wake up! You have to wake up now, Sweetheart!". He pleaded softly as he lovingly caressed the side of her face.

For some reason she did not want to open her eyes for fear that her dream might still be out there, but that voice, she would do anything that voice commanded of her and it was telling her to wake up.

She gingerly opened her eyes expecting to be in her bed, lying in Joseph's arms, but instead she found herself laying on her couch in her sitting room, three pairs of anxious eyes watching her intently as she began to come around. She felt like her mind was in some sort of fog that wouldn't quite lift just yet and it kept trying to pull her back in, she was so tired and her eyelids felt so heavy.

"Hello Beautiful! The sound of his voice again causing her to struggle harder against the fog to see his face, her eyes fluttered open. Joseph gave her a small smile which she quickly returned as her hand went to her forehead in confusion.

"Grandma, are you all right?" Mia blurted out anxiously, falling to her knees next to Joseph. He was sitting on the edge of the couch leaning over his wife, relieved that she was finally coming around.

Charlotte stood rigidly behind the young queen as she too was anxious about her former queen and wondered how they would ever handle the situation now at hand.

"Grandma?" Mia tried again.

"Yes Dear. I am quite fine." Clarisse assured her granddaughter as well as trying to assure herself as she reached out and patted Mia's hand which covered her other one.

None of the three were buying this bit of her being fine, she could see it in their faces. Giving up, she gave a small sigh and a slight smile.

"Honestly, I am feeling a bit confused. Would one of you care to explain to me exactly how I got here and what is going on?"

She noticed all three of them simultaneously tense as each looked from one to the other. It suddenly all came crashing back to her with a blinding vengeance, making her gasp for breath with the realization that this was no bad dream but reality, her hands flew to her mouth in shock.

"Clarisse?" Joseph was already pulling her into a tight embrace, what little color she had started to regain before was now completely gone.

"Rup…Rupert's really alive….and…and…here now." She stammered out, knowing the truth already.

"Yes Darling." Joseph simply replied, pulling back a little to look in her eyes as it all began to really sink in.

Remembering the rest of her dream, she suddenly chocked out in a panic. "Oh my God, Mia. Are you all right?" She eyed her carefully.

"I'm fine, Grandma." Her granddaughter reassured, struggling as Clarisse hugged her fiercely, and then pulled back.

"Nicholas? What about young Lord Devereux? Where is he?" Mia wondered how she could possibly know about what happened to Nicholas, no one had told her yet.

"He's fine too, Grandma. A man shot at me but missed because Nicholas stepped in front of me to save me, but it turned out that it was only a flesh wound through the shoulder, he's resting in a room here in the palace. But Grandma, why did you ask about him like that and me?" Mia questioned clearly confused.

Clarisse looked unnerved at this question, caught off guard and she suddenly shivered noticeably. Joseph pulled her again into his arms, realizing that this must have been the nightmares she had been having. He suddenly felt his wife stiffen in his arms as she pulled away and wiped at the tears now threatening to fall from her eyes. Then straightening her composure, she knew what she had to do.

"Joseph, I'd like to get up now. I need to go speak with Rupert and then call a meeting with Parliament." She was suddenly all business and her tone sounded clipped and very detached as she moved to get up.

"Mia has already taken care of calling the meeting with Parliament, Clarisse." The young queen nodded in agreement as Joseph spoke. "And as far as speaking with Rupert, we will both go to see him together."

Clarisse glanced briefly at Mia before refocusing her gaze on her husband who stood in front of her. "I wish to speak to Rupert alone before Parliament is in session." Unable to hold his gaze any longer after she spoke, she quickly dropped her eyes to the floor and held her breath as she waited for him to reply.

Charlotte who had never been one to question her Queen before, quickly intervened before Joseph had a chance to say anything to his wife. "Your Majesty, are you certain that is the wisest decision? Wouldn't it be better to have Joseph go with you?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she had touched a nerve with Clarisse, the former queen shot her a sharp look that did not go unnoticed by Mia.

"I won't let you go alone, Clarisse. Let me come with you, please." He stepped closer to his wife and took her hands in his. She still wouldn't look him in the eye, it was as if she were trying to hide something from him.

"Uhhh…Joseph? I'm not sure you should see him again at all." Mia interrupted. "Joe, why did he want to have you arrested anyway?" Mia questioned him.

Joseph felt Clarisse's hands tremble in his as she gasped out loud at this latest bit of information. Finally looking up into her husband's eyes, she tried to take in what was being said. "He tried to arrest you? Why? What happened? How come you are here then?" The questions just came bursting forth.

"Because I wouldn't let him, Grandma! I did what I figured you would want me to do. There was no way I was gonna let him send Joe anywhere!" Clarisse looked at her granddaughter bewildered.

"It's true Clarisse. You should have seen her!" Joseph said with pride as he went on to tell Clarisse exactly how Mia had stood up to Rupert.

"My Darling Mia, you never cease to amaze me!" Clarisse was overcome with emotion at the thought that her Mia had saved Joseph from being arrested or worse, but was also angry with herself for "loosing it" for the first time in the public eye. Elsie Kentworthy must have loved it, the former queen of Genovia lay collapsed in a dreadful heap on the floor as the new queen of Genovia took complete charge! It was a sort of bittersweet feeling she had about it. "Thank you, sweetheart for saving Joseph!" She said squeezing her granddaughter's hand.

"Yes, thank you, Princess!" Joseph reiterated sincerely. Charlotte smiled to herself also proud of the young queen, who had very quickly grown on her from the very beginning.

"Joseph?" Clarisse turned her eyes back to her husband's face. "I do need to speak with Rupert alone. I have to find out what is going on and what his intentions are toward the crown. I think I have the best chance of getting him to share this information if I go to him alone." She reasoned.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Clarisse! Besides, Parliament will be in session in roughly about half an hour now," He replied, glancing at his watch. "And I was hoping that we could have a moment alone to talk about a few things." He knew before she answered that she had already made up her mind about this and there was no changing Clarisse 's mind once she had it set on something, but he didn't have to like it.

"Well if I only have half an hour left, then I best be going." She included all three of them in her glance as she walked towards the door and took a deep breath, before turning the knob.

"But how will you know where to find him, Grandma?" Mia asked.

"I have an idea of where he might be." She really dreaded this and it was taking all the courage she had not to run back into the safety of Joseph's arms, but she had to do this for Mia, for the people of Genovia, but mostly for she and Joseph. She knew her husband was upset that she insisted on speaking with Rupert alone, but she just couldn't explain everything just yet, she must find out what Rupert's intentions were first and hope by some miracle that he was more like the Rupert she had first married and not the man he had become later on..

"Oh Dear Charlotte." She suddenly spoke aloud unconsciously as she remembered just how much she had confided in her aide over the years as Charlotte had accidentally been privy once to a very private argument between Rupert and herself and since that time Clarisse had known she could trust this woman and had on occasion, well more than she ever had anyone other than Joseph.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Charlotte's heart was in her eyes as she looked at her former queen and friend.

"Thank you for your concern earlier and for many other things as well." She tried to convey to her aide without giving herself away to Mia and Joseph that she appreciated her keeping her confidence on the private things she knew as she cast her a grateful glance.

"I will see you in Parliament, Mia?" She spoke to her granddaughter.

"Wouldn't miss it, Grandma." The young queen replied.

Turning her attention one last time to Joseph, she looked deep into his eyes as if asking for his forgiveness and reassurance at the same time. For a moment he simply searched her eyes as well as if looking for some hidden answer, but then realizing she needed his strength, he let all of his love for her shine through. She felt a delightful shiver run down her spine and cupped his cheek with her hand before squaring her shoulders as the facade of the queen fell back into place and she slipped out the door.

Joseph too, left the two ladies remaining in the room and gave strict instructions to the guards outside of the suite about Mia's safety before heading down to the security room to try and monitor what was happening between his wife and the King. He would be there to protect her one way or another, he vowed to himself.

Back in Clarisse's suite as soon as Joseph had walked out the door, Mia turned to Charlotte. "Spill Charlotte! I know, you know something, now please, tell me what it is!"

To Be Continued………..


	6. Chapter 6

So many thanks to Nikki, mainer2121, nofearonlylove, Prettycrazy, and I luv Julie Andrews for the reviews. I was so touched that I just had to go ahead and write another chapter for you and post it! I apologize that it still doesn't give away any secrets yet, but I promise the next few chapters most definitely will! It's just a lot of ground to cover in order to get there. LOL I have opened a forum on here about the story, so I can hear from you guys and I can give you updates on what is happening in the story, also if you have questions or want to see something specific written you can let me know. I think you are all going to be quite surprised as you will see, the plot keeps on thickening, just when you think you have it all figured out! LOL Any guesses on what the secrets could be and who all has one? As always leave me a review and please enjoy! Gina

Chapter Six

"I don't understand, Your Majesty. What makes you think I know anything more than yourself?" Charlotte replied, carefully averting her gaze.

"Because I know you, Charlotte. Back when I thought I'd spend the rest of my life being invisible, I used to watch people and learned to read them pretty well. You are definitely not a very good liar, you know. You can't even look me in the eye right now, and when you 're hiding something, you always do that." Mia insisted, folding her arms across her chest as she eyed the young woman. "So what gives?"

"You're right, Your Majesty!" Charlotte sighed. "I've been told that before actually." She whispered almost to herself, remembering the ball in San Francisco, five years earlier when she had tried to tell Queen Clarisse that everything was fine when Mia was actually missing.

"Well, don't loose sleep over it or anything, Charlotte. There are worse things to be than a bad liar, you know." The young queen gently teased.

"You're right, Your Majesty." Charlotte replied with a grin, finally meeting Mia's eyes with her own.

"Charlotte please, I told you, please drop the "Your Majesty" bit when we 're alone, I feel like you 're talking to Grandma instead of me. It's just as bad as "Your Heiness". Mia exaggerated, making a face and throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis.

"I understand, Your….. I mean Mia." Replied Charlotte.

"Now, I really need for you to tell me what you know about Grandma." Mia was getting frustrated as she realized they really didn't have much time left.

"Your Majesty….I mean, Mia, as much as I would love to tell you, I can't do that! I would be betraying Her Majesty's confidence. Surely you can understand." She was really starting to feel very perplexed about the whole thing.

"But Charlotte, how am I supposed to go into Parliament and help Grandma at all if I have no clue what's really going on. She keeps so much about herself private, always avoiding most questions I've asked her in the past that I guess she thought were too personal, but this time I have to know. I am the Queen now and she needs my help, not to mention, Joseph!" She could tell she had struck a cord with Charlotte.

"Well, what do you know of the Queen and King's marriage?" The young woman turned it around.

"All I know is that when Grandma had to tell me that Parliament was trying to get me to agree to an arranged marriage, you know with Andrew?" Mia paused, thinking back. "I had suddenly realized before she said it that an arranged marriage was exactly what Parliament was forcing me to do and I asked her, "What kind of person agrees to an arranged marriage?"

She looked at the family portrait in the throne room and just smiled at me. That's when I knew that she had agreed to one. She said it had turned out quite splendidly, she was very fond of Rupert and he had been her best friend, but that hardly seems what I witnessed today. What do you think?" She asked, turning to Charlotte.

"I think…I think that it's time I gave you something that might just help you understand a lot about their relationship." Charlotte replied nervously. "You know, this job means everything to me, it is my whole life, not because of the job itself, but because of the people I work for." Charlotte responded passionately. "But I would rather have to give it up than to ever betray "Her Majesty" or you." She added softly, tears forming in her eyes.

"You're not betraying either of us though, Charlotte. Sometimes it's more important to tell what you know even if you have to break your word, if it means that that person could be in danger." Mia reasoned.

"What makes you think that your grandmother is in any sort of trouble?" She truly wondered at how intuitive Mia could be at times, especially as young as she was.

"I don't really know how to explain it really, Charlotte. It's just a feeling I have, just like right before Mom told me that Grandma wanted to have tea with me five years ago." She laughed. "I just know it!"

Just then Charlotte's cell phone could be heard. It was Shades, the meeting with Parliament had been postponed for another two hours by non other than the King.

On her way to the throne room…………..

Clarisse walked down the long corridor knowing exactly where Rupert would be. How she knew, she wasn't quite sure, just a very strong feeling she had. What would she say to him? Where had he been all of this time? What would happen to all of them now? His anger towards her and Joseph, would she be able to handle it this time? So many questions running through her mind almost making her dizzy. Her stomach suddenly lurched as she reached the door of the throne room. Unable to go through that door just yet, she walked right past it, not even noticing the guards or their curios looks as they stared after her. Unable to go any further for fear of someone seeing her in this state, she ducked into a nearby alcove to hide herself from view before silently falling to her knees as she clutched her stomach tightly.

Back in the control room…………..

The minute Joseph had entered the control room, Shades had asked him a hundred questions. Not understanding much of everything himself, Joseph answered the best way he knew how. "Not now Shades, just get the hell out of my way!"

"Yes Sir!" The first in command answered, his feelings clearly hurt by the man he considered to be his friend and former boss.

Joseph immediately made his way over to the monitors to check on Clarisse. "Shades, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I owe you an apology. I do apologize, my friend." Joseph said contritely while glancing back at his friend.

"Forget it. Just tell me what I can do to help you." He replied, coming to Joseph's side.

Slapping his friend on the back in appreciation, Joseph responded. "Just help me keep an eye on her, Shades. I must keep them both safe, they are my family now. If anything ever happened to Clarisse or Mia…." He shuddered to think what he would do without either of them in his life.

"Nothing will happen to them, Joe. If anyone can keep them safe, it's you. Plus you've always got me to watch your back…well…and Lionel!" He grinned. "Seriously though, there isn't one guard here that wouldn't lay down his life for either of the Queens or you." He stated sincerely.

Before Joe could respond, they both stopped short as they noticed Clarisse walking towards the throne room and then right past it before ducking out of sight. "Where the hell did she go?" Joe vented, pounding the table with his fist in frustration.

Hiding in the alcove………….

She tried hard to pull herself together, she had always prided herself on her ability to do that, but this was different. Straightening herself up and taking a deep breath, she stood to her feet. She had to get mentally prepared, she had to do this for Mia, for Joseph, for her country. She tried vainly to think about what she would say to him. She couldn't be weak in front of him, she had to appear strong no matter what. She had already lost that battle once today, she wouldn't let it happen again. Why was her mind suddenly betraying her? Why did it keep going back to the one day she had spent years trying to pretend never happened? "I can do this!" She said out loud to herself. "I have got to do this! Just pull yourself together, Clarisse. Don't think about the past, just focus on finding out what he is up to."

Squaring her shoulders with a firm resolve, she moved out of the alcove. "It's now or never!" She thought to herself. With determination in her stride, she was soon back in front of the throne room. Taking another deep breath, she motioned to the guards that she was ready to enter.

As they opened the doors and she walked inside, Rupert was indeed there just as she knew he would be, gazing intently at their family portrait just as she had done the day before. Without turning around, he spoke. "Hello Clarisse, I've been waiting for you."


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to CJmynixMG, JoolsIsGreat, Prettycrazy, Nikki, I luv Julie Andrews, DameJules, mainer2121, and nofearonlylove for your wonderful reviews! They are so encouraging and really help me to keep on writing and not get distracted! This is a pretty long chapter and one of many that will be quite revealing. So enjoy and please let me know what you think. If you care to leave a message on the forum, just click on my name and then on to forums. Thanks, Gina

Chapter Seven

"Charlotte, can he do that?" The young queen asked her aide, clearly irritated that the King, grandfather or not, had gone behind her back and changed her plans.

"Honestly Mia, I'm not sure about anything. I don't think Genovia has ever been faced with a situation such as this before. I guess in the end it will be left up to Parliament to make the final decision as to who will be on the throne and rule because technically he never stopped being the King." Charlotte noticed the panic slowly rising up the young woman's face as she spoke, but figured it was best she be prepared for the worst.

"I just can't believe this!" Mia threw her hands in the air and flopped down on the couch unceremoniously. "How could this have happened? First I almost lost my crown to Nicholas…thank God he is the kind of man he is, but now, I might loose it to my own grandfather…I have no idea what kind of man he really is." She spoke quietly to herself.

"I'm so sorry, Mia!" I just figured you needed to hear the truth, no matter how hard it might be." Charlotte apologized.

"You're right, I did, but now I have to figure out where to go from here. I'll be so glad to talk to Grandma when she gets back." Mia sighed loudly.

"Speaking of which…." Charlotte started and walked towards the door. "I'll go get that something that I spoke of earlier for you. Do you want to wait in here in case Her Majesty returns?"

"Yeah, I do. I want to check on Nicholas too, but I want to speak with Grandma first, I think!" Mia replied. "Charlotte, what is it that you are getting exactly?"

Turning back around to face the young queen, she tried to explain. "Well it's a journal that was kept by your grandmother's ladies maid, she was with Her Majesty before she moved into the palace and was sent for later on when she became pregnant with Price Pierre. It tells all about the Queen and her life when she was young and her marriage to the King. I thought it might be of help to you now." She finished.

"But Charlotte?" Mia looked up as a smile tugged at her lips. "How did you come to have this journal and how do you know what's in it?"

Charlotte's face immediately fell and reddened considerably. "Uh…the reason is because when Marie passed away, she left the journal to me knowing how much I cared about Her Majesty and made me promise that I would always look after her. She thought I should know the whole story and what a truly wonderful person our Queen really is." The aide blushed.

"It's because of what you know that you aren't telling me, isn't it?" Mia questioned with considerable thought.

"Yes!" Charlotte sighed. "I overheard a conversation that I should not have been privy too, but in a way, I'm glad I did, otherwise I may have never really known Her Majesty as a friend. Anyway, after that, I went to Marie, truly upset over what I had heard. We became very close after that, the Queen, Marie, and myself and I truly began to understand what your grandmother had to give up for her country. She is the strongest woman I have ever known!" She stated emphatically.

"No wonder I have always liked you so much! Thanks Charlotte. Grandma and I are so lucky to have you. I'm glad to know you will always be here for us and I'm glad Grandma had you even back then!" Declared Mia.

At this, the aide had to wipe away the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. "As am I, Your Majesty!" She replied. "Now I will go get that journal and check on Lord Devereux for you. I shall leave it for you in your top desk drawer."

"Thanks Charlotte so much…. Oh….and Charlotte?" Mia called out as her aide halted once more. "It's good to know that I am not the only snoop around here." She winked, causing Charlotte to drop her jaw.

In the throne room………

She couldn't speak, no words would come from her lips as she made her way to stand beside him. What is wrong with me, she thought to herself and took a deep breath?

He softly traced the outline of her face in the picture with the tip of his finger before turning his eyes upon her and smiled. "Clarisse, you still manage to take my breath away." He gasped. "Even after all of these years."

"Rupert don't, please." She finally found her voice. She had become very uncomfortable with the way he was staring into her eyes.

"Clarisse, you must know, your beautiful face is the only thing that has kept me going all of these years, hoping that one day we would be together again. I've never stopped loving you, never!" He breathed, reaching down to softly touch her face, but she instantly jerked away from his touch.

For a moment, she saw anger and jealousy flash across his face before he was able to cover it. "Rupert we don't have much time before Parliament is in session. Would you care to explain where you've been and why you are here now?" She spoke very business like.

"Before I explain anything, you should know we have plenty of time, I took the liberty of postponing the meeting with Parliament for a few hours to give us a chance to talk first." He said matter of factly. "We have much to talk about, would you not agree?" He circled around her with his hands clasped firmly behind his back as he spoke.

How was it that he was still able to do that? Able to make her feel like a child who didn't quite know her place. "Yes Rupert, of course I would agree." She responded quietly as he stood facing her again. He had always had a way of trying to control her emotions and make her feel as if because she was a woman she was unable to think for herself. She hated that so much. There had been times in the past when he was happy with her and he would encourage her and let her have a say in important things, but for the most part, he had only expected her to be beautiful and charming and not worry herself with political things. Those same devastating feelings came over her, causing her to be unsure of herself somewhat.

Suddenly, she felt it. She knew Joseph was watching her on the security camera. She felt him as if he had touched her, sending her his strength and courage. A surge of warmth went through her body and she felt awash with his love and presence as if he were right there beside her. She turned briefly towards the camera and smiled slightly, letting him know she had felt it.

"My Dear?" Rupert interrupted her thoughts. "Are you still feeling unwell? You are looking quite flushed at the moment. Perhaps we should take a seat to discuss matters." He indicated towards the steps below the throne as he placed his hand at the small of her back to guide her over.

"I am very well, I assure you Rupert." She responded, stepping away from his touch and walking towards the steps to sit down. "I admit I was a bit shocked by your sudden appearance earlier, after all I, along with the rest of Genovia had believed you to be dead all of this time, but I can assure you, I have fully recovered and have actually never been better." She gazed back at him, defiance clearly written in her eyes.

"Well, my dear, I am pleased that my return has not caused you any lasting distress and that you are better than ever. That is good news." He retorted, sitting far closer to her on the steps than he should have.

Clarisse moved away slightly so that they were no longer touching. "Rupert, enough talk about my health, could we please just get on with it?" She was getting irritated again and he knew it, he always knew how to press her buttons.

"Of course, my dear, I do apologize." His expression impassive. "To begin with I'll start with where I have been the past 6 years. When Genovia One crashed into those mountains, it was done so deliberately. You know that the Viscount Mabry, myself, Gaylord and three of his men were on board along with both of the pilots?"

She silently nodded her head in response and drew a deep breath, so he continued.

"Apparently, even though the three security agents had top clearance, they worked for Mabry. They knew exactly what they were doing and when to do it. At first I had no idea where we were being taken or who was really behind it. I believed Mabry to be a victim just like myself. It wasn't until about 6 months after the kidnapping when Philippe showed up that I learned the truth." He added that last part quietly and looked into her eyes.

"Wait a minute. What? When Philippe showed up? Philippe was there?" The questions rolling off her tongue so fast she could scarcely breathe.

"Yes Clarisse." He responded taking her hand in his. She was too stunned to pull away, not even noticing that he now held her hand firmly in his. "He was duped into thinking that he could help me. Mabry wanted him to renounce his role as the crown prince, to make it official before the public, so the Von Trokens, whom he is in cahoots with could claim the throne."

"I don't understand, Rupert. What are you telling me?" There were tears already pricking her eyes as her chest tightened, dreading what he would say next.

"They soon discovered that Philippe had a daughter. They didn't know where she was but that there was another heir to the Genovian throne." A tear escaped her eyes and before she realized what was happening he gently wiped it away with his thumb.

"How did they find out about Mia?" She questioned, her breaths coming harder and faster.

"They found out because when they searched Philippe's car they found a journal and a letter which slipped out, there was no mistaking that it was written by him to his child." He was finding it even more difficult to tell her this than he had imagined, pain etched in his every word.

"Oh God!" Clarisse uttered as a sob escaped her throat "And then?" She choked out, looking him directly in the eye.

Rupert gasped at the terror he saw reflected in her eyes, almost taking his breath away. He held her trembling hand tighter and softly rubbed his thumb across her knuckles, still she did not pull away. "And then they killed him." His own eyes clouded over with sorrow and anger for what had happened to his son. "Philippe and I had managed to get away, we were tearing down the road in his car. Gaylord had helped to create a diversion thus aiding in our escape, I had really thought it would work. Philippe insisted on driving, saying he could manage the car better than I. We were immediately followed, it started raining and we were going very fast around a curve, they were right on our tail. We hit a huge puddle of water and skidded out of control, going through the guard rail and down the embankment. The car rolled twice, causing Philippe to injure his back and head, I believe his back was broken along with my arm and leg." He gestured with his other hand to her, his eyes full of tears now as well.

She sat watching him, unable to move or speak, so he continued to tell her what happened.

"I crawled over to him, he was bleeding everywhere. He couldn't move and he said he couldn't feel his legs. I pulled his head into my lap and just held him there stroking his hair like you used to do when he was little. He asked me to tell you that he loved you and that no son could have ever had a greater or more loving mother than you." He smiled through his tears at Clarisse.

She tried to smile back but she felt so numb inside and lost.

"Then he told me he had been able to grab the journal for Amelia along with the letter. He asked me to make sure she got it so she would know how much her father loved her and to make certain that no matter what, she would be safe. He made me promise, and then as soon as I did, he closed his eyes and just simply stopped breathing."

A heart wrenching sob tore from her throat as Rupert pulled her into his arms, both parents weeping for the loss of their son.

Suddenly Clarisse felt as though she couldn't breathe, the air closing in around her, painfully so. She had to get out of this room, away from Rupert, she wanted to run, to scream, she just had to get out! With a force that shocked Rupert to his core, she pulled away and out of his arms, running to the doors and throwing them open, bypassing the guards as they immediately reacted alarmed but stopped as the King commanded them to let her go, she tore through the palace and out the terrace doors to her garden and kept on running until she collapsed to her knees from pure exhaustion. She leaned over, clutching her stomach as her sobs came harder and harder.

Finally as her sobs seemed to lesson somewhat and her stomach lurched violently, she cried out brokenly. "Joseph, where are you? I need you, I need you!"

"I'm here, Clarisse." She heard a voice say, before her world suddenly went black and she felt herself being lifted and carried away in familiar, yet very strong arms.

To Be Continued…………..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Thanks so much to Nikki, Prettycrazy, DameJules, nofearonlylove, I luv Julie Andrews, mainer2121, and Shakayla for your wonderful reviews. When I start to feel a little discouraged in writing a chapter, I go back and read your reviews and then I gain inspiration to continue! They really do mean a lot! I will try and have another chapter written and posted tomorrow evening! As always…Enjoy and leave me feedback! Gina

**Warning: This chapter may be disturbing, it contains sexual violence, although I tried to keep it as toned down as possible. Really difficult chapter to write!**

Rupert bolted up from his chair, his body drenched in sweat, whether from the dream he just had or from the morphine, he could not be certain. Sitting back down and holding his head in his hands, he realized he was certain of one thing, he had to have Clarisse and he would find a way to get her back and then Joseph Ramirez would pay for ever having taken her from him.

He sat in the darkness of his room lost in the emotions of his dream as it brought him back to that day. He could remember exactly how he felt and why, but the rest only came back to him in bits and pieces…………………………

_She had refused to see him, to even leave her rooms in well over a week, it was making him crazy. He thought he had been extremely fair to her considering her indiscretion with Joseph Ramirez, her body guard and his second in command. If he had not loved her so, he could have made things so much harder for the two of them. Instead all that he had demanded of them was for Ramirez to leave at once and he would consider the whole incident forgotten._

_It wasn't the affair itself that bothered him so much, after all he had had many beautiful women over the years, although none captivated him the way she did. She would walk into a room and every head would turn mesmerized by the power of her beauty. Everyone flocking for her attention or just to be near her. He had seen it before, men who would look at her with want and lust in their eyes, her desirous attraction was undeniable. _

_No, what bothered him and made his blood boil was that she seemed to return Ramirez's attentions. Never before had she shone any interest in the offers of men that were constantly thrust upon her. Why had she succumbed to this man's charms? It drove him to sheer madness! The way they would look at each either, the glances full of longing, the secretive smiles they shared when they thought no one was paying attention, the touch that lasted just a little too long; he had noticed it all, or rather Mabry had and brought it to his attention. Then the excuses came as to why he couldn't share her bed, his wife. He was King, no one refused him, especially not his own wife! He had always treated her like the Queen that she was, even allowing her to have her way in political matters every now and then to humor her. _

_He had always hoped in the beginning of their marriage that given time she would learn to love him as he did her, but that was never the case, for when he made love to her, he could tell that her body tensed, she never seemed to relax and enjoy it as he did, it was more like she was just performing a duty, there was no love or passion about her when it came to loving him, and yet he knew that somewhere deep inside of her that a fire burned. Why couldn't it burn for him? He worshipped the ground she walked on, gave her everything a woman could want, after all, he had made her his queen. _

_Now, here she was pining away for some lowly security guard. How dare she? She was the Queen, his Queen! The more he thought about Clarisse with that low life, the angrier he felt. He'd make her forget about Ramirez and see that she could love him and if not then he'd just force her to love him. She'd never think about being with another man ever again._

_He was beginning to shake violently as he realized he needed more of the morphine again. This was her fault all of it, he cursed to himself. Why can't she just love me, instead of constantly taunting me with her beauty? _

_He sent the guards to escort his wife to his rooms, pacing the floor like a caged animal as he waited impatiently for her arrival. He was getting angrier by the minute, she should have been here by now. He could tell he was starting to feel high from the morphine again and the whiskey he had taken to drinking these past few weeks since discovering his wife's little indiscretion wasn't helping, but he didn't care. His mind began to feel all fuzzy and his head began to swim._

_Upon her arrival all he could now feel was a deep seeded bitterness that seemed to gnaw away at him, mocking him as if she had played him for some kind of fool. He could no longer think straight. Then suddenly he heard her speak._

"_It's rather late, Rupert. Is there something so important that we needed to discuss which required you to send the guards for me at this late hour?" She asked impatiently._

_He staggered around to face her at the sound of her voice, his leering gaze noticeably falling on her chest as it rapidly rose and fell with each heavy breath she took. She was dressed in her robe and he assumed a night gown beneath it. She abruptly took hold of both top sides of her robe and pulled them together tighter so that nothing could be seen._

_Suddenly his mind registered what she had just said to him and he snapped. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he shook her violently with the force of his rage. "How dare you speak to me that way!" The next thing he knew he felt a stinging pain surge through his hand as Clarisse lay on the floor. For a moment she didn't move. There was a little blood on her head from hitting the bedpost as she fell and a bruise starting to form on her face from the blow of his hand. He heard her moan and trying to steady himself, he knelt down over her and tried pull her up._

"_Don't touch me!" She choked out in a hoarse whisper, quickly pulling away from him as she struggled to sit up on her own, before reaching a hand up to check her injury._

_Those three words set him off again, in lightening speed she was pinned down to the floor as he straddled her body, his vice like grip on her jaw as he stared hard into her frightened eyes. "Rupert, please let me go, you're hurting me!" She cried._

_He could not hear her though as all of his pent up rage dangerously came to the surface. He remembered her body trembling under his as he took her again and again. He vaguely registered her tears or the words coming from her mouth begging him not to do this. "You belong to me, Clarisse! I can have you whenever and wherever I want!" He slurred in her ear. "Forget about him, do you hear me, or I will destroy you both!" The only thing he remembered after that was waking up on the floor to find her gone, her torn nightgown crumbled beneath the bed the only evidence of her ever having been there._

Sometimes he still wondered if it had all just really been a dream, a terrible dream. Had he really been capable of doing such a thing to his beloved Clarisse? He had always adored her and treated her with extreme gentleness until that night, it was just the thought of her with another man that made him crazy, still did! He had to find a way to get her back.

This afternoon in the throne room, he had allowed himself a small moment of hope as she had openly cried in his arms as he gave her the real details that surrounded the death of their youngest son. He still had not been able to tell her everything before she had broken down and allowed him to comfort her. Of course some things she could never know especially his actions in what had taken place, no one must ever know. He would place all of the blame on Mabry and the Von Trokens and they would pay for abducting their King and causing Philippe's death. His youngest son had always been a good lad and would have made an exceptional king. The truth about how he died would come out. He wished to God they had never involved Philippe, oh how he had prayed that day that somehow Philippe wouldn't follow Mabry's instructions and therefore go on as everyone else thinking that his father had died in the plane crash some 9 months before, but it was not to be for fate was cruel. At least he had been able to keep the promise he had made to his son as he laid there dying in his arms. So far Amelia was safe. She looked so much like her father but there was something more to her, she had Clarisse's fire and stubbornness in her eyes, that much was certain.

Ah Clarisse! His thought always came back to her. He had hidden in the shadows after she ran from the palace about to go to her when he heard her cry out for Ramirez again and almost instantly the man appeared and carried her off. With a great amount of self restraint, he stayed hidden and later returned to his rooms. Ramirez was no better than Mabry lusting after and stealing his wife, but first things first, he had a plan and he had every intention of following it through and then he and Clarisse would be alone together again at last and help Amelia become Genovia's finest queen.

To Be Continued…………………………


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks so much to Nikki, Shakayla, mainer2121, Prettycrazy, nofearonlylove, and I luv Julie Andrews for your reviews! They so make me want to keep writing! This chapter is centered around Clarisse and Mia, but Chp. 10 will center around Clarisse and Joseph after he carried her off! So those of you who need a C&J fix, that will be the one to read! I may even try and put a "sneak peak excerpt" on the forum this evening, so keep checking back! As always enjoy and please take time to leave a review! Oh and in my version of the story Clarisse was about 55 yrs. old when she came to SF, and of course 60 when she married Joseph, and then Rupert is 10 or 12 yrs. older than Clarisse. I did it that way so Rupert wasn't exactly ancient! LOL Gina

Chapter Nine

When Charlotte had come to inform the young queen that the King had yet again put off the meeting with Parliament until the following morning, Mia was fuming. Not only that, but her Grandma and Joseph seemed to have disappeared and no one including Charlotte knew where they were. Aside from that, she had not had a moment of privacy since Charlotte had left her earlier in her Grandmother's suite, every where she went all eyes were upon her, watching her every move, never had security been so tight or annoying. She had had to say goodbye to Nicholas, another thing she could thank Rupert for since apparently he thought it best that Nicholas stay in a hospital until he could make a full recovery. Added to all of that, then there were the sad tearful goodbyes as her mother, Patrick, Trevor and Lily all had to return to America. Lily was still on scholarship in graduate school at Berkley, and was torn about whether to return or whether to stay with her best friend. In the end Mia convinced her that she shouldn't give up her scholarship, even though Lily promised to return if she needed her for anything, that nothing would stop her from coming back, not even if hell froze over. Mia's mom, on the other hand, had absolutely refused to leave her daughter at all, saying that Patrick could go ahead and return to teach his classes without her for a while until things settled down in the palace, but then he reminded her that in just three days was the opening of her first ever public art display at a very prestigious gallery in Los Angeles. Mia was not about to let her mother miss that after so many years of hard work and not getting recognized as an artist. So after her mother completely broke down in tears and fussed for some time over her, Mia thought maybe it might just be the hormones from having Trevor kicking in, she finally convinced her mother that she should go and that she would be just fine and would call her as often as possible. So here she was in her suite alone, having only pushed the food around on her plate during dinner for one.

What a day this had turned out to be! Never in her wildest dreams had she expected her coronation to become Queen to end up like this! It had all started out so beautifully this morning, her grandmother reassuring her that she was indeed ready to take the throne and telling her how proud she was of the woman she had become. Their much treasured conversation forever imprinted in Mia's heart………..

"_I always thought that some day I would have loved to have been blessed with a daughter, but I was wrong!" Clarisse spoke, looking into her granddaughter's eyes as she brushed a stray hair out of Mia's face, gently smoothing it back._

"_You were?" Mia replied, not sure where her grandmother was going with this._

"_Yes, because I can't imagine a greater blessing or loving a daughter more than I love you, My Mia!" She smiled, her eyes shining._

"_Oh Grandma, I love you too!" Instantly she was engulfed in her grandmother's arms, both women trying to fight the tears, threatening to fall._

_Finally both women pulled back in an effort to compose themselves. "You know Grandma? When you first came to San Francisco and told me I was a Princess, I was so angry at you. Partly because I knew my life was about to dramatically change, but mostly because I had spent my whole life wishing I could have known my father and you. I thought during all of that time that you didn't care about me or want me in your life. I felt ignored and hurt, even though I knew you existed somewhere, halfway around the world." Mia gave her grandmother a soft smile as she wiped away another stray tear with the back of her hand._

"_I know you did, darling and I am so sorry for that. I truly wish I could have had you in my life from the very beginning. When your parents made their decision, they thought they were doing the best thing for you, I had to respect it whether I agreed with it or not, but not one day went by that I did not think about you and wonder what you were like. Every year during the week of your birthday, your father and I would go searching for just the right present for you, sometimes it would take hours or even days to find just the perfect gift. It became a sort of tradition, both of us full of excitement and anticipation, eager in our search for the one gift that would let you know how loved you were." Clarisse explained lovingly._

"_So which one of you picked out my beautiful carousel I love so much?" Mia wondered._

"_Well we both did. We were walking through this little shop in France, when both of us just stopped and looked at it. Instantly, we knew that that was the gift for you!" Clarisse put her arm around her granddaughter's waist as they began to walk together towards the throne room. Then Charlotte showed up whisking her grandmother away, so not wanting to be alone, she went to get Fat Louie and returned to the throne room, wondering if she would indeed make a good queen and then Nicholas showed up. She had secretly hoped that somehow he would, but was surprised none the less when he did and then that kiss, that wonderful foot popping kiss! _

So how did it all end up like it did, her worrying and now pacing in her room? Oh, this was no good, she had to get her mind off of all of this. Reaching her desk again she suddenly remembered the journal that Charlotte had left in her desk drawer. Taking it out, she decided to sit down and skim through it, maybe it would take her mind off of her immediate troubles and help her understand everything better. Turning to the first entry, she began to read………

July 1952

_I have now been gainfully employed in the Gerard household going on 3 months. I can truly say I have never been happier anywhere. Although Mr. Gerard seems rather strict with his wife and daughter, it is easy to see that he truly adores them. The Mrs., a small frail little thing, but pretty has the sweetest, kindest soul I have ever seen, so gentle and warm, but I fear that carrying her second child has taken its toll on her already weak heart. She has been confined to her bed throughout the remainder of her pregnancy. I just hope she survives. The little girl, Clarisse or "Rissie" for short, is like the sunbeam on a cloudy day with her bright blue eyes glowing with mischief, her long blonde braids, her constant wonder and chatter-such a joy to be around. She has a heart as big as the whole world, that she does. It's hard to believe that this bright, sweet, spunky little girl will some day marry the crown prince, who is around 20 yrs. now I think, and later become the Queen of my country. This same little girl, who to the dismay of her father, is often caught climbing trees and singing her heart out, when she's not worrying and fussing over her mother, hopping from foot to foot asking what her new baby brother will be like. I feel so blessed to be with this delightful family and hope that I can truly be of some help to them, having never had a family of my own._

Mia sat the journal down for a moment and smiled to herself, thinking of her regal, refined, elegant grandmother as a little girl singing and climbing trees.

To Be Continued……….


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to Prettycrazy, mainer2121, Nikki, Shakayla, I luv Julie Andrews, and nofearonlylove again for your faithful reviews! Sorry I didn't get the excerpt posted on the forum, ended up watching the Northern Lights dance across the sky last night as hubby and I sat out on our upper deck with blankets. What a majestic thing to witness, so phenomenal! Anyways, hope you enjoy, lots more C& J coming up in next few chapters as well, and as always, please leave me a review! Thanks, Gina

**This chapter comes with a mild warning for a few things that might be disturbing to some!**

Chapter Ten

Her desperate words kept reiterating through his mind. "Joseph, where are you? I need you! I need you!"

He wasn't sure what had happened to her. All he knew was when he saw her run from Rupert in the throne room, he had to get to her, for he could feel her desperation as it gripped coldly at his heart.

What could Rupert have said to her that would have reduced her to this? He truly wished he could have heard what was being said in that room, unfortunately the cameras provided no audio.

He had watched her as she had struggled in the hallway as if she were terrified of going in and then again as Rupert had circled around her, he could see the unnerved look in her eyes and closed his eyes, concentrating all of his energy on her alone, willing her to feel his love and strength, and then when he reopened his eyes and stared back into the monitor and she smiled at him, he knew then without a doubt that she had felt him. They had a connection that few people would ever know or understand. It was as if they shared two halves of the same soul and could feel at times what the other was feeling, no words were necessary.

He supposed this was the reason why in the beginning of their relation before they understood or declared their love for one another that the intensity of their emotions would terrify them both. They had instantly become friends able to talk about anything and everything as they would stroll along through the gardens, it was when they actually touched that sparks of electricity would fly between them almost spiraling out of control. Joseph knew he had never felt that way before about anyone, sure he had dated, even occasionally been with a woman, but never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined that something like this were possible. Sometimes with just a certain look, his heart would start racing and his body would feel as if it were on fire, which made it difficult considering he was her bodyguard and she the Queen, not to mention married to someone else. Those were the worst and best days of his life. Best because he had met the love of his life, his soul mate, but worst because he could never have her, or so he had thought.

She was shifting again in her sleep and murmuring incoherent words, she had been doing that since he had brought her to the summer cottage, located deep in the woods but still on the palace grounds, she laid nestled in his arms, in front of a roaring fire. Joseph sat with his back against the couch, pillows and blankets laid all around them as he held her close and whispered soothing words in her ears until she settled back down quietly, continuing on in a restless sleep.

He was glad he had asked Shades, before leaving the control room, to meet him in the stables. There he had carried his wife in his arms as Shades met him with a readied horse so he could whisk her away to this place that held such special memories for them both. He gave careful instructions to his friend to only tell Charlotte and Mia where they had gone and to only contact them if it were an emergency, he did not want them to be disturbed. Then as he gently handed over his precious burden to Shades, he mounted his horse, then took her back into his arms and rode steadily away. She had only woken once when they had arrived and he had sat her down to take care of the horse and then to get the fire going in the cottage, she had woken up clearly startled, almost in a panic as she called for him. He was immediately by her side reassuring her that he was there and not about to leave her. That seemed to relax her somewhat as she drifted back off into a fitful sleep. Every now and then he would whisper loving words into her ear or smooth her hair back and kiss her lightly on her forehead. Even in her sleep she clung to him like a frightened child needing his warmth to keep her safe.

She was dreaming again. _Joseph was standing there like he was rooted to the spot, anger evident in his face and voice. She tried to grab hold of his hand, but he pulled away as if she had burnt him with her touch. The next thing she knew Rupert was grabbing and pushing her into a car. She screamed for Joseph to help her, to not let Rupert take her away, she pounded on the back window of the car with her fists trying to gain his attention, but he just stared at her unseeing, as if he were looking right through her, then suddenly their eyes met, but all she could see in them was an unforgiving coldness that tore at her heart. The car lurched forward with insurmountable speed, a faceless driver carrying them far away, leaving her heart, her only love behind in the vast distance. She could feel Rupert's weight on top of her, smothering her as she begged him not to do this. She couldn't breathe, he was laughing at her and she wanted to scream as she felt him roughly grope her body as he moved to her breast and cruelly bit down on her nipple, causing her to cry out in pain. She could smell the whiskey on his breath and fought the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake her. Then she could feel the car suddenly go off the road with great speed, almost as if they were flying through the air as the car seemed to tumble over and over down the steep embankment before finally crashing into the ravine. She was crawling around outside the wreckage trying to see if anyone else was alive, when she noticed something familiar catch her eye. It was the diary she and Philippe had purchased together for Amelia's 16th birthday. The gold lock on it with the two heart shapes which matched the gold locket given to her by her grandmother so long ago glittering in the sunlight. Suddenly she knew, rushing to the driver, she frantically tried to turn him over. As she reached his face, she screamed as she saw the blood running down Philippe's face, gushing from a wound on his head. His body suddenly felt so cold and lifeless as if he had been dead for some time. She sobbed hysterically holding onto his dead body, deep guttural sobs that wracked her body from deep within. Rupert was pulling her away from her soon, her baby. "Noooooo!" She screamed. "I won't leave him!" All of a sudden a searing hot pain shot through her stomach, making her double over as she fought to breathe. She was alone, so alone. "Joseph…. Joseph, where are you?" She sobbed. The pain was unbearable, almost blinding her with it's intensity as she lay there on the ground, curled into a ball, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as she struggled through the pain, writhing back and forth on the hard ground. Then she felt it, the warm sticky liquid as it slowly trickled down her legs, staining her skirt as it seeped into the ground beneath her. "Oh God, NOOOOOOOO!" She screamed._

"Clarisse…. Clarisse, wake up! It was just a dream, darling, just a dream!" Joseph pulled her up abruptly, she was still in his arms as he tried to calm his wife. She was shaking violently and her skin was all wet and clammy against his own.

"Clarisse, you have to breathe darling, it's okay, just try and take a breath. I'm here, I'm right here, it's alright." She was really scaring the hell out of him. He felt more determined than ever to get to the bottom of all of this.

He could finally feel her beginning to relax as he kept whispering soothing words in her ear while softly rubbing her back, but then suddenly she lurched forward.

"Sick." She struggled to speak, her face paling miserably. "I am going to be sick!" She covered her mouth with her hands as the nausea overtook her. Joseph shot up and quickly lifted her into his arms and brought her into the bathroom, setting her down on the floor as she bent over the toilet and violently began to empty the contents of her stomach.

Joseph soaked a towel and draped it over the back of her neck before wetting a cloth and handing it to his wife to wipe her mouth. "Feeling any better?" He asked quietly.

"A little." She replied weakly, still leaning heavily over the toilet bowl.

After a while, her color slowly began to return, but she was still very weak and leaned heavily on Joseph, his arms supporting her as they walked gingerly back to the floor in front of the fire. Gently setting her down, he resumed his former position and took her back into his arms. "Do you feel like talking about it?" He asked gently.

"I…I can't! Not yet anyway!" She stammered out quietly.

"Clarisse?" He tried to reason with her.

But she cut him off as a sob escaped her throat. How could he force her to talk about it when she was obviously this distraught about it? Letting out a long sigh, he held her tighter. "Try to sleep then." He replied, wiping away her tears.

"I ….I can't do that either! I'm afraid that if I close my eyes again, I'll dream! I don't want to dream!" Her eyes looked hollowed from the pain radiating in them.

His chest suddenly felt tight as he felt her pain flowing through him. "What can I do, Clarisse? I'd do anything to take away your pain, tell me!"

"Just talk to me, Joseph!" She whispered quietly.

"What would you like to talk about?" He replied, tilting her face to his and looking into her eyes.

"Tell me about when you first fell in love with me!" She breathed, finally meeting his gaze.

To Be Continued…………


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks so much to CJmynixMG, mainer2121, Shakayla, nofearonlylove, Nikki, I luv Julie Andrews, Prettycrazy, petriebird18, OSUSprinks, and QueenJewels for your encouraging words and reviews! And a special, special, special thanks to Prettycrazy for helping me edit this chapter and hopefully more in the future and for just being such a sweet encouraging person; I've enjoyed chatting with you so much! Okay, this chapter is a little short but Chp. 12 will be much longer as it reverts back to Clarisse and Joseph! Still lots more surprises in store and secrets to be revealed! As always please review and enjoy! Thanks, Gina

Chapter Eleven

Mia set the journal face down on the couch beside her and then went to stand at the window gazing out. Charlotte had just come to tell her that her grandmother and Joseph were alright but had decided to stay in the summer cottage located somewhere on the palace grounds and that this information should be kept to herself. She couldn't help but feel that there was something more going on here since they had suddenly decided to go to the cottage and without even saying a word to her regarding Parliament or anything. She was certain her grandmother must realize that she was going out of her mind by now. Why else would she have left her alone and gone off with Joseph without a word?

Sighing deeply, Mia returned to the couch in her sitting room and flopped back down. She picked up the journal again and turned a few pages until a particular entry caught her eye.

August 1952

_Christoph Algernon Pearce Gerard entered the world today, 9 lbs.1 ounce healthy little baby boy. I only wish that his mother were doing as well as he seems to be doing. She had a difficult time giving birth, many times I wondered if she would survive it! For 18 hours she lay there writhing in pain, finally they were able to turn the baby and he was born moments later. Although her heart is weak, she has an inner strength that seems to pull her through. What an extraordinary family they have proven to be so far! I do believe I absolutely adore them! Especially little Rissie as I watch her with her new little brother. She is like a little mother to him, that one. _

She closed the journal for a moment and sighed to herself. She couldn't help but think of her own new little baby brother and how much she wished she could be more a part of his life, but that was hard to do when one lived half way around the world. She knew how much babies grew and changed from day to day, he'd probably grow up and not even recognize his own big sister. Mia knew she was feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn't help it right now. She wiped the tear away that had managed to roll down her cheek and skimmed through until another passage caught her eye.

June 1959

_Mrs. Gerard seems to be weakening, although she tries so hard to hide it! Mr. Gerard continues to sit on in Parliament and attending events he is expected to be at, but it's easy to see his heart is no longer in it as his wife's health continues to deteriorate, making it impossible for her to attend any of the balls or even leave her bed any more. Rissie has grown into quite a beautiful young woman, turning the head of every young man that crosses her path. She is 15 yrs. of age now and will soon be leaving to attend a very prestigious finishing school, where she will prepare for her upcoming marriage to the crown prince. She confided in me that this is not what she wishes for her life, but it has already been decided for her and she could never disappoint her parents, that child is always putting the needs of others before her own; she will make a very fine princess. Young Christoph is very upset with his sister and does not want her to go away to school. I think it may be the hardest on him for the two of them have always been so close to each other and he simply adores Rissie! He has tried everything he can think of to get her not to go, even so much went down to play by the railroad tracks knowing that would get him a tongue-lashing from his sister and maybe even a licking from his father, but anything to get Rissie's attention so she won't leave him. Poor child, he already looks so lost! _

_I feel so sad for this family I have come to care so much about in such a short space of time. If only Mrs. Gerard would go ahead and allow herself to be put on the list for a heart transplant, she won't though not until her daughter is wed to the crown prince, she fears if word got out that she has a weak heart then it could hurt Rissie's engagement. She can't see that it is killing Mr. Gerard when he has to tell people that she is vacationing alone to different places, such as this month I think it's supposed to be the South of France. That man would do anything for his wife, but I can see the fear of loosing her taking its toll on them all._

Mia couldn't put the journal down. For so long she had wanted to know more about this strong woman who had come into her life like a whirlwind and yet had given her so much, more than she could ever have dreamed of. Now, here she was suddenly able to learn so much more about the woman behind the crown. Not only that but about her great grandparents as well. How difficult it must have been for her grandmother to leave her sick mother and little brother behind at 15 yrs. and go off to some finishing school, and here she was feeling sorry for herself, at least she had her family and knew they were well. She just had to keep reading……….

May 1962

_Well, Rissie is all grown up now, she just turned 18 today. She is absolutely beautiful inside and out. I feel as though she is sort of the daughter I never had! She has changed so much in the last few years, no longer the carefree mischievous young girl I once knew. The finishing school was a big part of that, I suppose, but what really changed us all and brought such a deep sadness on this once happy household was the death of little Christoph. I fear it has hit Rissie the hardest. Just last year she had come home for Christmas break and Christoph had been so excited that she was coming, for a solid month before he had marked off every day on his calendar as he counted down to her arrival. When she arrived home though, she had very little time to spend with the boy; as it were she was expected to attend the Grand Ball where the King would announce to the country of the engagement of his son, Prince Rupert to the daughter of the Prime Minister, Lady Clarisse Gerard. She was invited to stay at the palace and spend time with the crown prince. I suppose I am the only one who knew that she hated this being forced upon her. She does not want this marriage, she tells me she dreams of love not some match with the prince. Money and titles have never been important to her, but she will do what is expected of her for she would never dream of disrespecting her parents or her country. It is easy to see, at least for me, the sadness that envelopes her, how her smile never quite reaches her eyes, the empty lost looks. She is afraid for her mother, afraid of loosing her, but still she does what is expected of her. She has never once mentioned her brother's name since his death, she has yet to shed one tear, I think the guilt is too much for her. When I tried to bring it up, it was as if she became a completely different person shut off from everyone and everything, as if she had suddenly slipped a mask into place to protect herself. I truly worry for her and miss her laughter._

_Mr. Gerard keeps on doing his duty, I think for the sake of his daughter, but he seems only the shell of the man I once knew for Mrs. Gerard's heart is rapidly failing. I sometimes wonder if I should let Clarisse know the truth about how much worse her mother's health has become, but I am under the strictest of orders not to say a word for nothing can come before her engagement to the Prince._

"Oh my God!" Mia sighed loudly. "I can't believe he died! I've never even heard her mention him before." The young queen suddenly noticed something peculiar and scanned the entry a second time, before setting the book down, deep in thought.

"It doesn't say how he died, only that Grandma felt so guilty. I have to know how he died. I wonder if Charlotte knows." Mia quietly rambled to herself. Before she could change her mind, she picked up the phone and called for Charlotte, asking her to meet her right away in her suite.

To Be Continued………………………..


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Thanks to Nikki, I luv Julie Andrews, OSUSprinks , nofearonlylove, and Prettycrazy for your wonderful reviews! And again a very special thanks to Prettycrazy for all of your help on editing this chapter! I must warn you that this is sort of a half chapter even though it is pretty long, I am working as fast as I can on the other half which I guess I will just have as chp. 13. This was not meant to be a cliffhanger, believe it or not! LOLOL I was actually going to wait and post after I got the other part written, but by special request I was convinced that no tomatoes would be thrown at me if I would go ahead and post this portion! LOLOL I will try my hardest to post the 2nd part before going to bed tonight, but we'll just have to see how it goes! As always, please take the time to review and enjoy! Thanks, Gina

Chapter Twelve

"The first time I fell in love with you?" Joseph questioned, wondering to himself if he should really tell her.

"Yes, the very first time." She reiterated, laying her head against his chest.

"Well, that would have to have been when I was staying in Genovia for the first time in 62 with a friend and turned on the television and there you were with the crown prince on the palace balcony as they announced your engagement. I couldn't tear my eyes away from your beautiful face." Joseph began as he absently traced soft circles down her back.

"Really?" She lifted her head for a moment to look into his eyes.

"Mmm hmmm." Joseph replied tenderly. "You were just so utterly beautiful and I thought my heart would just leap right out of my chest, but what really captivated me was the look in your eyes."

"What look?" She couldn't help but let her mind wander back to that day so many years ago.

"It was a look of great sadness, like you were lost, but resigned to it." He whispered. "I couldn't look away, I remember thinking how I wish I could take you in my arms and make all of your pain go away somehow. Then I felt really foolish for having such crazy thoughts." He revealed.

"But they weren't crazy and you did make my pain go away." Clarisse replied lovingly.

"Not all of it, my love. I wish to God that I could, I would give anything to take away the pain you are in right now!" As soon as he had spoken the words, he felt her immediately tense in his arms, so he decided to drop it and go on with his story.

"Then about a month later, when I saw you again on television marching down the aisle to get married, I couldn't help but think that you reminded me of a deer when it is caught in headlights." He spoke softly, resuming his tender ministrations up and down her back.

The tension had eased somewhat but she remained silent, so he continued on. I remember closing my eyes and seeing your face and feeling this overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I kept thinking to myself, "Don't do it! Don't marry him; you deserve to marry someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved!" He continued on failing to notice that she had suddenly frozen and her look, a one of shock. "Then my friend walked in and suddenly I realized how foolish I must have looked, not to mention how ridiculous I felt."

"Those…..those…. words!" Clarisse sputtered turning and staring at him sharply. "I remember those words. I felt them, it was almost as if someone were saying them to me as I walked down the aisle, but then I ignored them as my father escorted me to Rupert and smiled down at me, I knew I couldn't disappoint him. That's absurd though, isn't it Joseph? I mean, I couldn't have heard you then, we hadn't even met yet." She whispered softly, a question in her eyes, not daring to believe what she already knew in her heart to be true.

"I think you already know the answer to that, my love! When two people love each other as much as you and I do and share the same spirit, is it so hard to believe that we could share the same thoughts, the same feelings even without having physically met one another yet?" He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes.

"I know that at times I have felt your presence so strongly and yet had not physically seen you there yet and sometimes I have often wondered about your uncanny ability to read my thoughts or recognize my feelings or know what I needed before I knew what I needed. It just boggles the mind to know such a thing is possible, but I believe, no I KNOW with all of my heart that it is true of us." She finished, gazing lovingly into her husband's eyes.

He brushed his lips over hers, amazed at what this woman, his wife, had just said. He had known for a long time that they were soul mates, but to hear the words come from her lips, it was just so overpowering. He deepened the kiss until they were both pulling back and gasping for breath.

Realizing that if Clarisse was ever going to completely heal from the past, she would have to open up about so many things she had buried deep down inside of her. Maybe now, with this realization, she'd be able to share more of herself with him. Over the years he had been able to pull a little from her here and there, but getting Clarisse to talk about her feelings, especially painful ones, was never an easy thing.

"So tell me…" He decided to try, "Why such a terrible hopeless feeling on your wedding day? I mean, I know you never loved him, but why such fear?" By the look on her face he was afraid that maybe he had pushed her too far, but then she spoke as if she had detached herself from the situation and she were now speaking about someone else.

"I had been staying at the palace on and off for the last few weeks at the Queen's insistence. She and I spent quite a lot of time together, not all of it good." She began. "The night before my wedding, I couldn't get Christoph out of my mind, I dreamt of him reaching out for me, needing me, but I couldn't get to him." She shuddered, as Joseph tightened his hold around his wife. He knew about her younger brother Christoph and his tragic untimely death, the day she had openly mourned in his arms for the boy had been a huge milestone in their relationship. He mentally shook himself and tried to focus on what she was sharing with him right now.

"I thought perhaps it was just the stress of getting married the next day and my nerves bothering me so I decided to leave my room and go in search of Rupert, hoping maybe he could allay some of my uneasiness." She wrung her hands together a little nervously, before continuing her story. "At the time, I had come to consider him a dear friend even if I was being forced into marrying him, he was very kind to me and we did seem to get on well together, he even sometimes made me laugh." She started to explain.

Joseph understood and nodded lovingly. She owed him no explanation.

"Anyway, knowing my way fairly well around the palace now, it was easy to find his rooms. I knocked quietly on his bedroom door after entering through his sitting room. I could see a dim light shining under the door and figured he must still be awake, but immediately froze at the sound of the noises I could suddenly hear. I was so embarrassed, so humiliated as I cracked the door open a little and peeked in. Never had I expected to find what I did." She suddenly paused as her face began to redden with the memory.

"You see, Joseph…you have to understand…I had never been with a man before, never even seen a man undressed and here I was witnessing the man I was supposed to marry the next day having relations with another woman. I was…was…so shocked!" She haltingly explained.

I must have started crying and went running out as fast as I could from his rooms, not watching where I was going and ran right into the Queen almost knocking her down."

"No wonder, you had such sadness and heartbreak in your eyes!" Joseph breathed tightening his hold around his wife, allowing her to cry freely for the things she had once suffered.

After a few moments, she wiped away the last tear and continued on." The Queen quickly walked me back to my rooms looking even harsher than she had at the State Dinner party when I knocked over a suite of armor and ruined the dinner."

"You did what?" Joseph asked incredulously.

"Well, I had just returned home from school and was expected to attend the state dinner with my father, but I was just so nervous. When Rupert entered the room and kissed my hand, I accidentally bumped into the suite of armor standing behind me, causing the spear to fly right through the sup puling pig." She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face at the memory of that incident. "I remember the Queen's eyes looked as though they were going to pop right out of her head."

Joseph laughed with her, picturing a young nervous Clarisse at her first state dinner party. "It's just so hard to imagine you, so poised and graceful, knocking over a suite of armor of all things. It reminds me so much of poor Mia and her first state dinner in San Francisco."

"Mmmm…..Mia seemed so upset that next day after her fiasco, she thought I would be angry at her so I told her about what had happened to me at mine, although I'm not so certain she believed me."

"Well it is hard to imagine you being anything other than perfect and regal!" He said, softly kissing her lips.

"I think you are just a little biased, my love!" She managed to retort between kisses.

It was good to see her smiling again even if it was only for a fleeting moment, but he knew that what she really needed right now was to get all of this out in the open, no more bottling it up deep down inside, she had spent too many years having to do that. With all of the strength he possessed, he forced himself to suddenly pull back and break their heated kiss. However, she reached out and pulled his head back to hers, her mouth closing over his, her tongue seeking and finding his. All coherent thoughts flew right out of his head at this, the things this woman did to him!

When they finally did pull apart it was to pause for breath, he could see so much desire in her eyes. This was going to be harder than he thought; reaching out with his thumb he traced her warm swollen lips. "So what did you and the Queen end up talking about?"

"Who…what….talking about?" Clarisse struggled to focus on what Joseph was saying. "Oh…ummm…." She took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "You really want me to share this with you, now?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes, I would, my love. Is that alright with you?" He replied a little sheepishly.

"All…alright, for you, I would do anything!" She declared, staring into his eyes.

"Then tell me." He smiled, caressing the side of her face lovingly.

She reached up, touching his hand with hers and placed a soft kiss to his palm, her eyes never leaving his. A deep sigh escaped her lips as her mind drifted back to her conversation with the Queen the night before she was to marry Rupert………..

To Be Continued………….


	13. Chapter 13

Thank so much again to Shakayla, Prettycrazy, nofearonlylove, and Nikki for your reviews. I'm sorry I couldn't get this chapter posted last night, my daughter got sick and well that was that! Anyway, I warn you that Chapter 14 which I am now working on will be extremely steamy, to say the least, and I'm going to be really mean about this one, if you want to read it then please take time to review, if enough people will do that then I will post tonight, otherwise you faithful people who are nice enough to review can have it emailed to you and the rest of you will just have to wait! LOLOL Oh, and thanks again to Prettycrazy for all of your help, and hey, it's all her fault that I stopped on this chapter where I did, but please no throwing tomatoes at either of us! LOLOL Enjoy! Thanks, Gina

Chapter Thirteen

"_Oh…Your Majesty…I am so sorry…please forgive me!" Clarisse apologized profusely to her monarch and Queen. "I did not see you there…are you alright? Oh…how clumsy of me!" She rambled on awkwardly, completely embarrassed at her own behavior._

_The Queen gave her a harsh look, taking in the sight of the young disheveled girl that would marry her son the following day. She had always liked the Prime Minister and his family, but considering that this child was betrothed to the crown prince, she had always felt that the girl lacked enough self discipline and was far too outspoken at times. Maybe in time, she could change all of that. _

"_Come, my dear." She spoke to the girl. "I will walk you back to your rooms and then we will have a little chat, you and I." Her voice sounded very formal and stuffy, Clarisse thought, but nodded and followed obediently._

_Upon entering the small parlor that joined the guest room Clarisse was to occupy until she and Rupert returned from their honeymoon, the Queen sat down on one of the sofas and motioned for Clarisse to do the same._

_Clarisse suddenly became very aware of the fact that she was still clad in only her nightgown and robe and had been roaming the halls in this state. Surely the Queen would not approve of such a thing and to have been caught running out of Rupert's room, what must she think of her? She nervously chewed on her bottom lip and stared down at her hands unable to meet the Queen's questioning gaze._

_After studying the girl for a few moments, realizing what must have happened, she came to a decision. "Clarisse, my dear, we are going to speak of this one time and one time only, then you will put it from your mind and never question it or think on it again. Am I making myself clear?" She demanded, staring at the young girl intently._

"_Yes…yes Your Majesty!" Clarisse managed to reply. "I do so apologize for my inappropriate attire, you see, I had a dream….and was feeling rather nervous…and had hoped that maybe Rupert….." She trailed off realizing that this was all coming out wrong if the look on the Queen's face was anything to go by._

"_Come now, my dear. Let's not pretend not to know the real reason you were running away upset from my son's rooms." Clarisse froze at this and stared wide eyed at the woman._

"_My dear, I know you are young but surely you are not naïve enough to think that you would always be the only woman in Rupert's life." Clarisse couldn't form any words as she sat there astonished at what the Queen was saying to her._

_The girl's silence and flabbergasted looks were beginning to annoy her. "Clarisse…." She decided to try again and get straight to the point. "You have no idea what it is like to rule a country, the pressures and strains that are thrust upon you every day of your life. As a royal, we try to take that pressure in stride, but there are times when a man especially one that is a royal has to seek comfort in any way he can. As the wife of a King or even the Crown Prince, it is our duty to accept this. Surely you have been taught about such things?" The Queen asked exasperated._

_When the girl still did not answer, she decided to try another tactic. "My dear, why I'm sure with your mother traveling abroad as much as she does that even your own father, our beloved prime minister, even finds comfort in the arms of another at times."_

_Clarisse opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it again, biting her tongue to keep from saying something she knew she would regret as anger flashed dangerously in her eyes at the words and implications of her Queen._

_The Queen smiled snidely as she rested her hand on the girl's shoulder. "You must see that Rupert does care for you deeply, I'm sure. You have been chosen for such an honorable position to serve our great nation, why there isn't a single girl in all of Genovia that would not trade places with you in a heartbeat. You must realize that, my dear." The woman explained haughtily._

"_I do realize that, Your Majesty!" Clarisse swallowed hard. "I had just hoped that at some point the two of us might grow to maybe love each other."_

"_Love. That is a child's fairytale, my dear. At least he cares for you; it is time you grew up and accepted the life you were destined for." A far away look crossed over into the Queen's eyes momentarily before she quickly covered it up. "Besides, a good match is much more enduring than love. You will go on to be Queen some day and your children heirs to the throne, what more could you want?"_

_Clarisse breathed deeply trying to take in all that the Queen had just told her. "I am truly honored to be marrying your son, Your Majesty and I have been taught that nothing is more important than the duty I have to my country." She declared shakily but firmly, realizing that at this point she had no other choice and must resign herself to this, after all, this was her life; she must learn to embrace it._

"_Very well then, my dear, now that we have that settled, we must move on to what is expected of you as a royal." Clarisse looked up sharply at the Queen._

"_What happened in the hall out there, your behavior, was unacceptable!" She reprimanded sternly. "As a royal, you will be constantly scrutinized in the public eye. Even here in the palace, things have a tendency to get out. We have managed to avoid any sort of public scandal for a great many years and I insist that you keep it that way, anything less is intolerable."_

_Shocked, Clarisse quickly interrupted. "Your Majesty, I would never intentionally try to draw attention to myself or cause trouble for the royal family, you must know that!" She was very near tears._

_The Queen put her hands up to silence the girl. "Please, my dear, allow me to finish." Clarisse nodded slowly._

"_As a royal, one must be in charge of their emotions at all times. We have a responsibility to our people to show them we are strong, capable, and in control. Vulnerability is not an option. People look to us for answers; they do not want to see someone, well weak, my dear. You must learn to control yourself and be in charge of your own emotions. No one cares about your personal problems, my dear girl; they want to see strength and durability. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"_

"_Yes, Your Majesty! I understand perfectly and I will not disappoint you again." The girl vowed to her Queen._

"_Good! See that you do not fail me!" The Queen began to rise. "Now, my dear, might I suggest that you try and get some sleep. You will want to appear fresh tomorrow when you march down that isle."_

"_Yes, Your majesty!" Those were the only words left to say of the young girl._

"So my love, that is that and why I learned to bury my feelings so deeply inside of myself. I do try, Joseph to be more open with you, but after so many years, I still find that I have difficulty with it." She confided to him, hoping he would understand.

"I do understand, darling and I'm glad that you shared this with me. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like for you as a young girl entering into life as a royal for the first time, but you do know that she was wrong, don't you?" Joseph asked her.

"About many things, yes! That's why that day in San Francisco, after Mia's first state dinner party, I looked into her eyes and saw her spirit breaking, I knew that I had to do something fast." She spoke softly.

"And that's when you decided to cancel princess lessons and the two of you toured San Francisco, alone." He began to put it together, thinking back.

"Yes! You're not still angry about that, are you Joseph?" She truly hoped he had gotten over that.

"Of course not, my love. I was at the time because I was so worried about your safety and what could have happened to you both. I guess, I was just being purely selfish because I couldn't stand the thought of loosing you, still can't!" He spoke lovingly, reaching up to caress her face as he gazed into her eyes.

"Oh Joseph! You are not selfish. How could you ever think that you were? I have always appreciated the way you protected me and made me feel safe, no one has ever made me feel safer than you! I love you so much for it!" She returned his gaze and began to shiver under his touch.

Joseph immediately felt it and smiled. Bringing his lips down to hers, he began to kiss her with abandon, provoking an unbridled passion in Clarisse as she returned his kiss and deepened it impossibly further.

Breaking apart to catch their breaths, Clarisse could not stop the yawn that escaped her mouth or the tiredness that suddenly began to claim her body. "I'm sorry!" She apologized.

"Don't apologize, my love, it's been quite a long day. Sleep while I hold you in my arms, we have the rest of our lives to love each other." He replied lovingly.

"You won't let go of me?" Clarisse asked, snuggling into Joseph's warm chest.

"Never, my love and that's a promise." He held her tighter, before sleep claimed them, sending them both into a world of dreams, her suddenly remembering her wedding night with Rupert and having to give up her young innocent body for the first time and he of the first time he made love to his Queen and made her his.

To Be Continued……………….


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks so much to luvhector, Shakayla, OSUSprinks, mainer2121, Nikki, ModernMillie, CJmynixMG, JoolsIsGreat, Prettycrazy, and nofearonlylove for your very kind reviews! They are sooooo appreciated! I was seriously going to post this last night but I really wanted to work a little harder on it and make it about more than just sex, so here is what came out of it! You guys are going to kill me I'm afraid, at the end of this, but I promise I am typing away at this thing just as fast as my little fingers will type! I so need a laptop and I could do so much more! LOLOL Anyway, as you will see there is another section to this portion of the story between Clarisse and Rupert and that will come in Chp 15! Please continue the reviews, I really need them-I'm hoping that I bring you readers right into the middle of what is going on so that you feel as if you are there or at least seeing it like a movie! Please enjoy! Thanks, Gina

PS….Thank you, thank you, thank you to Prettycrazy for all of your help and keeping me company today and awake!

Chapter Fourteen

Never in her life had Clarisse felt so nervous, it seemed as if thousands of tiny little knots had suddenly formed in her stomach. She wondered if she might actually get sick as tiny little beads of perspiration began to gather on her forehead, making her feel hot and cold all at the same time. They were sitting in their seats, she and Rupert, on Genovia One headed to Paris for their honeymoon. She had done it! She had made it down the aisle and promised herself forever to the crown prince of Genovia, a man she knew she did not love.

Why did he have to sit so close to her, watching her as she squirmed under his intense gaze? Did he know how nervous he was making her feel; would he really care if he did know? Her clothes felt like they were sticking to her and she shifted uncomfortably. She had been able to change into a beautiful silk mauve colored skirt and creamed colored blouse right after the huge formal wedding reception, but it did little to make her comfortable right now. At least she had been able to get out of the heavy solid white wedding dress and that horrid gold tiara that weighed so much; it had actually hurt her head. The dress had been utterly gorgeous; one would have expected nothing less for the bride of the crown prince. It was a billowy vision of white taffeta, big puffy sleeves, a tight bodice that fit in all of the right places with an enticingly low neckline trimmed with very delicate lace, big poofy skirt, and a 20 foot train. Just thinking about it all made her head swim and she felt tired all over again.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Rupert cleared his throat and took her hand in his lifting it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss upon it. She peered into his eyes not sure how she should respond. "Feeling a little nervous, my dear?" He asked with a knowing grin.

"Yes, I suppose I am." She replied truthfully and dropped her eyes to the hand he still held in his. Just then, the pilot announced they would be landing in Paris in about 10 minutes causing Clarisse to suddenly gasp aloud.

This seemed to amuse Rupert as his smile quickly broadened. Clarisse's heart was beating so loud in her ears she was sure that the entire plane must be able to hear it by now. Oh my, was she nervous! So many thoughts were flying through her head, so many feelings raging through her body. She really didn't know what to expect. This wasn't a subject that was discussed openly, it just wouldn't be proper to talk of such things and yet, she had finally worked up the courage to at least ask Marie. Unfortunately though, her maid hadn't had much experience either in that department and advised that she just close her eyes and try to think of something pleasant until it was over. Would it really be that bad? She had heard some of the girls at school say that it really hurt the first time you gave yourself to a man, that the pain was indescribable and sometimes a lot of bleeding was involved. Oh God, she felt sick again with all of these thoughts that refused to stop running through her mind. Suddenly she felt the change in movement as the plane started its decent. A few more minutes and she would be sharing not only a bed, but also her body for the first time with this man. What if she found being with him intimately intolerable? What if she was such a disappointment to him and couldn't satisfy his needs? Well, no problem there, at least, she thought dryly, he has plenty of women that can satisfy his needs, what's one more really? Oh God, it was time, Rupert was pulling her to her feet and they were getting ready to walk off the plane, security surrounding them as they made their way to the waiting limos that would take them to the finest hotel in all of Paris.

They arrived at the hotel and were quickly escorted to the honeymoon suite located on the top floor of the building. As soon as they were left alone, Rupert took her into his arms and twirled her around, lifting her completely off of her feet, bringing his lips down hard on top of hers stealing her breath away, his hands immediately stroking her body as he did so. This was all so new and completely overwhelming for her. She struggled to bring her hands up and push a little against his chest in order to break the kiss and catch her breath. Finally he pulled back and she was gasping for breath. He sat her back on her feet and stepped back taking in the sight of her, before she could even gather her thoughts, he scooped her up into his arms again and gently placed her down on the enormous king sized bed that had been turned down already. She could feel his warm breath on her neck as he leaned over her body already starting to undo the buttons that ran down her blouse.

"You are so beautiful Clarisse, so exquisite." She heard him croon in her ear as the cool air began to hit her chest.

"Rupert…ummm…Rupert?" She tried to gain his attention, reaching up to stop his hands from going any further. "I need…that is…would you mind if I just went to the bathroom for a moment to freshen up?"

He smiled and immediately let go of her and pulled back. "Of course, my dear, I will be waiting right here when you return. Hurry back."

She moved to get up but before she could, he entwined his hands into her hair, holding her head to his, forcing one more hard kiss to her swollen lips before letting her go.

Shutting the bathroom door, she made sure it was locked and then leaned all of her weight against it, trying to take a few deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. Remembering the kisses he had forced upon her, her hand suddenly went to her mouth as she tried to wipe them away. What was she doing? He was her husband now, although she still felt betrayed by him, she was going to have to find away to allow him to have her. This is what wives did; it was part of her duty.

She walked over to the sink and quickly splashed her face with some cold water. There that certainly felt better. Grabbing a towel, she patted her face dry and then stood staring at herself in the mirror. She couldn't help but noticed the huge frightened eyes staring back at her. Is this what Rupert saw?

Squaring her shoulders with firm determination, she came out of the bathroom in order to return into her husband's arms. He was now sitting on the bed with a half empty glass of champagne in his hand and a full one sitting on the nightstand along with the bottle.

He looked up and smiled when he noticed her coming his way. "I wasn't sure you were ever going to come back out, but I had a bottle of the hotel's finest champagne brought up just in case." He reached for her arm to help her sit and then placed the full glass of bubbly liquid into her trembling hand.

She stared down at the drink and then moved her eyes to his and tried to explain herself. "I'm sorry, Rupert." She nervously looked away again. "You see, I….I've never done this sort of thing before, given myself to any man, I don't really know what to do or what to expect!"

"Well, I should say not, my dear." He laughed heartily. If you had been with another man then I would have had to have you publicly whipped in the courtyard." He seemed rather pleased with himself and highly amused at what she had just revealed. As he took another stiff drink and downed the remaining contents of his glass, setting it down on the nightstand, he cast his new wife another glance, seeing her very serious shocked expression, he quickly reassured her. "My dear, I was joking just now." He spoke drawing her close against himself once more. "But the fact remains that I knew you would be a virgin, I expected nothing less and I am honored to be your first. Hopefully tonight you will experience many firsts, now drink, my lady, the champagne will calm your nerves."

Clarisse took a tiny sip of the clear bubbly liquid, not quite certain if she enjoyed the taste or not as she felt it begin to prickle at her nose.

"Go ahead." Rupert encouraged her. "You'll love it once you get used to it."

Was there some sort of hidden meaning behind his words, she wondered as she quickly began to consume its contents? Would she ever get used to being the wife of the crown prince and learn to love him? Maybe even want more of him at some point?

Finishing off the rest of her drink, she handed the glass back to Rupert only to watch him refill her glass yet again. Deciding she did sort of like the taste of it, she made no objection. After a few moments though, suddenly realizing she had eaten very little due to her nerves at the reception, her head began to swim with a little dizziness.

"Oh my!" She spoke, reaching up to rub her temple.

"Another first, my dear?" Rupert asked smiling as he gazed longingly into her beautiful deep blue eyes.

"I am afraid so!" She tentatively tried to return his smile, but then quickly dropped her eyes to her lap and gasped as she began to see his eyes darken with lust and desire for her, sending shivers racing down her spine. This was not something she was used to, even though she had been aware of many men looking at her in such a way before, never had she not been able to then just simply walk away. No this time, she would have to allow him to look at her and then do as he pleased.

He reached over to take the glass from her hand and set it on the nightstand before reaching over and drawing her face closer to his as her own hand dropped from her temple. Before he could bring his mouth to hers though, she interrupted the moment.

"Uhhhh…I think maybe the champagne went straight to my head on account of my having eaten very little today….I have been rather nervous….with everything…and……" She trailed off, knowing she was just rambling but suddenly didn't know what else to say.

Rupert pulled back a little. "Clarisse?" He spoke, looking directly into her eyes yet again, trailing his finger down the side of her face.

She gasped softly unable to speak and he smiled brightly at her. "Do you remember, my dear, the very first time we met? He implored.

"Yes, the tree." She exclaimed, gulping as he then continued to run his finger down to the side of her neck.

"Yes, you were up in that silly tree demanding that those boys who were teasing you, to go away and learn to behave themselves. I thought perhaps you were only in that tree because you were afraid and had climbed up just to get away from them, but when I tried to assist you down, you looked at me as if I had insulted you and told me you climbed trees all the time and not to worry myself, you'd get down when you felt like it." Moving over to her shoulder, he ran his hand up and down her arm, his touches beginning to intensify.

"You remember everything I said that day?" She asked astonishment in her eyes as she tried not to flinch from the contact. "I must have been nearly 14 yrs old at that time."

"Yes and do you remember after that you started attending the balls with your father? Only every time I would look in your direction, you'd look away and not give me the time of day. Do you remember, Clarisse?" He moved back up her arm and then ever so slightly began to run the tips of his fingers just above her breasts, from shoulder to shoulder, just lightly grazing her. At this, she took a sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes.

"Yes" She replied, her eyes still tightly closed.

"And then do you remember when that Mabry fellow had you pinned up against the wall during the Christmas ball, trying to put the moves on you and I came to your rescue, trying hard that night to be your prince charming? You must have been what, around 17 yrs of age by then, just last year, wasn't it, if memory serves me correctly?" She nodded slightly, unable to speak.

"And then do you remember what you said to me?" He continued his feathery touches through her blouse, suddenly becoming bolder as he ran the pad of his thumb over her nipples, causing Clarisse eyes to immediately fly open as her body responded to his advances.

Receiving no answer but knowing he had her full attention he answered his own question. "I believe you said you would appreciate it if I would stay out of your personal affairs and that you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, you did not need or want my help! Do you remember, Clarisse?"

He stared hard into her eyes as she just barely nodded her head. "What I would like to try and understand then is, since we both know that you are not some weak submissive type of girl, then why did you agree to be my wife, why did you not turn away and run as fast as you could out of that church like I know you wanted to do at one point?" He stopped and grabbed her by the shoulders, staring hard into her eyes as if trying to find his answers there.

"What…..what makes you think…that…that…I wanted to run?" She stammered, unable to look away.

"It was in your eyes, my dear! It was in your eyes!" He replied, his eyes still searching hers. "Why Clarisse? Why did you agree to become my wife?"

How could she ever explain her reasons to this man? How would he ever understand? She simply did what she had to do, that was all there was to it, there was no other choice for her to make.

When he received no response and saw the struggle going on in her eyes, he spoke softly but forcefully. "Stand up, Clarisse!"

She looked at him startled, but his face was impassive, she had no idea what he was going to do.

"I want you to stand up, Clarisse, right now!" He repeated, his eyes never leaving her face.

Taking a deep breath, she did as he asked of her. His eyes left her face and began to roam all over her body, again his eyes noticeably darkened with desire.

Her breaths were coming much faster now as she realized how he was looking at her. She fought the urge to run from him right now.

His voice suddenly sounding different, he spoke to her again. "I want you to take off your clothes now and come to bed with me, Clarisse. Can you do that?" He challenged her.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks to Nikki, mainer2121, OSUSprinks, nofearonlylove, and Shakayla for your reviews! And a big thanks to Prettycrazy for all of your help and encouragement, if it weren't for you, I'd probably have quit on this already. I absolutely love writing with a passion, it's just so hard to find the time that it takes to write a story in the mist of a 14 month old and a 2 yr old…lol! But I promised Prettycrazy that I wouldn't give up on it though and she is holding me to it every day, so you can see why your reviews mean so much! All of you guys are just wonderful! Anyway enjoy! Thanks, Gina

PS….I will post on the forum when I get close to finishing chapter 16, so you can check there if you get to wondering when it will be up!

**Warning: This chapter contains very adult material in adult situations. It is extremely graphic, but written with good taste. So consider yourself warned…there is another version that is even more graphic that I will keep private, but if anyone is interested, then just email me privately! Prettycrazy was good enough to reread this last night and help me tone it down enough to post for you guys!**

Chapter Fifteen

"_**Alright Rupert, just give me a moment!" She replied turning to walk towards the bathroom.**_

"_**No Clarisse!" He stopped her cold with his next words. "I want you to turn back around and take your clothes off right here, right now!" She froze as her face turned a deep crimson. She suddenly felt as though she might be sick and quietly wrapped her arms around her stomach, still unable to move. She could hear him get up from the bed and then felt his hot breath on her neck as his arms encircled her pulling her back hard against himself.**_

_**Pushing her blonde tresses aside, he began to place hot kisses to the side of her neck, making her shiver uncontrollably. "Clarisse?" He spoke low into her ear. "Turn around, my dear."**_

_**She stepped forward to put a little distance between them and then turned completely around to face him. Biting down on her bottom lip, she took a deep breath and confronted him.**_

"_**Rupert wait!" She spoke pushing on his chest a little to gain some control of the situation and to obtain his attention.**_

"_**You should know that whatever my reasons were or weren't for marrying you are not important any more. What matters is that I want with all of my heart to be a good wife to you and a good mother to our children when the time comes, and the best queen I can be some day. I promise to stand by your side and support you however I can. I respect you, Rupert!" She declared staring him in the eye.**_

_**He was dumbfounded by her forthright declarations that much was obvious, but she wasn't yet done. "Rupert, I realize that neither of us love each other, how could we? We barely know one another, but I'd like to think that we are at least ….friends?" She looked to him hopefully.**_

"_**Of course, we are, my dear." He quickly replied. "But Clarisse you are wrong about one thing."**_

"_**I am?" She questioned.**_

"_**Yes, you most certainly are! I do love you. In fact, I have love you for a very, very long time!" He stepped closer, backing her up until she was against the wall.**_

"_**I'm afraid I don't understand! How can you possibly love me when you barely even know me?" She whispered, her eyes on his lips that were now so close to her own that she could feel the heat of his breath as he spoke. He placed one hand on the wall right next to her head and with the other he ran the pad of his thumb across her tremulous lips.**_

"_**You are by far the most beautiful, enchanting thing I have ever laid eyes on. I have wanted you, dreamed of making you completely mine for a VERY long time. I have never loved anything as much as I love you!" With that, before she could say another word, his lips came crashing down upon hers, stealing her breath away, his hands roaming all over her body as he pushed into her, trapping her body helplessly against the wall.**_

_**Finally he pulled back to take a breath, leaving her gasping for air as she struggled against the strength of his body. His mouth came down hard again on hers in a bruising kiss as she suddenly felt his hands going up her thighs under her skirt.**_

"_**Rupert…Rupert?" She panted out as his mouth moved down from her lips to the side of her neck. If he did hear her, he wasn't responding.**_

"_**Rupert, please!" She desperately tried again.**_

_**He lifted his head away for a moment though only to unfasten her skirt as it suddenly pooled at her feet. "Rupert, please, slow down…this is all so new to me!"**_

"_**Don't worry, my dear. You'll get used to it and then you'll be begging for more! My women always do!" He grinned impishly and then proceeded to yank the rest of the buttons free on her blouse before diving in to taste her as he took one of her breasts into his mouth.**_

_**As he pressed into her, she could feel the hardness of his erection, something she had never felt before and it frightened her. He was going so fast, his hands and mouth all over her, she couldn't quite get her hands in between them to push him back, she needed air, before she could think any further about it, she felt her undergarments urgently yanked away from her naked body.**_

"_**No, Rupert, wait!" She gasped, falling against the wall, barely able to hold herself upright as she tried vainly to reach for her clothes and cover herself.**_

_**He stepped back, hastily removing his shirt, before pulling her body again tightly to his, her clothes now tossed further aside and completely out of her reach. "Clarisse my dear, no more teasing. I simply cannot take it! You belong to me now, I need you!" His hands were on her rear now as he lifted her slightly, her back against the wall as he pushed into her impossibly further.**_

_**Just when she thought she couldn't take any more, he suddenly put her down, only then to put an arm under her legs, lifting her up to carry her over to the massive bed that awaited them.**_

_**Upon setting her down on the bed she quickly pulled the sheets up around her naked body as she watched with wild eyes, her husband quickly ridding himself of his trousers, his eyes never leaving her face.**_

_**She had never seen a naked man before in her life and this particular man was to say the least very well endowed. She gasped at the sight of him and fought to catch her breath.**_

_**He slid under the sheets and then hovered above her as he brought the most intimate parts of their bodies into contact, Clarisse immediately turned her face away as her nervousness and fear overwhelmed her.**_

_**He gently turned her face back to his and looked deep into her eyes. "I know you are a little nervous, my dear, that after all is to be expected, but after this first time you'll come to enjoy it, I promise! You are so beautiful!" He writhed against her and then cupped her breast in his hand. "I have always been captivated by you and fear that I may never be able to keep my hands off of this exquisite body." He smiled.**_

_**He leaned down thrusting his tongue deep inside her mouth, she tentatively brought her arms up to encircle his neck. She tried hard to tell herself that this was normal, that it would be okay, she could do this, it was her duty. She was not weak, she could handle this and show him that she could please him.**_

_**She began to kiss him back trying to match his hungry kisses, their tongues beginning a duel she was completely unfamiliar with. She felt his hot mouth leave hers and move urgently down her body, licking and teasing, while his hands caressed her. She tried to relax, but it was impossible. She closed her eyes as she felt his mouth again on her nipple, licking it this time before barely closing his mouth over it, causing her to unconsciously moan in spite of herself.**_

_**Suddenly her eyes shot open as she felt him touching her there, between her legs where no man had ever touched her before. She gasped out loud as her body began to respond of its on accord and writhed against him, causing him to now be the one to moan.**_

_**Before she knew what was happening she suddenly felt him pushing against her entrance as his tongue demanded the same of her mouth. She gripped his shoulders tightly trying to prepare for the inevitable.**_

_**The pain was all at once almost unbearable. "Oh God, Rupert…..it hurts…it hurts!" She screamed into his mouth, digging her nails into his shoulders as tears sprang into her eyes, but he kept right on moving now lost in his own pleasure as he thrust harder and harder.**_

_**She thought she'd choke if he didn't let her soon have a breath, the weight of his body heavy on hers and then she felt him go limp and shudder into her mouth before burying his face in her neck. Finally he began to move to her side as he took her into his arms holding her tightly to his chest. "We are going to be so happy together, Clarisse, my dear. I know that now!" **_

_**Maybe he spoke those words to simply try and reassure her but instead she felt such a deep sadness invade her soul. She wasn't happy, she was just simply doing her duty, nothing more!**_

_**After a few moments she soon realized that his breathing had changed and he must have fallen asleep. Disentangling herself from his arms, she winced as she made to move off of the bed. She desperately wanted a shower, her body ached and hurt all over, already reminding her that her first time was not something she would ever remember as pleasurable.**_

_**Careful not to awaken her new husband, she quietly stepped over to gather her clothes that were strewn about all over the floor, before entering the bathroom to take a shower.**_

_**The hot water running down her back felt wonderful as it began to soothe her aching muscles. So many thoughts going through her mind as she stood there thinking about her first night as a married woman and wife to Prince Rupert. She wasn't quite sure what she had expected it to be like, but not like this, she had hoped that perhaps she would at least find it tolerable. Right now all she could think about was how empty and alone she suddenly felt inside, not to mention the physical pain she was feeling. Closing her eyes, she tried to shut out everything else as she felt the tears welling up inside, a sob catching in her throat. She had always dreamed of love, not fondness, and certainly not this. **_

_**If she closed her eyes tight enough she could still see the image of the man that so often dominated her dreams. His eyes were a deep brown but filled with so much love and devotion for her when she looked into them that she wanted to loose herself in them forever. His skin a deep rich tan which brought a blush to her own skin as she thought about him. His voice rich and soothing, calm and gentle, sweet and loving as he spoke her name with a slight Spanish accent. His lips, oh his lips, in her dreams she knew how his lips would feel upon hers as they softly kissed……………….**_

_**Startled, she felt the cool air hit her skin as the shower door suddenly came open. "Rupert……what are you doing in here?" She turned from him trying to hide her naked body from his.**_

"_**I was missing you, my dear. You don't mind if I join you, do you?" He asked, pulling her back against him.**_

_**She tensed, her arms wrapped so tightly around herself that her knuckles were white as he began to caress her bare arms. "Clarisse, my dear, is everything alright?" He suddenly stopped and asked.**_

"_**It's just…it's just this is all so very new to me and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, Rupert. Can you understand?" She asked hopefully.**_

"_**Of course I can, my dear, but the only way for you to get used to it and for us to hopefully one day have an heir is for us to be together, love." He wrapped his arms around her again and then kissed the side of her neck. **_

"_**You're my wife now, and as my wife there are certain needs that you have to fulfill and I also want to be there to fulfill your needs." She remained silent and unmoving, so he continued on. "You do want to be a good wife and please me, don't you Clarisse?"**_

"_**Of…of course I do Rupert! You know that, it's just going to take some time for me to become comfortable with all of this, I suppose." She gasped as she suddenly felt his hands running down her sides to her hips.**_

"_**Then be with me again, right now!" He urged. "This time I'll make certain you enjoy it as much as I!" He whispered in her ear seductively as he turned her around to face him.**_

To Be Continued……………………………………………..


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks so much to Shakayla, ProperlyPrim18, CJmynixMG, Andy, mainer2121, Nikki, OSUSprinks, RevSue, nofearonlylove, and finally Prettycrazy for your wonderful reviews! Prettycrazy (who not only edited this chapter for me but also came up with the idea of just how to cliff hang it….thanks Jeanette!)**

**Huge Warning: This chapter contains graphic sex between two adults, even more so than any of my previous chapters uncut or not! So consider yourself warned! There is also a little bit of sexual violence!**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_**She stood there a few moments rooted to the spot; the only sound that could be heard was the steady stream of the water that continued to fall behind her.**_

_**Rupert lifted her face to his and stared deep into her eyes, forcing her to meet his steady gaze. It was almost as if he was trying to control her and knew that in the end she'd give herself up to him again.**_

_**She wanted to look away, she wanted to get out of there as fast as she could and never come back, but she could do neither. This was her life now, her destiny, this was what she had been preparing for her entire life, and this was what her family had wanted for her. To be the wife of Prince Rupert and some day the Queen of her country. She must learn to accept the duties and responsibilities that came with this new role. She must learn to accept the fact that it was her duty to give up her body to this man who was now her husband, no matter how much her heart and mind screamed out against it. He was right; she did belong to him now and to the people of Genovia. Any other dreams she might have had were foolish and had to be pushed away, pushed away so far that she would never miss them or think about them ever again.**_

**_Finally she lowered her arms and gave herself up to Rupert's penetrating gaze as it swept over the entire length of her body and brought a deep blush to her face. A pleased and possessive expression came over his face as if he knew of the battle that had just raged and been fought inside her. Still he stood there waiting, not yet touching her. Then she understood, he was waiting on her to make the first move this time, to physically say that she was giving herself to him. She sighed inwardly and reached up with trembling hands and placed them on his chest as she stepped closer. The heat that rose up within her, keeping her from meeting his gaze any longer as she quickly dropped her eyes, only to gasp out loud when she noticed his now very apparent physical desire to have her body yet again. She struggled to suppress the scream that threatened to erupt from deep within her soul._**

"_**You do want me, don't you, my dear?" He whispered in her ear, pressing her ever so tightly against himself, reveling in her curves.**_

_**She couldn't speak, couldn't find any words to say, she only wanted to get this over with yet again, so winding her arms tightly around his neck, she pressed herself into him impossibly closer and with a fierceness she hadn't known she possessed as she realized she was betraying her very heart and soul, she kissed him hard on the mouth, angry at him and even more angry at herself for letting her duty rob her of dreams that were yet to be realized and now never would be. Something had been unleashed in her, something wild and untamed that suddenly began to take control of her body with a mind and will of its own. She couldn't stop herself and as her tongue danced wildly with his, she could feel his hands on her rear, lifting her up as her legs began to wrap around his hips. Then just as the water suddenly turned an icy cold and splattered against her, images of a dark skinned man she had never yet met but knew with overwhelming certainty existed and was the other half of her heart, flashed through her mind, causing her to choke and sputter for breath as she pulled away from Rupert's mouth and leaned back into the now freezing water.**_

_**He set her down on her feet and reached behind her to turn off the cold water, his own breaths coming in short sharp pants. Opening the shower door, he stepped out and reached back for her hand expectantly. She grasped it and stepped out as he grabbed a towel from the wall and started to hand it to her only to suddenly stop and let the towel drop to the floor as his eyes once again took in the sight of her exquisite perfectly shaped body.**_

_**He was entranced, unable to think clearly as he his eyes roamed over her, from first her beautiful face with those bright sultry blue eyes that captivated him so and now closed as she realized he was watching her, down her long delicate neck to her warm, very full breasts that were so well rounded and almost begging for his touch, down over her slender waist to her delightfully curvy hips and then those legs, those perfectly long shapely legs that he could get so lost in running his hands up and down. This woman was perfection to him, he realized. The tiny beads of water that glided down her delicate form mesmerizing him as he saw the heat rising to her face.**_

_**He dropped to his knees in front of her, pulling her to him as he began to kiss her belly, using his tongue to taste and explore her, causing her to audibly quiver at the sensations he was engendering.**_

_**She couldn't believe how her body was responding and betraying her mind and heart and yet, why not? What did some dream, some feeling deep down inside of her really matter? So what if she didn't love this man? So what if she could never be everything to him? Her thoughts were suddenly becoming all jumbled and confused as she felt his hands on her rear, caressing her, his mouth and tongue moving increasingly lower as her hands unexpectedly entwined themselves in his hair, pulling him closer.**_

_**She could hear herself moaning and yet it didn't sound like her, but somebody else. "Oh God, what was he doing to her now?" She shivered as he ran his tongue down the inside of her thigh causing him to pull back and smile up at her.**_

_**All of a sudden he stood up and lifted her, then set her down gently on the bathroom vanity, parting her legs and kneeling down between them. As he slid her a little closer to himself, she gripped the edges of the counter and leant back. Her eyes afire and her breathing erratic as he began to touch her ever so slightly, massaging the inside of her thighs and working his way up with his hands as his mouth started at her navel and began its descent downward.**_

_**She was breathing heavily, her hands clenching so hard that her knuckles were turning white as she suddenly felt his fingers slipping in and out of her center, his thumb running back and forth across her bud of passion. She quivered against him and screwed up her face, quietly groaning as he did it again. She was starting to loose control of herself, feeling the waves of pleasure course through her like a fire deep down in the pit of her stomach, leaving her wanting only more.**_

_**She closed her eyes, throwing her head back, and just when she thought she couldn't take it any more, Rupert pulled his hand away from between her legs. Clarisse's eyes flew open meeting his, her confused almost pleading look made him smile. He reclaimed her mouth with his in a heated kiss, his tongue probing the inside of her mouth for a few seconds before breaking it off and traveling down her throat to her breasts, where he took each one in turn, sucking and nibbling on her nipples as they hardened. He then left her breasts and his mouth traveled down over her stomach, to the place only a few minutes ago he had aroused her with his hands. His mouth and tongue so hot as they glided and suckled on her skin.**_

_**Clarisse's eyes flew open in shock; she didn't know what to think! Was this normal behavior? She didn't know. She had never experienced anything like this before. Not ever! There was little time for her to think as Rupert began bringing her back to her breaking point. His warm throbbing tongue was all she could think of as he worked his magic on her, sliding it back and forward over the bud of flesh.**_

_**Clarisse felt as though she could take it no more, her hands were now embedded in Rupert's hair as she pushed up against his mouth, crying out in pleasure, withering against the rugs. Suddenly all of her pleasure was centered under that warm throbbing tongue, in a ball of raging fire ready to erupt.**_

_**She was sobbing, begging for release, when Rupert abruptly pulled her down hard off of the counter and flipped her over, her stomach against the edge of the counter as he pulled her hips back hard against himself, one hand around her waist, the other on her back pushing her down against the counter.**_

_**She was watching him through the mirror with wild eyes, unsure what he would do next, when he suddenly pulled her down to the floor and her hips back up hard against him. Before she had time to think any further a surge of pain shot through her, causing her to almost scream out as he entered her forcefully from behind.**_

"_**Just relax, Clarisse!" He whispered hoarsely into her ear as he began to thrust deep inside of her. What this woman did to him, every sound she made threatened to send him over the edge. No woman had ever affected him the way this one did!**_

**_She was almost like a drug for him, the more he had of her the more he needed, he couldn't wait. He had to have her, to consume her, to somehow possess her body and soul. He could hear her whimper and scream as he jerked her body backwards, thrusting himself harder, faster, and even deeper inside of her, he couldn't get enough!_**

"_**Rup…Rupert?" She panted out in a strained whisper and then screamed. "I….I…can't do this….please!" She was gasping for breath, trying to fight her way through the pain that enveloped her each time he plunged himself deeper inside of her, she couldn't move or get away, each time she tried his hold on her tightened with the force of his strength, pinning her between himself and the floor.**_

_**Hot tears coursed down her face as the pain finally began to ebb to a dull ache as her body finally began to adjust to her husband's desire. He suddenly pulled her up, groping wildly at her breasts as he crushed her against him and screamed out her name, before shuddering and collapsing against her back, kissing her shoulders as he did so.**_

_**Never had her body ached so, her center throbbed and her stomach hurt, causing her to flinch when he placed a kiss to her shoulders. He was still inside of her and all she wanted was for him to be done and leave her alone.**_

"_**Ah, my dear, you can't tell me you didn't enjoy it this time!" He spoke out of breath, quite happy and pleased with both himself and her.**_

_**He must be joking she thought to herself, surely he couldn't possibly believe that she enjoyed that! She heard him growl way back in his throat as he suddenly turned her face to him and began kissing her anew, his tongue demanding entrance into her mouth.**_

**Clarisse's eyes snapped open as she felt herself responding to his kiss, her mind still in a heavy fog as she suddenly realized where she was and who was kissing her. She abruptly pulled back, trying to catch her breath from the intensity of the dream she had just been forced to relive.**

**To Be Continued……………**


	17. Chapter 17

**Again thanks to all of you who have posted reviews and helped to make me write faster…lol! mainer2121, CJmynixMG, Nikki, OSUSprinks, Shakayla, RevSue, and of course Prettycrazy who helps me with this all of the time! Please enjoy and leave a review, next chapter will be out very soon! Italicized portions of my story always mean either past times or a dream. Thanks, Gina**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**He could feel her body suddenly stiffen and then begin to tremble in his arms as she pulled back from their heated kiss. "Clarisse darling, what just happened?" They were both struggling to catch their breaths, although for different reasons, he suspected.**

"**I…I…thought…I thought….." She struggled to speak. "I suppose I was dreaming again. I…I'm sorry, Joseph!" She whispered hoarsely and turned away from him. She couldn't bear to look into his eyes at the moment for fear of what he might see in hers.**

"**Sorry? Sorry Clarisse?" He tried to pull her back around to face him but she resisted. "Why on earth would you be sorry? None of this is your fault and you certainly can't control what you dream about."**

**She broke into tears at his words of love and understanding, words she didn't deserve, she thought wryly as she fought with herself wondering if she could just tell him everything right here, right now. Would he truly be able to understand and forgive her for the decisions she had made so long ago or would he blame her for what she had done as she had blamed herself now for so long?**

**This time, as she was lost in her own thoughts, he did manage to pull her back into his embrace, holding her, loving her, and slightly rocking her as she sobbed openly, her head on his shoulder, tears soaking through his shirt as he cupped her head with one hand and tenderly rubbed her back with the other while whispering soothing comforting words of his love in her ear.**

**They must of stayed like that for quite some time before he finally felt her calm and her breathing become deep and even, letting him know that she was finally asleep again. As he continued to lovingly caress her skin, his mind wandered back to the time of that very first kiss, that very first magical heart stopping kiss that had changed both of their lives forever.**

_**Until that evening, he could tell that his presence always seemed to unnerve her somewhat, although she tried very hard to hide it. From the very first day they had been introduced by the King's first in command, Gaylord, he could sense that there was an immediate connection between the two of them; that first glance, first touch.**_

_**She had been sitting behind her desk when he walked in behind his new boss, his breath suddenly catching in his throat as he watched her endorse the last document of a huge stack of papers with her signature before rising to greet them.**_

"_**Your Majesty" Gaylord began. "May I present the man who is to be your personal bodyguard, Mr. Joseph Ramirez" Their eyes met and neither could look away, the Queen's sharp intake of breath was the only sound that could be heard.**_

_**As Gaylord cleared his throat, Joseph was the first to recover enough to speak. "Your Majesty" He spoke, never breaking eye contact as he stepped around to the side of her desk and bowed slightly. She extended her hand still unable to form any words but smiled into his eyes.**_

"_**It is my honor to serve and protect you, I assure you, I will never let you down." He spoke, as he took her hand and gently placed a kiss to the back of it which sent a jolt of electricity through them both and caused Clarisse to suddenly step back a little as she pulled her hand back. She looked a little frightened, Joseph thought to himself.**_

"_**Are you feeling alright, your majesty?" Gaylord interjected, looking between the two not quite certain what had just happened.**_

"_**Oh…ummm…yes, yes. I'm quite fine." She tried to assure as the heat suddenly rose to her face. "You may go now, Gaylord." She blushed even more.**_

_**Joseph thought he had never seen a more beautiful woman than the one who stood before him blushing furiously as she pretended to straighten her clothes and bade him to take a seat. She was even more breath taking in person than she had been on television seven years ago.**_

_**Finally finding her voice but unable to take her eyes off of him she finally spoke. "Ummm…Mr. Ramirez, would you care to tell me a little about yourself?" **_

_**He couldn't help but notice how her voice suddenly cracked when she spoke to him and how her eyes seemed to pierce him right through to his soul. If he wasn't careful he could get lost in those amazing blue eyes, the bluest he had ever seen. **_

"_**Please, Your Majesty, it's just Joseph." He insisted and smiled brightly.**_

"_**Alright then, Joseph..." His pulse suddenly racing at the way his name sounded coming from her lips. So they had spent almost an hour getting to know one other and finding the other so easy to talk to. Both stealing glances at each other every chance they got, he kept having to remind himself that this was no dream and she was his employer, his Queen, and a married one at that. **_

_**So over the course of the following year, Joseph felt that he and his Queen had become much closer. Although there was a fine line in their relationship that neither dared to cross, he had gotten used to, even come to expect, those intense feelings that ran through his body at her slightest touch. Sometimes even with just a glance, she could take his breath away. **_

_**It was no wonder then that things had happened as they had one certain night that began a change in their relationship that would last a lifetime. It was the evening of the Annual Independence Day Ball. The King as usual having had a few too many drinks, stumbled his way down the hall to his rooms with the Viscount Mabry at his side. **_

_**Joseph watched with growing suspicion how the King seemed to hang on the Viscount's every word. Truth be told, he had never liked the Viscount Mabry. Clarisse had confided in him about how the Viscount's long leering looks just unnerved her time and again. When he had offered to speak with King Rupert on this matter with the hopes of making Clarisse feel a little safer, she had become very upset and refused to accept his help. It was a long time before she had finally come to him and opened up a little about her personal relationship with the King and why she would not let Joseph intervene on her behalf. It had taken all of his self restraint not to personally assault His Majesty at that point, but for Clarisse, he knew he would do anything, even if it meant doing nothing at all. Of course, the Viscount was another matter entirely; he intended to watch this snake like a hawk**_

_**The Queen had already retired for the evening to her suite and Joseph had just been about to retire to his own room for the night, when the King spotted him and ordered that he bring the Queen to him at once, obviously not realizing that Joseph was now off duty, but he didn't mind that so much, it was Clarisse he was worried about and was glad it was him that the King had spotted.**_

_**He made his way to Clarisse's suite and knocked on the doors, not receiving a response; he cautiously cleared his throat and entered the door to the Queen's sitting room as the two guards posted outside stared after him. The room was dark and the only light that could be seen was a dim light shining from under the Queen's bedchamber. He made his way to her door and knocked gingerly, after a few moments, the door opened and Clarisse appeared somewhat surprised as she pulled her robe tightly together.**_

_**God, she was beautiful! His pulse was racing at a dizzying speed and his heart was beating so loudly he silently wondered if she could hear it too.**_

"_**Joseph?" She said a little more loudly, finally breaking through his reverie having not realized that he was just standing there staring at her like some lost puppy with his mouth hanging open.**_

"_**Your…your Majesty? Please forgive me!" He began to apologize as the color quickly rose to his cheeks, but before he could finish; with a slightly amused grin quickly spreading across her features, she dismissed his apology.**_

"_**It's quite alright, Joseph!" She wasn't even trying to hide her smile, he noticed. "Was there something you wanted?"**_

_**He had to concentrate very hard to even remember what it was, being this near to her and seeing her clad in only her night clothes and a robe made him suddenly feel very weak. He had no way of knowing that he was having the very same effect on her at the moment.**_

_**Suddenly reality hit him and his mind cleared, remembering that the King had ordered him to escort the Queen to his chamber immediately. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and suddenly looked very serious.**_

"_**Joseph, what is it, what's wrong? Has something happened?" She quickly interrupted his thoughts yet again, her smile now vanishing as apprehension took over.**_

"_**No, no, Your Majesty. Nothing's wrong, it's just that the King requests your presence immediately in his suite." The words seemed to rush past his lips.**_

"_**And he sent you to get me?" She asked in a low whisper.**_

"_**Yes, Your Majesty. And you should know that he appears to be intoxicated and is not alone, or at least he was not when I left him a few minutes ago in the hall outside of his suite." Joseph tried to warn.**_

"_**Who is with him, Joseph?" He could hear the slight tremble in her voice.**_

"_**The Viscount Mabry, I'm afraid." At those words she suddenly swayed and Joseph caught her before she could completely loose her balance.**_

"_**Thank you, Joseph." She spoke after a few moments and took a deep breath as to try and steady her nerves. "I think you can let go now and I promise to try and not faint this time." She attempted to lighten the situation and smiled sadly at him.**_

_**A single tear escaped her eye and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and wiping away the moisture with the pad of his thumb. He felt his breathing quicken as her eyes stared into his. She neither spoke nor tried to pull away.**_

_**A loud knock at the door interrupted the moment, bringing both of them back to reality. "Perhaps, you would care to change before meeting with the King?" Joseph spoke, hoping he hadn't spoken out of turn or been too bold to suggest such a thing.**_

"_**Thank you, Joseph." She smiled and cupped his cheek for the very first time. "I think I would." He couldn't stop the joy that rushed through his heart at that mere gesture.**_

_**The doors suddenly burst open and Gaylord stepped in to inform them that the King was most unhappy and did not like to be kept waiting and that she must come with him right then.**_

"_**Just one moment, Gaylord and I will be right with you. I just need a moment to change." The Queen said turning to go back into her bedchamber, but Gaylord quickly interrupted earning an astonishing look from Joseph.**_

"_**May I remind you, Your Majesty, that the King did say he wanted to see you at once? There is no time for you to change now, you must come with me!" He stated emphatically.**_

"_**Very well!" She replied and sent a quick glance in Joseph's direction. As she followed Gaylord through the sitting room and out the doors, he caught up with her and whispered just loud enough for her to hear. "I'm coming with you, don't worry!"**_

To Be Continued……………………….


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks to nofearonlylove, luvhector, RevSue, DameJules, Nikki, ProperlyPrim18, mainer2121, and of course Prettycrazy for all of your wonderful reviews! They are very much appreciated! Remember: Everything italicized is either a dream or the past! Enjoy and Thanks, Gina

**Warning: There is one little tiny slightly sexual encounter that could be considered violent, I guess!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_**As they entered the King's chambers, Joseph could tell right away from one look at His Majesty's face that something wasn't right, although he really couldn't put his finger on it; he knew something had to be very wrong with this situation. He knew the King had been drinking heavily all evening, but somehow, there was just something about the King's eyes that made a knot form in the pit of his stomach as he thought about Clarisse being left alone at the mercy of the King and the Viscount.**_

"_**You wanted to see me, Rupert?" She asked upon entering the King's sitting room and noticing the two men sitting on the sofa.**_

"_**I certainly did, Clarisse. However I did not expect to be kept waiting so long for your arrival nor do I appreciate it!" His voice was tinged with anger and he kept glancing suspiciously between her and Joseph.**_

"_**Ramirez, you can go now!" He suddenly tried to order Joseph out, while the Viscount looked on seemingly amused at the situation.**_

"_**Rupert…Joseph is my bodyguard and I would prefer it if he stayed." Clarisse quietly pointed out.**_

"_**Are you saying you need protection from me, your own husband?" He spat out as he jumped up, his eyes boring into hers, causing Clarisse to suddenly jump back a little.**_

"_**Of course not, Rupert!" She sighed and then turned to Joseph, fearing that if he stayed it would only make matters worse and she knew she desperately didn't want Rupert to take anything out on him. "Joseph, it's alright, you may go ahead and leave now." She silently pleaded with her eyes for his understanding.**_

"_**As you wish, Your Majesty." He gave her a slight nod letting her know he understood and hoping she would understand that he would be waiting right outside the door. Eying both the King and Viscount one last time, he turned to leave, hoping he was doing the right thing.**_

_**Joseph swore under his breath while pacing back and forth outside the King's door. How much longer would she be in there? The waiting was killing him! He'd have given anything to stay in that room and protect his Queen, but how do you protect her from the King?**_

_**A couple of minutes later the door suddenly flew open as Clarisse rushed past him without uttering a single word. He knew something was deeply wrong as he hurried after her; she never stopped or looked back until she reached her rooms and then quickly glanced behind her, her eyes seeking his.**_

_**Joseph immediately rushed past the guards outside her room, noting that she had purposely left the doors open for him to enter. Still, upon seeing her standing there peering out the window of her sitting room, he cleared his throat and waited for her to speak.**_

_**It was dark and raining outside and he could see her suddenly shiver against the window pane as her hand came up to swipe at the tears that had already begun to flow. At this, he could no longer remain still and immediately moved to stand at her side.**_

"_**Your Majesty, are you alright?" He gently touched her arm.**_

_**She smiled a watery smile as her eyes fell upon the gentle way in which he touched her arm. "Joseph, do you believe in true love?" She suddenly surprised him with her question.**_

"_**Yes, I suppose I do." He replied honestly, only thinking of how much he loved and cared for her at this moment.**_

_**Her gaze suddenly returning to the darkness beyond the window, she sighed deeply. "You already know that I did not marry Rupert for love and you also know that in the beginning of my marriage, I had a difficult time trying to be the wife to Rupert that he wanted me to be. I still do." She explained, still keeping her gaze fixed on the window.**_

_**He didn't know all the details of what that time must have been like for her, but he felt that he knew enough to know that it was certainly not her fault. He decided not to interrupt as it was a rare thing for Clarisse to really open up about herself, so instead he just stood quietly at her side and listened intently to what she had to say.**_

"_**Tonight…tonight….." She barely managed to choke out, her body beginning to tremble again, but not from the cold.**_

_**Unable to stop himself, Joseph suddenly pulled her into his arms, not caring if she were angry at him later for his actions, right now he just knew she needed to be held. At first she stiffened at the contact, but after a few moments she began to sob as he rubbed her back and held her close, whispering gently in her ear.**_

"_**Just let it all out, Clarisse! That's right, just let it out!" He continued to whisper, her head on his shoulder as her arms unconsciously wrapped around his neck. **_

_**When the tears began to cease somewhat she finally spoke, but did not pull back or try to step away. "Tonight, I just couldn't do the things he asked of me to do, Joseph." **_

_**The fact that he had called her Clarisse for the first time while holding her had just dawned on him; having her in his arms even like this was more than he could hardly stand as he tried to keep his breathing under control.**_

"_**Something…something was different about him." She spoke through her tears. "He made comments to the Viscount about how beautiful I was even after having had two children. The Viscount agreed and the next thing I know, Rupert is practically ordering me to take off my clothes." She began to tremble again.**_

"_**Well, naturally I refused and turned to leave, but before I could go any further, Rupert stopped me and shoved me against the wall, pinning me there." Joseph could feel his blood begin to boil as every muscle in his body tensed with anger, causing Clarisse to suddenly pull back and look at him with a frightened expression.**_

_**Realizing that he was causing her more pain and worry, he tried to relax a little and softened his expression. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty, please go on." He whispered.**_

_**She laid her head back on his shoulder and peered up at him. "I had hoped that maybe you were going to continue to call me Clarisse now, since you did before, at least when we are alone." She whispered softly.**_

_**He couldn't help but smile down at her, still not sure whether maybe he was dreaming or if holding her in his arms was real. **_

"_**As you wish, Clarisse!" Her next few words left him no doubt that this was real though, as he felt his anger again rising rapidly.**_

"_**The Viscount was suddenly there next to Rupert as he held my arms above my head and untied my robe." Joseph didn't think he could stand to hear much more.**_

"_**Oh Joseph, I was so frightened!" She cried into his shoulder, clinging to him like some small frightened child that needed his warmth rather than the Queen of his country that she was.**_

"_**Did they hurt you?" He finally dared to ask through a clenched jaw.**_

"_**No!" She whispered immediately, knowing the truth of what he was really asking her. **_

"_**They just frightened me, the Viscount started touching me when Rupert came to his senses and let me go. They were arguing with each other as I left the room." She assured him.**_

_**Joseph felt somewhat relieved that nothing further had taken place, and yet, still the guilt he felt for what had happened to her was insurmountable. **_

"_**Clarisse?" He spoke her name. "You should know that if anything more should have happened to you in there this evening, I would never have been able to forgive myself. I'm not sure I can, even now."**_

"_**I know." She stated simply in reply and pulled away to once again stare out at the darkness through the window.**_

_**Joseph wasn't sure what he should do at this point. Why had she pulled away from him now? He wondered to himself. "Clarisse, may I ask you something?"**_

"_**Of course, Joseph." She replied without turning around.**_

"_**Why did you ask me earlier if I believed in true love?" She suddenly glanced back for a moment clearly surprised by his question before abruptly turning back to face the window.**_

"_**It was just a silly question, Joseph. I wasn't thinking clearly when I asked you that." She lied nervously.**_

"_**Well, do you?" He turned it around.**_

"_**Do I what? Believe in true love?" She couldn't believe he was now asking her that.**_

"_**Yes. Do you believe in true love Clarisse?" He stepped closer and turned her face to his. She gasped as his eyes bore into hers.**_

"_**No…no…I quit believing in such things a very long time ago." She lied again.**_

_**It was in that instant, that time seemed to stand still and her heart spoke to his and said the things that she could not say with her lips. In that moment, he knew exactly what she needed of him and wasted no more time in showing her what that was.**_

_**He closed the distance between them and laid his hands on her shoulders. "No, you haven't!" He whispered.**_

_**She looked up at him nervously, longingly. Slightly shaking her head she begged nearly inaudible, "No!"**_

_**But he didn't listen. His right hand caressed her cheek and when she almost melted under his touch he used his other hand to cup her face. When he slowly bent down she breathed, "Oh my God!" and closed her eyes.**_

_**It seemed to last an eternity until their lips finally met in a first brief attempt to explore the feeling that would come with this touch.**_

**_Never before in her entire life had Clarisse experienced such a surge of emotions. She felt frightened and happy all at once. She didn't want the sensation to end and when his lips started to caress hers with tenderness and longing, her knees weakened and her hands stroked up his back to finally hold onto his shoulders for dear life._**

**_Joseph fought his own battle. When she didn't pull away, he dared to venture further and enveloped her mouth with his. He let his hands wander down to her back and her waist to hold her as close as possible._**

_**Clarisse thought she was drowning in him. When she sensed his tongue trying to part her lips, she opened her mouth and let him in. The tip of his tongue meeting hers sent shivers up and down her spine and she started to tremble. Her heart raced and she could feel the drum in his chest resonate through her ribcage. She was losing control.**_

_**Joseph knew he had to stop. Though he had longed to kiss her for a long time, he hadn't been prepared for the avalanche of longing he experienced right now. Her body seemed to be a part of his and he didn't want to let her go. But if he wanted to keep her, he would have to now.**_

_**With great difficulty he removed his lips from hers. Showering her face with wet kisses he whispered, "I will see you tomorrow."**_

_**Without waiting for her reply, he left abruptly.**_

**That was one heck of a long night, Joseph thought wryly to himself. Glancing over at his beautiful wife once more and those incredible lips of hers, he snuggled close and went to sleep thinking about that first magical kiss they had shared so long ago and soon began to dream of shortly after when they had come to this very cabin and made love for the very first time.**

**To Be Continued……………………**


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks so much to RevSue for editing this chapter and to Prettycrazy for all of her encouragement, I dedicate this chapter and the next one to the two of you! Thanks also to everyone who has left reviews for me such as: I luv Julie Andrews, mainer2121, RevSue, Prettycrazy, Shakayla, OSUSprinks, Nikki, ProperlyPrim18, ModernMillie, nofearonlylove, tayryn, and CJmynixMG. They are all so appreciated! Try and hold the tomatoes b/c this one is a huge cliffhanger, but working right now on Chp 20 to get it finished and posted ASAP! Thanks again and enjoy, Gina

**Chapter Nineteen**

_**Even in his sleep, Joseph could still remember how his heart had ached after the King had suddenly informed him that Gaylord would be taking his job of guarding the Queen and he would now be responsible for the well being of His Majesty, if only he had kept himself in check a little more and had not gone to the King behind Clarisse's back. Oh God, what had he done?**_

_**The days following the night of that sweet first kiss drove Joseph to near insanity and when the Viscount Mabry had finally left and been on his way, Joseph had decided it was time that he had a talk with His Majesty about the treatment of the Queen. He would be respectful and diplomatic but would somehow make the King see that this was not the way for Her Majesty to be treated and that as her personal body guard, Joseph needed to be certain that this sort of thing never happened again. He had never been the type of man to just stand by and allow someone to be mistreated, that was a part of who he was and why he had entered into the field of Security, quickly becoming known as one of the best at his trade. If he saw an injustice being done, he had to find a way to right it, to bring those who would pose a threat to whomever he was protecting to their knees, if need be. However, what was one to do when that very person was the King of Genovia?**_

_**He should have seen it coming somehow. Two weeks before, Joseph had gone to the King privately to confront him about what had transpired that night after the Grand Ball. When he had carefully raised the subject, His Majesty had denied that any such occurrence had ever taken place. At first, Joseph thought the King was denying it intentionally, but it didn't take him long to understand that the King truly had no recollection of that evening other than the Viscount had spent some time there at the Palace as his guest, leaving Joseph at a loss as to what to do next.**_

_**Then he thought that perhaps Gaylord could be of some help, yet not really feeling he could trust the man all that well, he decided to just remain quiet and keep his eyes open. As far as the Queen was concerned, she had never once made an attempt to bring up the subject of that night, nor of the passionate kiss they had shared. She seemed to be keeping her distance from him even when they were left alone together in the same room. Only when she felt that no one was watching she would look at him, her eyes full of longing. As soon as he caught catch her gaze, she would quickly avert her eyes as if nothing had happened. He hadn't been sure how much longer he could go on in this manner, but now, he didn't have to. He was no longer responsible for his Queen! In the months that followed, he rarely had time to see her and when he did she seemed more and more withdrawn from him each time. Oh sure, she put on the performance of the Queen for all to see, but he knew her, knew her so well, knew her spirit that no one else could see and he knew that spirit was breaking, just as his own was.**_

_**Around four months had now passed, one week, three days, and let's see…..seven hours? Joseph couldn't seem to stop himself from counting the time that had passed since the night he had held Clarisse in his arms and had reveled in the feeling of that first kiss. Would it now also be the last kiss that they would ever share? Oh, surely not, he wouldn't let it be, he swore to himself. He had to find her and fast!**_

_**Last night had been the grand celebration of the King's birthday and all of the elite of Genovia had been invited to attend, even the former Queen had made an appearance for this special occasion. Joseph let his mind wander back briefly to the night before. **_

_**He had actually been looking forward to this event, normally he hated such occasions but he was desperate to see Clarisse even if it had to be from just across a crowded ballroom. He stood just behind the King as Her Majesty glided down the hallway toward them, just outside the ballroom door, where the King and Queen were expected to make their grand entrance together.**_

_**He couldn't help his sudden sharp intake of breath as he caught his first glimpse of her; he felt his knees going weak at the sight of her. To say she was breath taking would be putting it mildly, she was exquisite! Her blonde tendrils of hair were put up in a most intricate of hairstyles that clearly accentuated her beautiful face while the gown she wore, Oh God, Joseph could hardly breathe as his pulse raced out of control. The gown she wore was one of the color of scarlet, off the shoulder with a tight but very low cut bodice that dipped seductively just at the neckline and fit in all of the right places, showing off her perfectly gorgeous slender figure with the skirt long, full, and flowing beautifully as she walked.**_

_**He knew he needed to get control over himself and fast. Taking a deep breath, Joseph discreetly cleared his throat, closing his eyes momentarily as the King and Gaylord suddenly turned, stepping a few feet away and engaged in a hushed conversation, leaving only Joseph there to welcome Her Majesty as she steadily approached.**_

_**Upon opening his eyes, his breath caught in his throat once more at the vision that stood before him, staring openly into his eyes with longing and could it be a hint of desire, he saw there? Just as he recognized it, the hint was gone in a mere flash when the King, Gaylord at his heels, returned. His Majesty offered the Queen his arm and they made their entrance into the ballroom, a smile plastered on Her Majesty's face as they greeted their guests. The men in the room couldn't tear their eyes away from her and the women in the room watched her with envy, or so it seemed to Joseph.**_

_**The following day proved to be rainy and very drearisome, matching the mood of the Queen as both her little boys were to leave that morning for St. Hugh's Boarding School, located just south of London in England. Joseph watched as the King bid his quick goodbyes to both boys while Clarisse, very pale and misty eyed, barely managed to hold it together. Somehow she succeeded, and to the average person it would seem that she was rather emotionless about the parting, but Joseph saw through it all, way down deep into her very soul.**_

_**She remained on his mind constantly throughout the entire day and he hoped that somehow he might get an opportunity to speak with her, but it never happened. That is when he got the news. King Rupert had invited several of the guests who had attended his birthday celebration to stay at the palace for a few days including none other than the Viscount Mabry. Joseph had tried hard to keep his eye on the snake, but of course, there were a few times that it was just near impossible as he had a job to do guarding His Majesty.**_

_**Then Gaylord informed the King that the Queen was missing. She had apparently headed to the stables, unbeknownst to anyone. Try though they had to find her, they had not been successful. To make matters worse, a terrible storm had blown in, rains and winds that made it impossible to see. Now, after several hours of searching for her, it was approaching nightfall and there was still no word or sign of her whereabouts. The King was furious and when the palace was suddenly plunged into complete darkness due to the power outage from the storm, he ordered that Joseph be the one to search for Her Majesty. Joseph was grateful for that. From the first moment he had learned she was in danger, he had immediately begun preparing to go in search of her whether or not the King granted him permission to do so.**_

_**It was now barely light outside and the rain drove down on him relentlessly in full force. Scarcely managing to stay on top of his horse, Joseph scoured the palace grounds in search of her, flashlight in hand. He was beginning to feel a little panicked! The always cool, calm, collected Joseph who could handle any given situation suddenly felt as if his stomach was twisting in knots as he kept on searching, desperate to find the only woman he had ever loved or could love. Finally when it seemed that all hope was lost, he stopped and fell to his knees on the ground. Closing his eyes, he envisioned her and concentrated solely on her and her alone. With his mind and heart he spoke to hers and suddenly he knew exactly where she was. Gathering his strength and remounting his horse, his adrendeline kicked in as he now swiftly tried to make his way to her still limp form.**_

_**He gasped loudly, his eyes suddenly falling upon her, lying motionless on the ground as the rain pelted down on her porcelain skin. Joseph jumped down abruptly from his horse and closed the distance to his Queen, immediately checking her pulse as he shone the light on her delicate face. She stirred in his arms at the contact.**_

"_**Joseph!" She breathed his name, opening her eyes and staring into his.**_

_**Filled with joy that he had found her, he swallowed hard and began to check her for any signs of injury, running his hands along her smooth wet skin. "Your Majesty, are you injured any where?" He asked gently, swallowing hard as he noticed how her body shuddered under his touch.**_

"_**I may have a few scrapes and bruises, especially up and down my leg here, and my head thoroughly hurts, but other than that….." She never got a chance to finish her sentence as lightening suddenly flashed in the sky followed shortly by a large clap of thunder causing Clarisse to almost bolt from under Joseph's careful gentle touch on her leg. Then her face immediately reddened, realizing what her sudden movements had caused upon feeling his hand trapped tightly between her clenched thighs.**_

_**She shivered uncontrollably now, her breathing afire and most erratic, her clothes slightly torn and clinging to her body, drenched heavily from the onslaught of rain, while her hair glistened with beads of water as it matted around her face. Joseph couldn't help but think how utterly beautiful she was even with her face flushed a crimson scarlet.**_

_**He smiled down at her and quickly tried to remove his hand and focus his thoughts on her safety, but when he accidentally brushed against her center in his haste, his body immediately reacted, causing him to take in a sharp breath. He didn't dare look at her.**_

_**Trying to get his breathing under control among other things, he spoke swiftly. "We must get you somewhere warm and out of this storm, Your Majesty!" She merely nodded.**_

_**Locking his eyes with hers he suddenly lifted her into his arms as if they were under a spell, neither speaking nor able to look away as her arms wound themselves tightly around his neck. **_

_**Another loud clap of thunder resounded in their ears, causing Clarisse to once again almost jump frightfully in his arms as she clung a little tighter. She had never liked thunderstorms; he remembered her once telling him that.**_

"_**Damn!" Joseph suddenly cursed to himself as he turned around and realized his horse had spooked and taken off. "Don't worry, Your Majesty." He tried to reassure her. "I'll carry you, there's a cabin just up ahead, I'll take you there." He found himself shouting to her over the sound of the storm, he just hoped to somehow find his way through the rain and darkness now surrounding them as the last bit of light faded away behind the looming clouds. **_

_**The storm was worsening, but at least Joseph now recognized exactly where they were and that they were getting much closer to the cottage. It was not much further, which was a good thing because even with the aid of the flashlight, it was getting near impossible to clearly make things out around them any more.**_

_**By the time Joseph stumbled up to the door of the small cottage with his precious burden held securely in the safety of his arms, he was exhausted. Twice, since he had lifted her into his arms she had tried to persuade him she could walk and make things easier for him, but he had flatly refused. She had scared him so much with her disappearance that he wasn't about to let her go so easily and reveled at being able to hold her close even out in the midst of a furious storm.**_

_**He carefully set her down on her feet, still holding her steady against him until she could find her balance.**_

"_**Ohhhh my…my ankle!" She suddenly winced, nearly stopping Joseph's heart for a moment.**_

"_**Your Majesty, are you alright?" He couldn't help but cringe at the sound of pain etched in her voice.**_

"_**Yes, yes I just can't put any weight on this ankle." She shifted a little uncomfortably as the two of them were trying hard to avoid the debris the wind kept hurling in their direction.**_

_**Joseph was doing his best to shield her body with his from the wrath of the storm as he reached in his pocket in search of the key to open the door. Finally he was able to find it but the door seemed to be stuck and refused to budge. Assuring Clarisse was steady with her weight on her good leg, he rammed the door with his shoulder, causing it to immediately burst open.**_

_**Scooping his Queen up into his arms once again, he carried her over the threshold, stumbling slightly in the dark as he reached for the light switch to no avail. "Power's out!" He mumbled in the dark.**_

"_**Oh!" Was Clarisse's only reply as he carried her carefully through the dark and set her down on the edge of the couch, before going back and securing the door.**_

"_**What is this place?" Joseph suddenly heard her ask through chattering teeth. His own body was beginning to feel numb from the rain and cold.**_

"_**Well, it's sort of like a cabin or a guest house; you could say that the servants share, when they want to entertain family or friends, per se. The King thought it would be a good use for this old place. It's small but can be very cozy." He had already found the candles and matches and quickly began to light them; next he went to the hearth to start a fire. He knew she must be shivering by now; she was being awful quiet all of a sudden. **_

"_**Your Majesty?" He looked over at her and almost froze as he noticed her eyes completely focused on him and him alone. It was almost as if she was undressing him with her eyes and he found it exciting, she seemed mesmerized. If it weren't for her starting to shiver so violently now, he would have let her continue her sensual exploration of his body with her eyes.**_

"_**Ahem." He coughed and then cleared his throat, snapping her out of her spell. "Your Majesty, we are both going to need to get out of these wet clothes before we catch our deaths." **_

_**There, the fire was really going now as he stretched his hands above the flames to warm himself before turning his attention back to his Queen. "I'll just grab some blankets and we can use those until our clothes are dry………"**_

"_**No Joseph, I will be just fine the way I am, the rain will let up soon and then we can go back home." She interrupted, still shivering with every breath she took.**_

"_**Your Majesty?" Joseph spoke firmly, a little irritation creeping into his voice. "The storm could last all night. If we stay in these wet clothes, we are sure to have pneumonia by the morning. We must get you warm and dry."**_

_**She glared at him, her face angry as she responded. "Fine, Joseph, but the moment they are dry or the storm lets up, I intend to go home. Is that understood?"**_

_**What on earth was she trying to imply? He wondered to himself. "Yes madam, my thoughts exactly, Your Majesty." Joseph muttered.**_

**Back in the palace in Mia's suite, she suddenly started as lightning flashed through the window almost making her jump, upsetting the journal that lay open on her lap, sending it falling to the floor as her room was thrust into complete darkness. It was eerie being alone in the quiet of her rooms; she pulled herself together and moved around to open a drawer to a small table containing a flashlight. Soon she was able to set out several candles and completed the task of lighting them one after the other, but then stopped as she noticed a piece of paper in the floor, more like an envelope. Carefully picking it up, she noticed the name "Marie" written on the front of it in her grandmother's beautiful handwriting.**

**Noticing the envelope was no longer sealed she peeked inside and discovered a note and another envelope which was sealed. She slowly read the note. "Dearest Marie." It said. "I would like you to keep this for me for a while until I can decide what I wish to do. You are the only person, I can trust with this. I fear what it could mean for so many people were I to be discovered with it. Thank you, Marie! Love, Risse**

**Mia eyed the sealed envelope and what was written on it. Only one word was written in that same familiar handwriting. "Joseph"**

**To Be Continued……………………………………**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

**Thanks to everyone who has helped and given me feedback and I do apologize for the long wait! A special thanks to Revsue for being my beta and taking the time to edit this for me! Hope you enjoy and as always please leave a review!**

_**Joseph quickly retrieved a few blankets, bringing one to Her Majesty first. He tried to read her expression, his heart thumping wildly as he saw anger, uncertainty, maybe even a hint of fear flash through her beautiful eyes.**_

_**He studied her for a moment as she tried to wriggle out of her coat, suddenly letting out a sharp cry of pain. "Your Majesty?" He was immediately at her side.**_

"_**It's okay, Joseph. I'm alright." She panted out through gritted teeth.**_

"_**Forgive me, Your Majesty, but you seem far from alright." He challenged her, his eyes boring into hers.**_

"_**How dare you question my judgment, Joseph? I SAID I'm alright!" She was clearly irritated with him now, although he still had no clue as to the reason why.**_

"_**And I said, you don't seem alright at all, Clarisse!" He would show her that he could be every bit as stubborn as she was. Oh God, had he just called her Clarisse? He wondered if she had noticed and if she remembered when she'd told him how she'd hoped he would call her Clarisse.**_

_**She glared at Joseph. Had it been any lesser man on the receiving end of that heated glare, he would have long since melted under its power.**_

"_**Would you mind telling me just one other thing, Your Majesty?" Her eyes softened slightly but continued to stare into his. "Is it something I've done?" He asked blatantly. **_

"_**Joseph..what…what do you mean?" She replied in a quiet voice. He could tell by the way she dropped her eyes and focused on her fidgeting hands that he'd taken her by surprise with his direct question.**_

"_**You're angry with me and I would just like to know the reason why." He replied boldly as he knelt down in front of her, one of his hands coming to rest beside her on the arm of the couch.**_

_**She gasped at his nearness as her eyes fell upon his hand; she seemed unable to look away. Joseph watched her as only silence could be heard in the room and waited for her to respond. It was then that he abruptly noticed that she was now visibly shaking and could have cursed himself for not already getting her dry and warm. He knew he'd never forgive himself if anything happened to her because of his foolish pride.**_

"_**I'm…I'm not angry with you Joseph. Please don't think that!" Her eyes darted to his for a moment before she looked back down at her hands and sighed. "I'm angry at myself and…and…oh never mind. It doesn't matter now and it never will." Her voice broke with emotion and all Joseph found himself wanting to do was to pull her into his arms, hold her close and never let her go again.**_

_**Instead, he took her by the arms and spoke firmly. "Your Majesty, we must get you out of these wet things immediately and I don't want to hear any more arguments. If anything were to happen to you….." His voice trailed off.**_

_**This time she gave a small smile. "Alright Joseph, but I might need your help. You'll just have to close your eyes, alright?" She conceded.**_

"**_Of course, Your Majesty." Wondering how exactly he could help her with his eyes closed, he did as she requested._**

"_**Uh Joseph?" He heard her call to him and instinctively began to reopen his eyes. **_

"_**Keep them closed, please!" She warned, holding her now unbuttoned blouse together tightly in her hands.**_

"_**Sorry, Your Majesty." He immediately shut his eyes again and apologized.**_

"_**I…I need your help to pull this blouse over my head. It only buttons to about half way down and……..and……" Her voice trailed off again as she realized just how awkward and difficult this was going to be, especially with her clothes soaked and sticking to her body.**_

"_**Just tell me what you want me to do." Joseph replied calmly as he stood up, although inside his heart was beating out of control at the thought of what she was asking him to do.**_

_**She let out a long sigh and then spoke matter of factly. "This is foolish, Joseph. You are going to have to open your eyes in order to help me, it can't be helped, I suppose." Her voice sounded rather shaky to Joseph's ears.**_

"_**Are you certain, Your Majesty?" He replied still keeping his eyes tightly shut. "I would never want to do anything to ever cause you any sort of discomfort, please know that."**_

"_**I do know that, Joseph." She reached out without thinking and lightly brushed her hand over his, before abruptly drawing it back. "I feel so helpless and I hate feeling this way!" She whispered.**_

_**Carefully opening his eyes, he reached out towards her and took her hand in his, placing a gentle brief kiss upon it, before letting it go. "I know, but there is no shame in letting others help you." He spoke softly, lifting her chin and looking directly into her eyes.**_

"_**Alright Joseph, it seems I have no other choice at the moment and I'm freezing. So, please hurry." She grinned, a little more comfortable than before. Standing up on her good ankle, she pivoted a little so that her back was now facing him.**_

"_**Yes madam." He teased before letting out a deep breath he had been unaware he was holding. Reaching under the fabric of her blouse with his hands shaking ever so slightly, he carefully began to raise it up over her head.**_

_**Everywhere his fingers had touched her; he could now see goose bumps along the flesh of her arms. He couldn't help but wonder if they were from her being cold or from his touch. Probably from the first but he sincerely hoped it was because of the latter a little too.**_

_**The air in the small cabin was thick with tension, both Joseph and Clarisse breathing heavily. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the smooth silky skin of her neck and bare shoulders. His thoughts suddenly flew to how he imagined her breasts would look and feel if he were to bury his head between them, causing his body to instantly react. Oh God! Breathe Joseph, he reminded himself, just breathe, damn it!**_

_**Grateful that she could not see the reaction his body was having to her nearness, he dropped her blouse to the floor and proceeded to the zipper on the back of her skirt, but suddenly stopped as he heard her sharp intake of breath. As if his hands were moving of their own accord, he quickly undid the zipper and watched with a glazed look in his eyes as his hands glided over the curve of her hips like butterflies, up her lovely spine and came to rest upon her beautiful bare shoulders, filling him with an overwhelming need to taste and touch her there like never before.**_

_**As if in a trance, his lips found the sensitive skin between her neck and shoulder. He began placing tiny little seductive kisses there that caused her head to loll back as her eyes closed; a deep moan escaping her throat. He couldn't get enough. Cupping her face with his hand, he suddenly brought her lips back to meet his, kissing her with an immense hunger that was all at once powerful and devastating.**_

_**The kiss seemed to deepen impossibly further and then go and on until he felt lightheaded from lack of air. When his lungs had betrayed him, he broke off the kiss causing Clarisse's eyes to suddenly flutter open and stare straight into his eyes, her breathing just as ragged as his own.**_

_**The spell with which he had been taken by complete surprise had suddenly been broken and he realized that she was looking at him in shock, a confused expression on her face. He was at a loss for words to explain his behavior; the same confused look reflected in his own eyes, he was certain. **_

_**Her eyes closed again, but not before he saw the fear and pain that flashed through them, piercing his heart like a knife. How could he have done this to her? Given in to his own selfish desires? He was racking his brain trying to come up with some sort of suitable apology, anything that would take that look out of her eyes. Before he could find the words to say, she had hobbled away, removed her skirt, grabbed the blanket he had lain on the edge of the small couch for her and wrapped herself in it as she collapsed back down upon the simple piece of furniture.**_

_**He had never witnessed such vulnerability before in his life and knew he needed to say something fast, fighting the urge to take her into his arms again and kiss away all of her pain, but how could he, when he was the one who had put it there?**_

"_**Clarisse….I" He tried to find his voice as he kneeled down before her.**_

"_**Please don't, Joseph!" She put her hand up to stop his words. "Please don't, I…I wanted that kiss as much as you did." She stared deep into his eyes and then looked away, suddenly focusing on the flames of the fire as a piece of wood crackled.**_

"_**Then I'm afraid I don't understand….." He replied shakily, still shivering somewhat from his damp clothes, but his attention focused only on his queen.**_

"_**No, I'm certain you don't." She quietly interjected. Explaining nothing further, her eyes never left the glow of the leaping flames.**_

"_**I want to!" He spoke passionately, suddenly desperate to find her hand and take it in his.**_

_**Sighing heavily as he gently stroked the back of her hand; she looked down and focused on their entwined hands. "Please Joseph, get yourself warmed up and then I will try and explain myself if I can, alright?"**_

"_**Of course!" He replied. Placing a small kiss to her hand, he let go and moved to divest himself of his own wet clothes and retrieve the other blanket before hanging their things by the fire to dry. **_

"_**May I?" He motioned to the floor in front of her once again. He wanted to be able to see her face and yet he wanted her to rest her sore ankle. **_

_**She nodded slightly and he made himself comfortable before her once again. "Are you certain you are all right down on the floor like that? I could just move my leg and you could sit up here?"**_

"_**I'm quite comfortable where I am." He lied. His knees had started hurting him this past year after the incident of him saving her life, but he wouldn't tell her that. All he cared about was that this woman whom he cared about with his entire being and had been apart from for nearly four months was hurting and finally now she was going to try and open up to him a little. He could certainly hide his discomfort for a little while.**_

_**She sent him a look as if she didn't quite believe he was telling her the truth before dropping her eyes to her lap. Letting out a long sigh, she pulled the blanket tighter around her still slightly trembling form.**_

"**_Are you warm enough, Your Majesty?" He asked his voice full of concern as he studied her closely._**

"**_Are we back to Your Majesty, again now, Joseph?" She grinned softly at him._**

_**A small smile tugged on his lips as he realized she had noticed and remembered about him calling her, Clarisse. "Forgive me, please." He spoke sincerely, their eyes suddenly meeting and locking together. Her eyes traveled from his, down over his hard tanned chest, to the blanket that was draped around his waist. Joseph couldn't help but feel his body suddenly become very warm and start to respond at the way she was openly staring at him. He had to move and fast.**_

"_**Uhhhh Clarisse, I'll be right back." He was at once on his feet and in the small kitchen rummaging through a cabinet. Finding what he was after, he returned with a bottle of brandy and two small glasses.**_

_**She tucked a stray whisp of hair behind her ear; he could tell she was embarrassed. Her eyes refused to meet his, even when he sat back down and poured them both a drink. Shoving one into her hand and insisting she drink it to warm up, finally her eyes met his.**_

**Back in the palace in Mia's suite, the young queen sat there debating about whether or not she should open the envelope. Her grandmother would be furious with her for having invaded her privacy and yet, she already knew that curiosity would get the better of her. It always had. Taking a deep breath, she carefully broke the seal of the envelope and began to read what she thought must be the key to some of her grandmother's most well guarded secrets.**

"**My Dearest Joseph," She began to read.**

**To be continued……………………………..**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

"My Dearest Joseph," She began to read.

It has been over two weeks since you left the palace and I find I am no closer to coping with life without you than I was the day you left. My heart and my soul ache for you. I wonder if I will ever again see your face, feel your arms around me, or lose myself in your eyes and touch.

I need you, Joseph! You have to know that I never wanted you to go. The pain I feel not having you in my life is tearing me apart. I had to do it though! I just had to! Maybe some day you will understand why I did it. Why I sent you out of my life and said such cruel, awful things to you when all I truly wanted to do was throw myself into your arms and beg you to never let me go. You have no idea how hard it was for me to say such things to you and know that you would end up hating me because of them. I counted on your hatred though; I knew the only way you would ever leave me was if I angered you enough. I had to push you to that point; it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I could never bear to lose you or watch you suffer just because of me. That is why I had to let you go, it was the only way. That night at the cabin you gave me such a precious gift and I will treasure it always, but what you don't know and must never know is that that night along with your gift of love to me, we created a child together. I want this child so much, Joseph. Our child, but it hurts so much that once again duty must come first. I wish that it were possible for me to share this joy with you. You should be here. I should be in your arms right now, rejoicing with you for the miracle growing inside of me. Perhaps a beautiful little girl with your eyes and dark complexion and smile that lights up my world or a little boy that will follow in your footsteps and become the kind of wonderful man that his father is. Instead I am sad and bitter because you are not here and you cannot even know of your own child. I am so afraid of what could happen if the truth were known. I feel like such a coward, Joseph. You deserve to have a child of your own and I want nothing more than to give you that child. I can picture you being an amazing father.

How can fate be so cruel? How will I ever have our child and not be able to tell him who his father truly is? How will I survive each day without you by my side supporting me, loving me? There are times that I feel being Genovia's Queen is nothing more than a curse placed upon me. How will I ever get through this? Now that I know your touch, how will I ever endure living without it? How will I endure the times of Rupert insisting on his right into my bed when all I want is you? Oh Joseph………..

"Oh my god!" Mia dropped the journal, her hands flying to her face in shock.

Back in time at the cabin………..

It had been a long, agonizing night for the two of them. Clarisse had opened up somewhat and he felt as though she had begun to truly let him into her heart. He still found it hard to believe that this beautiful woman had feelings for him and had been trying to deny and fight her feelings for him just as he had been doing for her. They had talked for what seemed like hours. He had sat there soaking up everything she had been willing to share with him, knowing that it was rare that she showed so much of her inner self. She had told him of her childhood, the death of her brother and then her parents. The hurt she had suffered at the hands of Rupert. The dreams she had once allowed herself to have. The grief she had felt at having to send her little boys off to a boarding school at such a young age.

Now as he sat next to her on the couch, her legs across his lap and his arms around her, he knew from this night on he could never let her go. She loved him and that was enough. Though they would never be able to physically express their love for one another except maybe through a few stolen kisses, right now it seemed more than Joseph had ever dreamed about. She loved him. She truly loved him. She was his Queen and yet her heart belonged to him just as his heart belonged to her.

Clarisse seemed content to remain cuddled in his arms, drawing her strength from him. She was still wrapped in the warm blanket and he with one around his waist, neither cold any longer.

Joseph continued to hold her and whisper soothing words into her ear until he felt her body relax completely and he knew, beyond any doubt, that she was asleep. He lowered her gently down to the couch and let out a long sigh.

He sat, staring down at her beautiful, bruised face for a long time, the lighting coming from the fireplace illuminating her fragile features. Even with the bruises that were beginning to appear at her temple, she was still the loveliest woman he had ever seen. He felt that familiar ache inside of him, that overwhelming feeling of desire and love that so often consumed him when she was near. He drew in a shaky breath and tried to ease away from her unnoticed.

He had every intention of leaving her on the couch and spending the remainder of the night on the floor in front of the fireplace but Clarisse stirred as she felt him drawing away and her eyes fluttered open.

"Joseph? Where are you going?" He had managed to pull back from her and nodded towards the fireplace.

She reached out and her fingers closed around his arm. "No please. Don't leave. Just hold me, Joseph."

He pulled in a slow deep breath and then nodded, reluctantly. Holding her so close was against his better judgment but he couldn't refuse, couldn't turn away from her.

Scooting as far as she could over on the couch to make room for him, she beckoned with her eyes for him to join her, inviting him to lie down beside her.

He stifled a low moan as he lay down beside her and took her into his arms.

She instantly snuggled against him, her face brushing his neck, and sighed in contentment. "That's better." She whispered.

His arms closed around her and he kissed her forehead, gently. He could feel the curves of her body even through the blanket she wore and her arm tightened around his bare waist. The power this woman held over him left him breathless. He wondered if even Clarisse was aware of her own sensuality as he struggled against the strength of his passion for her. He had envisioned her naked body so many times, touching and tasting every inch of her, her arms and legs wrapped around him as they made love.

Joseph fought to control his breathing as he kept his hands pressed against her back, exerting every ounce of willpower he possessed to stop himself from….God, this was pure torture!

He had to focus on something else, something that would quell the longing throbbing through his body. He forced his mind on the Viscount Mabry and how that snake of a man always seemed to weasel himself into the palace. He would ask Clarisse later on if the Viscount had done anything during this last stay to upset her. It was just a feeling he had, but a very strong one that the Viscount had somehow bothered her yet again.

Passion was slowly replaced with what he'd like to do to the Viscount for putting his hands on Clarisse. That man had no right………He felt Clarisse stir against him and murmur something in her sleep. Joseph knew in his heart that he was quite capable of destroying anyone who threatened her.

She moaned again and unconsciously rubbed up against him, her blanket opening up a little and revealing the silky cream of her neck and the swell of her breasts. Joseph responded instantly, his entire body tensing with desire. Sliding down further, he kissed her lips softly. She didn't awaken but a deep sigh escaped her lips. His hands slid upwards toward her shoulders as his lips moved down to her neck, to the soft skin at the base of her throat.

He caressed the area with his mouth, the kiss as light as the touch of a butterfly's wing. He could smell her perfume and his head began to swim. His lips moved to her earlobe. In another minute, he would claim her mouth again, move his hands around to caress her beautiful breasts with the palms of his hands, tease her nipples, rolling them back and forth, pressing himself into her until she was begging him to………..

With a soft oath, he jerked away from her abruptly. Clarisse was instantly awake. "Joseph? What is it?"

"I can't do this, Clarisse!" He whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry. I can't!" He jumped up off the couch and quickly went over to the fireplace and laid down, his back toward her. He sensed her eyes watching him.

"Night, Your Majesty!" He said, gruffly. Her voice sounded small and hurt when she answered. "Good Night, Joseph."

To Be Continued………………………….


	22. Chapter 22

_**"Whirlwind of a Journey"**_

**_This is not a new chapter but one I deleted and am reposting, as is. For those of you who have not read it before, please enjoy! For the rest of you, just give me a few more days and I promise to have a brand new chapter for you all to read! Thanks so much for your patience and for all the wonderful response and interest in my stories. If you need to go back and reread from the beginning, now is the time to do it! Enjoy and leave feedback!!!_**

Thanks to Susan for being the best beta ever! Also thx to her I didn't go ahead and post only part of this chp but waited until the whole pear was completed...so no cliffhanger this time! Thx to Tay for her encouragement and thx to Diana for her inspiration!!!

Same disclaimers as always: Nothing belongs to me!!!

Enjoy!!!

Chapter Twenty Two

She hadn't heard him move for about half an hour, so she felt safe assuming that he had fallen asleep. It had hurt when he had pulled away from her so abruptly. Not so much physically, but because she needed him. He had a way of making her feel so safe in his arms, his very presence able to soothe her soul. Clarisse let a long sigh escape her lips, the look in Joseph's eyes as he had suddenly pushed away from her replaying in her head, sending shivers racing down her spine. She couldn't help but feel her heart begin to pound as she cautiously stole one more glance in his direction.

How could one man have such an effect on her? She had learned very quickly since becoming Rupert's wife and Queen how to erect this wall around her heart and emotions. It was the way she had learned to get through so many things that would have broken a lesser woman. She was the Queen, it was what was expected of her, but in Joseph's presence all of that changed. She did love him, she knew that, but it also was what frightened her the most as she realized that he had become her rock long ago and just how much she truly did depend on him. She swallowed hard and then took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart. He would be sleeping so close to her tonight and yet so far away. Why was that thought suddenly bothering her now?

Part of her desperately wanted him closer to her tonight; although she knew it couldn't happen. There was just something about that man. She would never admit this out loud, but she couldn't control what she thought about him or how she felt when he was near.

She listened to the sound of his breathing. Even that seemed to affect her. She shook her head, feeling silly as she squirmed, trying to get comfortable. She heard Joseph move in his sleep, turning towards her. Sneaking one final glance at his face, she could see his eyes were still closed. Unable to help herself, she allowed her gaze to travel from his face, down over his tanned muscular chest, to the blanket that was tucked securely at his waist. She suddenly felt herself blush as she imagined what lay beneath it.

She couldn't help the feeling that balled up inside of her. She couldn't control the way her body started to sweat beneath her own blanket. She especially couldn't control the feeling that began to pound between her legs. Just knowing that her body was doing this made her flush heavily. She turned to her other side, trying not to think about the undeniable feeling that was surging through her body. She had never felt it so strongly before. Now she couldn't think of anything but what it might feel like to have his body against hers, his scent mixed with hers and his mouth and tongue pressed into hers.

With a soft sigh, she swallowed hard and placed her damp hand against her neck. Her pulse was racing, and her hand felt like ice against her burning flesh. She gently ran her hand across her cheek and along her forehead. She desperately wanted a glass of water, but knew if she tried to get up and get it, Joseph would surely wake up and she just couldn't risk him seeing her so flustered.

She slowly loosened the blanket a little around herself, hoping that would cure her fit of warmth. She couldn't think of what she could do to stop the pounding that begged for her attention. Well, she could think of one thing, but that one thing just seemed too disgusting and improper, not something she had ever thought of attempting before. She blushed at the thought and shook her head. What is wrong with me? Pull yourself together, Clarisse! She silently scolded herself. At this moment, it suddenly didn't sound so disgusting or improper any more. Her mind was wandering and she couldn't control it. The more she thought about him, the more she felt her body respond to his closeness. The more her body responded, the harder it was to concentrate. It was a vicious cycle, it seemed. She couldn't get him out of her thoughts. She couldn't get the thoughts of his hands stroking her body out of her mind. When she closed her eyes, she saw things that she knew should never happen between herself and Joseph.

She heard him clear his throat in his sleep, and it made her heart skip a beat and her body quiver. She couldn't take it. She couldn't stop wondering what it would feel like to have Joseph's lips on every part of her body. She couldn't even begin to wonder how it would feel to have him inside of her, a part of her, making her feel things she had never felt before.

She pulled the blanket a little more away from her damp skin; she decided that was the best idea. She knew she couldn't uncover herself too much, but the cool air might feel nice against her skin. She was wrong! It only made things worse. She felt her nipples harden and she bit her lip to control the whimper that was about to escape. Her hands were trembling and her body was begging for release. She had ignored it since the first time she had had that feeling. She'd kept it to herself. She had never truly known that feeling with Rupert, but now as she lay here thinking of Joseph, she knew exactly how it felt to need, to desire and to want to give in to that temptation.

Her breath began to quicken. Her hands dropped to her sides and gripped the sides of the blanket and her toes curled. She couldn't take it, she just couldn't! She couldn't deny what was happening to her body. She couldn't lock up her emotions any more; her desires and torture herself forever.

Her eyes were glazed over with frustration now and she slowly gazed over at Joseph. God, what was she thinking? She couldn't think about this, let alone do anything with him just a few feet away. Somehow the thought made it more exciting. She couldn't believe herself. She couldn't believe herself. Unknowingly, her hand had already started inching over the blanket that covered her thighs. When she felt the cool air against her bare legs, she shuddered and nearly gasped.

I can't do this! I can't!

Her eyes studied his face, watching for any hint of him being awake. He was still and his eyes remained closed. His mouth was open only slightly and she could almost feel his breath. Her eyes wandered from his peaceful face to his broad shoulders. His hands were curled up resting out in front of him. She could see his finely toned chest sprinkled with dark curly hairs. What would it feel like to run her hands over his chest and through those curls? She bit her lip and she shook her head. She couldn't believe she was thinking of him this way. He was her bodyguard. No, not even her bodyguard any more but Rupert's bodyguard. It didn't matter. She couldn't stop her body from betraying her.

Her eyes fluttered closed, as her core began to throb harder. She couldn't take it any longer. She couldn't let herself lie there all night thinking about him; letting her body feel things she had never felt so strongly before. Her hand gripped the edge of the blanket. She suddenly felt even hotter than she did before. She sucked in the cool air, not noticing when Joseph's eyes fluttered open for a moment.

He could see her writhing under the blanket. He had heard her fidgeting for the past several minutes, yet he had been afraid to open his eyes. He had been afraid to look at her and see exactly what he had been seeing in his dreams. He wanted to ask her if she was all right, but somehow, he knew the answer to that. He peered through the slits of his closed eyes and he could see that the blanket was now just barely covering her. He could see her head fall back just a little, as she pulled the blanket up a little more over her body. God, what was she doing? He could only come to one conclusion and knowing Clarisse, he figured he was completely wrong.

She looked toward him again, seeing him still frozen in that same position. If only his back was turned. There was nothing she could do about that, and her hands were already pulling at her undergarments, trembling along the way. She couldn't stop herself, and she bit her lip, closing her eyes as she slipped the garments down to her ankles. She suddenly felt silly and resisted the urge to just pull them back up and somehow sneak out of the cabin before she did something she would regret. But when the incessant throbbing grew stronger, she slowly moved her hand up her thigh.

Her skin tingled all the way and her free hand gripped the edge of the cushion beneath her as the tension mounted. She moaned softly as she parted her legs, feeling her fingertips gently touch herself. She closed her eyes, her entire body trembling as she felt the need building. She wanted to cry out but she stopped herself, knowing his eyes could open at any moment. So she kept her eyes closed, lying as still as possible, as her hand began to explore her lower body.

She squirmed slightly, her fingertips brushing against the sensitive flesh. She sucked in a sharp breath, running her finger against the neglected flesh once more. She could feel the wetness on her fingers and she sighed softly, realizing how good it felt to touch the sensitive flesh she had never dared to explore before. Her hand still shook and her body continued to grow tense. She shut her eyes tightly, seeing his face. She could feel his hands on her, stroking her. She could feel his mouth against her neck; his tongue dueling with hers in the heat of her mouth. She could feel his fingers doing what her own were doing. God, it was incredible.

He heard her whimper slightly and he could see her face glisten with a thin coat of perspiration. He then heard a quiet moan escape her throat, and he knew exactly what she was doing. He couldn't deny the fact that it aroused him. He could feel his own heart beating, about to burst out of his chest. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to watch her, but he knew she'd never forgive him for that. He couldn't believe what he was witnessing. He had never thought she would do such a thing. But now, the reality of it made his desire for her grow stronger. He wanted to be her fingers. He wanted to explore her body. He wanted all of her.

Her fingers slipped across her nerve endings, torturing herself in ways that made her arch her back. Her eyes were closed so tightly and her own body was screaming so loudly, that she didn't notice when he rolled to his other side. He couldn't take the sight of her pleasing herself. It was too much for him, and his own body was about to explode. When he heard her choke back another moan, he stopped breathing. He considered turning back again before she noticed, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't do anything but listen to her muffled sounds of pleasure; while all he wanted to do was please her. He wondered if she was dreaming. He wondered who she was thinking of. Why in the hell would she think about him? He felt like an idiot.

"Joseph!" She whispered, not even able to stop herself. She gasped, not knowing what to do next. God, what if he'd woken up? What if he'd heard her say his name? What if…oh God. She couldn't even open her eyes. She couldn't entertain the possibility that he knew what she was doing to herself. He had to be asleep. He had to be.

To Be Continued………….

He had heard his name. His heart swelled and his arousal hardened as his name rolled from her tongue. He couldn't believe it, but his hand was already gripping the sides of his own blanket wrapped tightly around his waist. She's killing me. She's actually trying to kill me. I know it.

Before he knew it, his hands were tearing the blanket loose from himself. He slipped his hand inside and wrapped his fingers around his strong shaft, feeling it pulsating in his hands. All he could think about was what it would be like to feel her around him, gripping him, stroking him. He gasped at the feeling, and he slowly ran his thumb over the tip, feeling himself quivering, listening to the sound of her breath.

She turned to her side a little more, curling up under the blanket, hiding herself from the world. She took a deep breath, letting a finger slip inside of her body, exploring the idea of going further with this. Her other hand slipped inside of her bra and touched her hardened nipple. She felt her body react again, and as she slowly slipped another finger in, she rolled the taut nipple between her fingers, nearly moaning with pleasure.

His hand continued to stroke, hearing her muffled cries of pleasure. It drove him wild and heightened his arousal. He felt as if he was going to burst already, and the intensity was more pleasurable than any he'd felt before. Just thinking of her, picturing what she looked like underneath that blanket made him test his own threshold.

She tilted her head back again, arching herself, as she moved her fingers in and out, feeling her walls constrict around her. She couldn't describe the feeling. It was both frightening and wonderful at the same time. She couldn't believe she had never attempted this before. She couldn't believe she had thought it improper and disgusting. Her entire body was on fire. It was the most erotic experience she had ever encountered in her entire life.

Joseph closed his eyes tightly, feeling the dam about to break. He could feel her moving just feet away. He could hear his name ringing through the air, still firm in his memory. He wanted to hear her cry out. He wanted to hear his name on her lips again.

Her hand moved faster between her legs, her thumb clumsily circling around the flesh that made her hips feel the urge to jump each time she caressed it. Her fingers slipped deeper inside, and she could feel the pressure building up inside of herself. She didn't know what was happening, but she couldn't control her body any longer. Her toes curled so tightly that she thought she might break them. Her breathing had long ago turned into short, quick pants of breath, and she could feel her body tightening, each muscle tensing. She wanted to look at him, but her eyes were closed so tightly. She wanted to say his name, but words failed her.

He couldn't hold on any longer. It had been too damned long. He couldn't fight it. His entire body grew rigid, and he lost control, his mind shouting her name, screaming for her. Was she screaming for him?

Without warning, Clarisse's body gave way to the flood of completion. She gasped, feeling her body relax, and she slowly drew her hand back, feeling her need for him on her fingers. She couldn't believe what she had done; what the mere thought of him could do to her. How would she face him? How would she ever look at him and not think of this night?

She felt her body grow cold again, and she shivered under the blanket. She pulled her garments back into place, but they felt uncomfortable against her now. She wanted to swim or bathe or something. She wanted to get away and not think about him for a while. She now knew what his presence could do, and it frightened her. She wanted more. She wanted to know if he ever touched himself when he thought of her. Was she a fool? She didn't know. She only knew what felt right and what made her feel alive.

Joseph's forehead was damp with sweat now. His body was tired, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. She wasn't moving now either. They were both so still that it was uncomfortable. He knew she wasn't asleep. She had no idea he'd just witnessed it all. She had no idea he'd been doing the same thing she had been doing.

She sat up a little and could see that he had turned to his other side, and it made her heart stop beating for only a moment. Perhaps he'd rolled over in his sleep. Perhaps he'd woken up and turned to give her privacy. Her face blushed red, and she wanted to crawl under a rock. But, at the same time, the thought of him knowing what she had done made her mind start to wander again.

Joseph pulled the blanket tightly around his lower body and slowly rolled to his other side. His eyes locked with hers instantly, and he saw her jaw drop in shock. He didn't know what to say to her, and he wondered if she had known. He watched her look away, but her eyes drew back to his again. She couldn't speak. She was in too much shock to speak. She couldn't get her mind off of what she had just done; what she had dreamed of doing with him. How could she have let this happen? What if he knew?

His own desire started to grow again. Seeing her face flushed scarlet through the light of the fire, her hair unkempt and her blanket now just barely covering her upper body so much so that he could see her taut nipples through the fabric of her bra made him tense again. She wanted to cover herself, but she couldn't move.

Stop staring. Stop looking. Leave her alone. Go to sleep. She doesn't want this. He turned to his back, swallowing hard, but she didn't move. She could see him move to try to hide the fact that he wanted her. It was undeniable. And she wanted him too.

Finally, she moved, lying back down on the couch. Her center was starting to throb again. She couldn't control it anymore than she could before. She wanted to cry now, her frustrations growing too heavy to deal with alone.

He knew what was happening to her, and it had been so long for him. He hadn't held another woman in his arms since the day he had come to work for the royal family of the Genovian Palace. Never had he fully given himself to another the way that he wanted to with his Queen.

He turned to face her, not sure of how she would look at him. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to touch her as she had touched herself. She'd never let him, he was sure, but the thought of it made his heart race. He was shocked when she shifted to her side, her eyes staring right into his.

"Can't sleep," he said softly, not even bothering to ask. She shook her head. He sat up, his body drenched with sweat already. She noticed the way he trembled, and she sat up, her own body doing the same. She swallowed hard, seeing the need in his eyes; a need that matched the way she felt inside. She didn't know how to react to the sound of his voice or the look in his eyes. All she knew was what she wanted. All she knew was that he made her feel things she hadn't felt before.

She finally broke their gaze, and he knew she was embarrassed. He knew she knew now. She didn't need to say it or think it. They both knew what had happened, and there was no denying that.

"It's all right." he breathed. She looked into his eyes again. It was all there, his desire, his need, and his frustration. It matched hers.

"It is?" she whispered breathily.

He nodded. "Everything…it's all right." He held her eyes with his, neither able to look away.

Without warning, he was in front of her, his hands pulling her body close. Both blankets quickly discarded as his lips met hers; pulling her into the most passion-filled kiss she had ever been part of. She moaned as he pulled her into his lap. Gasping at feeling him so strong and powerful beneath her sensitive folds, Clarisse tilted her head back; his lips began to explore the exposed flesh of her neck.

His shaking hands framed her face, placing hot kisses against her lips again, and she opened up to him, granting his tongue access, just as she'd dreamed. She massaged his tongue with hers, nervous and aroused at the same time, feeling him hardening by the moment. She couldn't believe what she was doing. She couldn't resist the urge to graze her fingers against his flesh. She felt fire coming from her fingertips, and he deepened their kiss, his hand moving up her thigh to claw at her undergarments.

"Yes," she breathed, as he used both hands to work at her undergarments. She could feel his fingers raking down her thighs. Her flesh stung, but she didn't care. She needed this more than he did. She needed to feel him inside of her; thrusting inside of her and making her feel alive again. She didn't care about the pain of tomorrow. She cared about the pleasure of being with the only man who could make her feel it.

"God" He breathed as his hands pulled her undergarments from her body. He wasted no time in touching her, feeling what he did to her; feeling the way his fingers fit so tightly inside of her. She groaned, feeling him already thrusting inside of her, preparing her for what was to come. Her lips found his neck, nipping at the flesh, as her hands gripped his shoulders. His thumb circled her core, causing her to cry out in pleasure.

"Joseph!" She moaned. "Joseph, please!" He ignited something inside of her and she felt herself spilling around him. Her need was so intense that she couldn't think straight any more and when her mouth placed kisses to his chest, she felt as if she might melt in his arms. "Oh God. Oh…..Joseph!" She couldn't control her cries any more as she tumbled backwards, bringing him with her. She was burning now as she felt him burying her breasts in the palms of his hands.

"So beautiful!" he whispered, crushing her lips against his as he straddled her. She hissed softly as he gently bit at her nipple. She was beginning to pound even harder now, needing him.

"I need you! I need you!" She groaned into his ear.

"Are you certain about this, my love?" He stared deeply into her eyes, willing her to say yes.

"Yes, Joseph! Oh God, yes! I need you…I need….." She muffled her words into his mouth as he deepened their kiss. She gasped, as she felt his tip slip inside of her. She squeezed her eyes shut and his hand moved to guide himself inside. When she cried out against him, he started to pull back worried that something was wrong.

"Don't go. Not now. Don't stop, Joseph. Don't stop." She pleaded with him.

"I won't!" he breathed. His hands gripped her hips and he plunged himself inside of her. She cried out, gripping his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist. She arched her back and he tried to gain his composure. Her nails raked down his back, and he began to move inside of her. His slow, deep thrusts caused her head to hit the ground with a hard thud. She gasped, their passion overtaking the pain. When his hand slipped between them to stroke her, she cried out and he began to move faster.

"Joseph! Joseph…" Her legs tightened around him instinctively, and he pressed his lips to hers, his hands gripping her breasts.

"Oh!" she moaned, pulling him tighter to her body. She could feel each move he made and as his thrusts grew deeper, she felt her body stretching. As he moved inside of her, he saw her smile and he couldn't believe it was happening. She was writhing now, her eyes started to close and he started to slow down. He was afraid of what to do. All of the what ifs started to swim through his head and he tried to focus. His hands kneaded her creamy thighs as he plunged deeper into her. She let out a cry and it startled him. He started pulling back and she felt him.

"No! Don't stop. If you stop, I'll kill you!" she breathed, her eyes closed so tightly that he wasn't sure if she was serious or not.

"You are killing me!" He chuckled into her hair, feeling her nails on his back again.

"Just don't stop, please." She breathed.

"Are you okay?" He had to be certain.

"Joseph!" She opened her eyes, the look on her face incredulous, causing him to smile.

"Not even an earthquake could stop me now!" He panted, his focus sharpening. His mouth claimed hers again in a devastating kiss that threatened to consume them both. His hands were on her hips again as her body urged him on.

As Joseph drove himself into her harder and harder, shots of electricity raced through Clarisse's body. "Joseph…Oh God…..oh…please…." She panted out her words.

He could tell she was almost over the edge. Breaking their kiss, he moved down and took her breast into his mouth, grazing the nipple with his teeth. He felt her entire body suddenly clench around him. "Joseph…Oh God…Oh God!" She cried out, feeling every nerve ending in her body on fire and exploding with extreme pleasure.

Joseph groaned as she continued to shudder in his arms with the force of her orgasm. Unable to hold back his own release any longer, he cried out her name in a hoarse whisper, his hips jerking uncontrollably against her willing body.

Finally he collapsed on top of her and then rolled to his side, bringing her with him, her head resting on his chest. He placed a kiss to her damp forehead as her body trembled in his arms once again.

When he could finally catch his breath and speak again, he looked down at the woman lying in his arms. She was breathing deeply, her eyes closed as a few tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Clarisse? Are you all right?" He suddenly felt like cursing himself, hoping to God she didn't regret what they had just done.

"Yes." She shivered slightly as Joseph gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. She could feel his breath on her face and hear the worry in his voice. She opened her eyes and cast him a small smile. "It's just…..in my wildest dreams, I never imagined that making love could be so…so beautiful!"

"Neither did I, my love. I've envisioned making love to you so many times, but never dreamed that it would actually happen. It was perfect! You're perfect!" He couldn't resist placing another gentle kiss to her lips.

Before long, she felt Joseph's breathing become deeper and knew he was asleep, but sleep would not come so easily for her. The shadows of duty and what she must do began to cloud her head. What had they just done? What had she just done? How could she have allowed this to happen? No, she hadn't allowed it to happen; she had wanted it to happen just as much as he did. Never in her life had she felt so loved, so cherished as she did in Joseph's arms, but it could never happen again. She was a Queen and a married one at that; she had a duty, a duty to the people of Genovia and to Rupert. It had been one special night between them, but that's all it could ever be, just one special night, no matter how much her heart ached for him.

Tomorrow they would have to talk about this, she'd have to make him understand, but tonight all she wanted to do was lie in his arms and not think about anything except how much she loved this man.

To Be Continued………..


	23. Chapter 23

Here is the long awaited chapter 23! Thanks to RevSue for being the best beta ever and also to those of you who were sweet enough to leave feedback for me. This chapter is dedicated to all of you and also thank you for not giving up on this story!!! Just to let you know the next chapter is already more than half finished, I'm on a roll thanks to you guys!!! So I dedicate this to RevSue, Shakayla, Tayryn, Prettycrazy, OSUSprinks, miyabinohana, ModernMillie, ProperlyPrim18, Kristi-Julie, **Jessica**** Van Meter, **Julie Elizabeth Andrews, bluegirl-783, Zoeteproet, HMS Frivolity and Felines, Clarisse Renaldi, Mary P fan, Zsulie, luvhector, Kelsea Scarlett, I luv Julie Andrews, gynji, Moggie, CJmynixMG, Gracie'sMom, and Always Hopeful!!! I don't think I left anyone out but if I did please forgive me and let me know!!! Also for those of you who are awaiting an update on "Mountain Lion", it will be coming very soon!!!! Hugs to you all and please enjoy and leave feedback!!!

Chapter Twenty-Three

Inside the palace………………

"Where is she now, Charlotte?" came Shades' voice through the headset.

"She's in her suite. I was on my way to see her now." Charlotte could tell something was very wrong just by his tone of voice.

"All right." The head of security sighed audibly. "Charlotte, stay with her until the palace is secured. Where are you now?"

"The kitchen" she swiftly replied.

"Okay, just get there as quickly as you can. We have reason to believe that security has been breached. We don't think it was the storm that knocked the power out. Hurry Charlotte."

She could almost feel the apprehension coming through her headset. "On my way now!" She replied. "And Shades?"

"Yeah?" She could hear him barking out orders already to his men in the background.

"Have you contacted Joseph about this yet?" Surely he needed to be informed of the situation.

"Yeah, I tried to call him on his cell, but he either has it off or is just not picking up. I'm going to send someone down there now to let him know."

"Good idea! And Shades……?" Charlotte froze mid sentence as something hard hit the kitchen window she was passing by. Confused, she moved closer to investigate. Shining her flashlight in the darkness to look out, she screamed and nearly fainted as she came face to face with her queen. Well, with Queen Mia hanging upside down as her foot was stuck once again in the tree outside.

"Help!" Mia silently mouthed to her aide.

Regaining her composure, Charlotte realized that Shades was now shouting into her headset, he was on his way to the kitchen. Before she could react any further, the kitchen became swarmed with security.

Between the emergency backup lights and the half dozen flashlights that now filled the kitchen, Charlotte could make out the worried look on Shades face as he rushed to her side.

"What the hell is going on in here? Are you all right, Charlotte?" He asked, grabbing her by the arms, the action taking her by surprise and stealing her breath away for a moment. Her heart skipped a beat at the way he was staring at her, almost willing her to be all right.

"Yes..yes, I'm fine!" She finally managed to utter, suddenly remembering the young queen, still outside in the drizzling rain. "Queen Mia!" She pointed to the window and stepped slightly away. "Queen Mia has managed to get herself stuck in that tree!"

"She what?" Shades couldn't believe his ears.

Before Charlotte could respond, they were interrupted by a huge yelp from the young queen as she hit the ground with a hard thud.

"Ouch!!! That really hurt!" Mia whined, rubbing a sore spot on the back of her head as Shades, Charlotte, and several security personnel came rushing to her aide.

In the King's rooms…………

"It has all been arranged, your majesty." Gaylord informed his king. "In fact, the problem is being taken care of even as we speak."

"Good, good." Rupert managed to murmur back in reply. It couldn't be taken care of fast enough for his liking. Emptying the remaining contents of whiskey from his glass, he sighed in satisfaction as the liquid burned down his throat. His mind wandered back to the same woman it always had, Genovia's former queen and his former wife. With Ramirez out of his way, he'd get Clarisse back. He was certain of it and whatever happened to the man along the way, well that would just be icing on the cake.

In the cabin……………

Clarisse had a fine sheen of perspiration on her skin as she tossed back and forth in her sleep. Though she had tried for many years to cut certain events out of her mind and heart, her subconscious seemed intent on making her remember every detail in her dreams. Since her marriage to Joseph, these memories and images had come back to the surface, attacking her with a vengeance.

She was in the royal carriage, waiting for Rupert to finish his speech and join her in the parade. It had been over two months since she had been summoned to the king's rooms and been forced to endure the attack he had made on her body. With Joseph gone and her finding herself with child, she found the best way to cope was simply to pretend that certain things had never happened. This worked well on most things. Rupert had taken to including her on many responsibilities regarding the ruling of the country and had showered her with more gifts than she could count. Since the day, he had found out that she was pregnant again, he had become like a different man constantly doting on her. They never talked about the night he had forced himself upon her, but it was obvious that he believed that that had been the night that she had conceived this third child. Only she, Marie, and the royal physician knew differently and they had been sworn to secrecy. Clarisse had trusted Marie with her life and as for the royal physician, he had always liked the young queen. They would be making the announcement of the third heir to the throne as soon as the boys returned from school at the end of the week. Oh how she missed her boys! Would they ever know or be able to accept their sibling if the truth were to ever get out?

Joseph was the other topic that never came up. She learned to grieve in private and put up a great wall that no one could get through the rest of the time. Night after night, alone, she'd lie in the darkness, crying herself into a fitful sleep. During the day, she'd slip into her façade, only Marie knew how the Queen's heart was truly breaking and feared that Clarisse might never recover. Rupert continued to lavish her with everything a woman could want, but it was Joseph she needed. He was her breath of life. She supposed Rupert must being going elsewhere for his personal needs as he had not touched her since that one horrible night and for that she was grateful. As long as she played the part of his queen, he seemed happy and content to just leave her be for now. She wasn't sure how she would cope when the time did come when Rupert would insist on his right into her bed, but she couldn't think about that right now. She would get through today, do her duty to Genovia, ride in this silly parade, waving and smiling as if everything in the world were right. Tonight, when she was alone and only then, she would allow her thoughts to return to the one person whom she loved with her soul, the man whose child was growing safely within the warmth of her belly. "Oh god!" Clarisse thought sadly as she rubbed her stomach lovingly.

All too soon, Rupert had joined her in the royal carriage. The wall she quickly erected still could not keep her from flinching when Rupert took her hand in his, brought it to his lips and placed a kiss upon it. As the carriage began to roll, she abruptly broke the contact and looked down at her hands. Gasping as she felt him turn her face to his, she finally met his eyes with hers. He smiled and brushed her cheek with his thumb, but there was just no way that she could force herself to return his smile. All she could do was stare and then Rupert dropped his hand and began to wave to the people who crowded the streets of Genovia. Turning and plastering a smile on her face, Clarisse too began to wave. The crowds were loud and roaring, everyone wanting to get a glimpse of their king and queen.

Somewhere in the roar of the crowd she heard her name. Turning around quickly, she searched the faces trying to find the one who had spoken her name and made her heart stop. She was almost standing in the carriage as she frantically continued to scan through the crowd, hoping to somehow see his face, if only for a brief moment.

Her heart very quickly began to race, she knew he was close, so close and then just as suddenly her heart dropped as if it had crashed into a million tiny pieces as she realized deep within that he had gone.

Gasping and forcing herself to recover, she willed the tears away that were pricking at her eyes. Thankfully, Rupert hadn't seemed to take notice of his wife's state. As Clarisse sat back in the carriage and once again plastered a smile upon her face for her people, pain gripped her stomach, almost making her double over with its intensity. Her mind screaming out in agony at God to please not take this baby from her, she quickly sat back up very erect in her seat and continued on through the parade. When they reached the palace and Rupert quickly excused himself as he had to prepare for a meeting in ten minutes, Clarisse remained still for a moment. She was terrified, her hands gripping the seat so hard her knuckles were turning white.

"Your majesty?" She heard a guard say and realized they were speaking to her. "May I help you down?"

"Yes, thank you." She tried to hide her pain. Taking the guard's hand, she shakily stepped down from the carriage and then collapsed into a heap as another wave of pain suddenly gripped her stomach.

"Noooooooo!!!!!!" She screamed. "Please God, noooooooo!!!!!!"

"Clarisse love, wake up!!! It's all right!" Joseph tried to soothe his wife. "It was only a dream…shhhhhhhh!"

She sat in his arms, clutching her stomach, her head buried in his chest as she cried deep heart wrenching sobs. He continued to whisper loving words into her ear as he sat rocking his wife, wanting more than anything to take away her pain.

When she had calmed somewhat, he tried again to get her to open up to him. Taking her face into his hands, he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He could still feel her body tremble and she was taking deep shaky breaths. "Clarisse darling, please!" He began. "Look at me!" He commanded gently.

When she finally lifted her eyes to his, he gasped at the pain he saw reflected in her blue depths. Taking a deep breath to calm his own racing heart, he reached out to her with all the love in his heart, hoping to connect to her with that part of himself where their souls were intertwined. "Can't you feel how much I love you? Can you feel how my heart breaks every time you hurt?" Closing his eyes for a moment, he sighed as he tried to find the words to convey to her all that he was trying to say.

At last, he opened them to find her staring at him intently, almost as if she were trying to see straight through to his soul. After a deep shuddering breath, she finally responded. "Yes!"

"Then please, tell me what you have been afraid to tell me. Tell me everything, right here, right now!!!" Joseph pleaded with all of his heart.

She knew she could no longer refuse him. Whatever happened from this moment on, he had a right to know and she would just have to trust that he would somehow find it in his heart to forgive her. Taking another deep, shuddering breath, she began to tell him of her deepest secret, one he should have known about long ago.

To Be Continued…………………………………


	24. Chapter 24

A special thanks to RevSue for being my beta on this and please forgive the cliffhanger at the end, working on next chapter already!!! Same disclaimers as always!!! And thanks to CjmynixMG, Pim Pam Poentje, Clarisse Renaldi, Shakayla, Prettycrazy, OSUSprinks, kbmaillist, and anyone whom I may have missed.

Chapter 24

"Your majesty?" Shades knelt down next to his queen. "Are you hurt?"

"No ummm, I'm all right!" Mia's face was flushed with embarrassment at being caught in such a predicament. The idea of sneaking away for a while without being watched had seemed so much easier in her head. Now all she wanted to do was crawl under a rock somewhere and hide for the rest of her life.

"Are you certain you are all right?" her aide reiterated. Mia could see the worry and concern etched into Charlotte's face and then really began to feel dumb for climbing down that tree and in the rain, no less. Ughhhh! Would she ever be able to look anyone in the eye again?

"Yes, I'm fine!" Mia replied, quickly getting to her feet. Everyone was getting soaked in the rain and it was all because of her. "I'm so…so sorry for getting all of you out here like this!" she said, apologizing profusely.

"That's quite all right, your majesty! I imagine you must have been feeling pretty cooped up with all that has been going on here today. I probably would have done the same in your situation." Charlotte empathized, quickly getting up herself.

"Thank you!" Mia gave a small, grateful smile to the young woman.

Shades was already on his feet and scoping the grounds for any possible signs of an intruder, issuing orders to several of his men. "Let's move inside quickly!" he commanded, ushering both women towards the palace doors.

"I feel so stupid!" Mia spoke quietly now sitting in dry clothes, safely back within the confines of her suite. Shades had instructed the women to remain in Mia's suite until he could ensure that the palace was completely safe again. After learning of the imminent danger in which her life could be in, Mia really did feel awful for the trouble she had caused. Being forced to remain in her rooms throughout the day, after all that had transpired just since this morning though, had done little to calm her nerves. All she had wanted was just a little fresh air without several pairs of eyes watching her every move. She had always loved the rain and it had felt so stuffy inside the palace. Still, she was certain her grandmother would be appalled by her behavior.

"I imagine today has been very difficult for you! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." Charlotte really did understand the young queen.

"That's very kind of you to say, Charlotte!" Mia sighed audibly and plopped down on the couch next to her aide. The warmth emanating from the fire burning steadily in the fireplace felt wonderful to Mia. Both women sat transfixed for a few moments as they watched the light from the flames dance across the walls. Though they were still surrounded by darkness, it didn't seem quite as unbearable and stuffy to the young queen as it had a while ago.

"I imagine Grandma will have something to say about all of this!" Mia sighed loudly and waved her hands in the air exaggeratedly as if to emphasize her point.

"I'm sure her majesty will understand." Charlotte tried to reassure.

"One can only hope." Mia replied, rolling her eyes before returning her gaze to the fire. Speaking of her grandmother, the contents of the letter she had discovered, came rushing back. She debated about whether she should divulge this piece of information to Charlotte or not. She was certain the woman couldn't already know since the letter had been sealed. Would her grandmother be furious with her for reading it? Why did the guilt have to kick in now all of a sudden? Maybe her grandma wouldn't have to know she had read the letter, after all it had been in Charlotte's care all of this time and clearly unopened. Could she keep such a secret to herself and pretend she didn't know? If she did confide in Charlotte, would Charlotte feel obligated to tell her grandmother that her privacy had been invaded by her own grand daughter, no less? Mia's head began to pound. How did she manage to get herself into such messes? By her own curiosity, no doubt! "Ughhhhhh!!!" She groaned dramatically.

"Is there something wrong, your majesty? Is it your head? Would you like me to get you something for it?" Charlotte was almost to her feet, concerned and ready to do whatever she could.

"No…no!" Mia replied nervously. "Ummm, it's just something I read in Grandma's things."

"You mean in her journals?" Charlotte was trying to think back and remember what it could be.

"Not exactly!" revealed Mia to the other woman.

Back in the cabin…………

"Ahhhh, I'm not really sure where to start." Clarisse began nervously. Now that she had made the decision to bare her soul and the moment had come, she wasn't sure she could go through with it. Her mouth had gone completely dry, tears still pricked at her eyes, and she felt as if her body would never stop trembling. She pulled away from his embrace and quickly got to her feet.

Joseph was right on her heels as she made her way over to the fireplace and stared deep into the dying flames, her arms folded around herself as she turned her back to him. Deciding to give her a few moments to gather her thoughts, he knelt down and stoked the fire that had begun to burn out, bringing it back to life. He looked up to study her face, not surprised when her eyes closed as she struggled to pull herself together. Standing to his feet, he moved in front of her and gently cupped her face in his hand. He knew how hard this must be for her, though he couldn't imagine why she would be afraid to tell him anything. Didn't she know the power she held over him? With just one look, she could make him do anything. She held the key to his heart and soul. Everything he was and ever would be was wrapped up in her and always would be. She was his everything!

"Darling?" Joseph whispered, willing her to open her eyes and look at him.

A tear escaped down her face as she finally opened her eyes. Unable to meet Joseph's gaze just yet, she stared down once again into the flames of the fire.

Gently lifting her chin so their eyes could meet, he smiled his special smile, the one he had always reserved only for her. "You know you can tell me anything. There is nothing you could ever say that would make me want to leave you."

She drew strength from his words but just as quickly remembered the time her words had caused him to leave her, even if he hadn't wanted to. "There was one time!" She spoke just above a whisper. "Do you remember?"

Did he remember? How could he ever forget? It was one of the most painful times of his life. Joseph's mind drifted back and he grimaced as he remembered the hurt and frustration he had felt that day. "Of course, I remember." Joseph said quietly moving them both carefully to the floor, wondering why Clarisse had brought this up.

It had been two long months since their one special night at the cabin. Time and again he had tried to get Clarisse alone so they could talk about what had happened and what their future might be like, but each time he had met resistance. She had seemed distant from him and he had wondered if she had come to regret what had happened between them that night. Yet, there were times when no one was looking that he would catch her staring at him with longing and could it be, love in her eyes? Then the mask would slip into place and the moment would be gone. She had never used that protective facade with him before and it had scared him that she would be doing it now. Then one morning, she had sent for him. He had entered her office and had noticed immediately that for once, finally they were alone. A smile had tugged at the corners of his mouth as he had realized that maybe she was ready to talk about what had happened between them. Reaching her desk as she had ended a phone call, one look as blue eyes met blue eyes, and his smile had disappeared. His heart had fallen and he had felt sick. Whatever she was about to tell him, he had known her well enough by then to know that it was not going to be good.

"Joseph….Joseph?" She called to him now, trying to regain his attention. She could see that he did indeed remember that terrible day and it broke her heart to see the pain in his eyes. Pain she had put there.

Clearing his throat, Joseph tried to focus on what Clarisse was saying. It had been so easy to let his mind wander back to that time and just as painful. "Forgive me, you were saying?" Joseph replied, trying to keep the slight edge out of his voice, but failing miserably.

"Oh Joseph!" She could feel her whole body tremble. She felt as if she couldn't move, all she could do was just stand there, rooted to the spot.

"Clarisse?" He whispered hoarsely as he moved to take her into his arms. "It's okay, darling! Shhh….it's okay!" He tried to soothe her, but felt her tense in his arms even more. "Clarisse, look at me!" He commanded gently, but she refused to meet his eyes. Her resistance was puzzling to him. She hadn't physically pulled away from him, but he could feel the disconnection just as well. Desperate to soothe away her fears, he tried once more. "Clarisse, about that day. I have never blamed you for it. I knew it wasn't your choice. Damn it, look at me, Clarisse!" He took her face into his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I know Rupert made you say those things, I didn't and don't blame you for it. Do you understand me?"

She pulled away abruptly and immediately rose to her feet, fighting for every deep breath she was able to force into her lungs. "No Joseph! You don't understand! It was by my own choice that I made the decision to end things as I did that day." She finally just blurted out, her hands clenched nervously together as she stared straight ahead into the flames of the fire.

Words and images flooded his thoughts, causing his heart to pound so fast that he thought it would pound right out of his chest. It was as if someone had just knocked the wind out of him and he suddenly found himself gasping for breath. "I'm afraid, I don't understand. Perhaps you had better explain." His voice sounded strained and foreign even to his own ears. He wanted to get up and go to her, but all his strength seemed to have left him, making him feel weaker than he had ever felt in his life.

She could feel Joseph's eyes on her as she tried desperately to find the best way to tell him what she needed to say. She couldn't even bear to turn around and look at him, knowing what she'd surely see in his eyes if she did. "I don't know how to do this, Joseph!" She suddenly heard herself whisper brokenly.

"Just say it, Clarisse…..please!" His reply was no more than a strangled plea.

She turned and fell to her knees before the man who owned her heart and soul and finally began to tell him of the things that she knew might end up breaking both of their hearts. There were no tears this time; this was something she had to do. He deserved to know the truth. Clenching and unclenching her hands, she tried to keep them from shaking. "That day in my office when I said such terrible things to you, it was because I knew the only way to make you truly leave would be to make you angry with me. I had to make you believe that I didn't love you. If I could get you to hate me, then you'd have no reason to stay." The words fell from her lips as if she were only telling a story, void of any emotion at the moment. The man listening however, knew differently and kept his silence.

"Rupert had begun to suspect that you had feelings for me. I'm not certain how or why, but he did. He had already made arrangements to have you transferred to the embassy in Spain. He confronted me about it alone one evening. He said he knew that you were in love with me and even hinted that maybe I was in love with you too. When I didn't deny it, he grew angry and left." She paused, trying to gather courage and wondering how to answer the question she could see forming in Joseph's face even though he had yet to voice it.

Taking a deep breath, she continued on. "It wasn't until after you left though that it became evident to him, I suppose, just how much I truly did love you." On impulse she reached out and grasped his hand in hers. "Oh god, Joseph……..I missed you so, you were all I could think about!" She spoke passionately. "I…I didn't know how to go on. I felt like I had lost so much. All I had left was……." Her voice became barely more than a whisper and Joseph had to strain to hear her next words. "All I had left was our child growing inside of me."

"Clarisse…what???" He couldn't get his mouth to form the words. What had she just said?

"I was pregnant with our child, Joseph! That night at the cabin, don't you see? I sent you away because I was carrying our child!" Her words were rushing past her lips and yet they wouldn't come out fast enough. Her pulse was beating out of control as she waited for him to say something, anything to let her know that he had understood. "Joseph?" She could feel his hand falling out of hers.

He was already to his feet and reaching for the door, having no idea how he had managed to get there. He froze as he heard her broken voice plead to him. "Joseph, please! Don't go!"

Without looking at her, he cleared his throat and tried to think of what to say. "I have to get away and think, Clarisse. Forgive me!" And with those words, he was gone, the door closing in her face just before she reached it.

Joseph's mind and heart were in such turmoil that he failed to see the dark figure emerging from the shadows. As a deep pain pierced his right temple, his world suddenly went black.

To Be Continued…………….


	25. Chapter 25

Sorry it has taken so long to update! If you wish for more on this, then do let me know and thank you to all who have!!! Enjoy! Also thanks to Diana for being my beta on this chapter!!!

Chapter Twenty Five

Clarisse took a deep shuddering breath as her hands automatically gripped the arms of her seat. Her entire body tensed as another flash of lightening illuminated the sky. She had been steadily watching the storm build in its intensity as she stared out the window of Genovia One. She had never really learned to enjoy flying, especially during thunderstorms, they made her restless. Somehow with Joseph though, she had always felt secure. Maybe it was because he knew how much they bothered her and took it upon himself to distract her, whether it was with a simple joke, good conversation, or even sometimes with a look or touch.

"Oh God!" her mind screamed out. "What would she do if she couldn't find Joseph and make him understand?" She felt the plane jerk furiously all around her as another clap of thunder resounded in her ears. She needed him so much!

It had been two weeks since he had walked out the door at the cabin, two miserable weeks. When he hadn't returned right away, she had told herself not to panic; but with each day that passed without a word from her husband, the alarm she felt rose and threatened to consume her. Every report from Shades and the rest of the security staff, assured her that they'd find him; and yet it was as if he'd simply vanished from Genovia and out of her life. Her heart had wanted to begin searching for Joseph right away, but her duty to Mia and the country had prevented her once again, from the duty she had to herself. Her only choice was to wait and put her hope in Shades that somehow they'd find Joseph and bring him back to her.

Rupert seemed to take great delight in the fact that Joseph was gone. He had no trouble coming up with one thing after another to anger her or debate about in parliament. When he wasn't annoying her, it seemed he was intent on trying to woo her and win her affections again, as if that could ever happen. It wasn't until yesterday's conversation with Mia that Clarisse had found the determination she needed to finally put her heart first.

"The hell with duty for once!"

That was what Mia had said, and for once Clarisse could not find the words to scold her grand daughter for her choice of language. Mia was right; she had to find Joseph herself. After giving it some careful thought, she considered where she should begin. She knew he had a sister in Spain; they had even spoken once with her shortly after their wedding. So Clarisse had decided to start there. Before either Mia or she could speak with Charlotte about it though, Shades knock had interrupted, sharing that a ticket from Genovia to Spain had recently been purchased in Joseph's name only a week before.

This is what had brought the former queen of Genovia to where she was now, hastening towards Spain, in the middle of one of the worst thunderstorms she had ever witnessed. She knew that if lightening struck Genovia One, it would be her own fault. She had completely ignored every warning her pilot and staff had given her and had insisted on making the journey. Now that she knew where Joseph was, she had to get to him right away; too much time had already been wasted. She simply couldn't lose him now and not even a frightening thunderstorm was going to hold her back!

Back at the palace……….

"Your majesty?" Charlotte approached the young queen as she sat signing the last bit of paperwork from the huge stack she had started with that morning.

"Yes?" One look at Charlotte's face and Mia knew the news couldn't be good.

"Her Majesty's plane…..there…there's a thunderstorm…and…it could be we've..uh… lost contact with the pilot…. simply because of the storm." Charlotte felt like she was choking on the words she was struggling so hard to say. She didn't stutter, but this was the Queen they were talking about, her former employer and friend.

"Charlotte, will you please have Shades come to my office immediately?" Mia was doing her best not to panic. She needed to find out everything her security knew at this point.

"Of course, Your Majesty" Within moments, the head of security had arrived.

"Shades, have you…….?" Mia began, but was interrupted as the door to her office was abruptly thrown open.

"I demand to know where Clarisse has gone. I am the King, I have a right to know!" Rupert entered with Gaylord on his heels and all but growled at the head of security, while seeming to ignore both of the women present.

Charlotte looked incredulously first to Shades and then to Mia, instantly feeling a small sense of pride as she noticed the firm look of determination that swept across the young queen's face.

Before Shades even had a chance to respond to the King's demands, Mia boldly stepped forward and looked her estranged grandfather in the eye. "Sir, I don't think you are really in a position to demand anything, at least not yet. Until parliament decides otherwise, let me remind you that I am the reigning monarch of Genovia, whether you like it or not. Let me assure you that I intend to use my authority and the power given to me by this great nation to its fullest. As far as my grandmother is concerned, that sir, is none of your business. So if there is nothing else…."

The slight trembling in Mia's hands had long since stopped and all that she could feel now was a deep seeded anger at the audacity of this man who seemed to take great pleasure in intimidating those around him, most especially her grandmother. As for herself, he chose to ignore her altogether, unless it was to give her an order. In a small way, she felt almost invisible to this man at times and promised herself she'd find a way to stand up to him. This should have been such a happy time for all of them, especially Joseph and her Grandma. Instead this man had managed to turn everything upside down. It was weird because, in reality, this man was her natural grandfather; and yet, she found herself wishing she had never met him.

Since his arrival, she had often asked herself: Had her father ever gotten along with him? Was he the reason Uncle Pierre abdicated the throne? All of these thoughts kept running through her head. Joseph and her Grandmother were everything to her now; they had more than made up for the sixteen years of not knowing of her heritage or that they existed and loved her. She felt this incredible need to protect the two people that had taught and given her so much.

Rupert was momentarily stunned as he listened to his Granddaughter. Clarisse had really done well with her. He marveled at her tenacity; she was so much like her father. If he and Clarisse could guide her, she would be the greatest queen Genovia had ever known. They'd have to choose a suitable husband for her, of course, to rule by her side, but she would be nothing short of magnificent. Given time, she'd come to accept him in her life and Phillipe would be so proud. All in good time though. Right now, first things first. Rupert plastered a smile upon is face. "Actually, Amelia….." He waited until he knew he had her complete attention.

"Yes?" Something in his voice made her mind snap to attention.

"There is a reason why I needed to find your Grandmother. I had wanted to speak with her about this matter first before going to Parliament; but given the circumstances, you should know that according to Genovian law she and I are still married." Rupert spoke matter of factly as if he had just announced plans for the next royal ball.

"Excuse me?" Mia replied incredulously. "She is married to Joseph now! You were declared legally dead, so how could the two of you possibly still be considered married to each other?

"Because my dear, under Genovian law, a royal marriage can only be dissolved by the reigning monarch……."

"But you were declared dead!" Mia interrupted.

"Yes, by the new head of security, who inadvertently gained knowledge at that time that there was a chance I was still alive. He chose to ignore that information so he could take my place as Clarisse's husband and share her bed." He shouldn't have to explain all of this to the girl. For God's sake, he was her Grandfather. What was wrong with her? Had Ramirez poisoned Phillipe's only child against him too? He could feel the rage boiling inside and almost out of control as he carefully watched her reaction.

"I don't believe that! Joseph would never do such a thing! You will never convince anyone that Joseph had any knowledge that you were still alive!" Mia was fuming; but found herself taking a step back. Shades abruptly stepped in front of her, preventing the harsh slap her Grandfather had intended to inflict upon her.

"Let's go, Your Majesty!" Shades spoke urgently whisking the young Queen away. Charlotte hastened behind, right on their heels leaving Rupert alone in the distance.

"I can't believe the nerve of that man!" Mia began.

Your majesty" Shades quietly interrupted when he was certain they were alone. "I'm sorry, but it has been confirmed, Genovia One has crashed. I'm putting together a search and rescue team right away and will head out to the crash site."

Charlotte gasped aloud as Mia felt her body begin to sway. "No, this can't be happening!"

To Be Continued………….


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